A year ago I was put under the knife (again) to have my lap band adjusted due to slippage. For those who are not familiar with gastric band surgery, I basically have an adjustable elastic band tied around the top of my stomach to fake my body into thinking it is full. Not really faking it because overeating is basically impossible when the band is tight and the results of overeating are exactly what you could logically expect, so no need for the gory details.
Once my band was put back into place, I was supposed to wait for a while and slowly begin the process of tightening, which involves a monthly 15 minute appointment with a nurse. But the thing is before re-tightening, it’s like a eating vacation. There is limited blockage so what was once just a quarter of a cheeseburger quickly turned into a whole cheeseburger. So I delayed the tightening. And than had one done. And then delayed it again and again, finding the same comfortable solace in food as I had before I had the original surgery almost two and half years ago.
Note: this is not an accurate depiction of my stomach. Nor will it ever be
.
And now, one year later, I am about 45lbs heavier than my lowest, pre-second surgery weight and I feel pretty horrible about it. All the clothes I purchased last year no longer fit, my basketball playing feels slow and sluggish, I am winded easier and often and have no exercise or eating plan to think of. I feel lost and a bit like a failure, particularly considering the cost of the surgery.
The silver lining is that I have scheduled a fill (re-tightening) of the band next week which I am using as the catalyst to the new eating and exercise regime. I know how important routine is in my life, as I am a person that relies on a schedule to be successful.
Any hints on how to take more control of my eating and exercising habits are welcome.
Especially as bikini season approaches.
I have recently discovered My Fitness Pal – whether you use the app or the online version, this is a great way to track your food and exercise and helps keep you accountable. I have found my eating habits have significantly changed now that I see the calories associated with my ‘snacks’.
Jason if it makes you feel any better, I’m having a hell of a time shedding my baby weight.
(She’s 6…)
Seriously, I’m being funny – but not. I weigh about 20 more pounds than I did before I got pregnant with her and I just cannot get rid of it. Only because I fill my face with king size chocolate bars and vanilla ice capp supremes…
The I sit and bitch about how I weigh more now than I ever have (unless I was heavily pregnant)
I have a few weekend getaways planned this year and a trip to the Bahamas next year. If that doesn’t motivate me to change my ways, nothing will.
I’m thinking of my new mantra that I use for all aspects of life:
If it wasn’t good enough today, do better tomorrow.
I remember someone telling me how much they hated summer heat when they were heavier. You mention basketball and clothes and I am sure it effects other things too. Maybe think about those things and try to work on the why of having more and replace it with some other “comfortable solace” like using the new products you are being given by Sonya. *winks* or a walk after dinner with kids instead of seconds. People speak of food journals and write about feelings around eating- not sure how you feel about that but there are tons of emotional triggers with food. If you see them coming, it helps.
I dont know- I ate my sadness yesterday at Weber’s after dropping my daughter at camp for the entire summer- so what do I know ? it was a cheeseburger and shake and it was divine.
Also are you running at all still- that helps HUGE.
Don’t beat yourself up though!
Awww, dude… don’t beat yourself up too badly – tomorrow is a new day. Go to your appointment, and get back to the pace of life yo enjoy better, a little at a time… you can do this! YES!!