2012 was a record-breaking year for births in Alberta, with 52,398 new souls being welcomed into the world here. And according to Service Alberta, Emma and Liam were the two most popular names given to these little bundles of joy.
I’m gonna be honest with you here: I love it when the top-baby-names list comes out each year. It’s a chance to put on my robe and wig, take out the gavel and get judg-ey. And although we don’t like to admit it, most of us secretly like mounting our high horses and looking down our noses at the plebs, with all their common names. *SIGH* Poor things though, really, aren’t they? Quite.
Surprisingly, I quite like most of the names on this year’s “most popular” list (with a few exceptions on the boys’ list). I don’t know if this means my standards are slipping, or that the young folk who are out there having babies have simply started to rise to my level (I quite suspect the latter, however).
Here it is, then: Alberta’s Top Ten Baby Names for 2012 (complete with my stamp of approval or disapproval).
Girls:
- Emma – APPROVED (One of the sweetest and most wonderful little girls I know is named Emma; so how could I not love it?)
- Olivia – APPROVED
- Emily – APPROVED (Sounds a lot like Emma, but still a completely lovely name)
- Sophia – APPROVED (Wonderful name with a slightly exotic Italian flavour)
- Ava – APPROVED
- Lily – APPROVED (This was a top pick for me when my own girls were born. Still love it.)
- Ella – APPROVED
- Isabella – APPROVED
- Abigail – APPROVED
- Chloe – APPROVED
Boys:
- Liam – APPROVED (But just by the slightest hairsbreadth of margins. Actually, I used to adore this name, but it has become awfully common lately, and it’s lost its shine for me. So this one gets a MEH.)
- Ethan – APPROVED
- Jacob – APPROVED
- Logan – APPROVED
- Mason – DISAPPROVED (I don’t personally care for the recent trend of naming boys after medieval occupations: Mason, Carter, Archer, Hunter, etc.)
- Benjamin – APPROVED (Classic name, and Ben is a great name too)
- Lucas – APPROVED
- Alexander – APPROVED (Probably my single favourite boy’s name)
- Carter – DISAPPROVED (See above; Mason)
- Noah – APPROVED
So, that was fun, right? But what’s even more fun is checking out the most unusual baby names to be registered each year. Check out the wackiest monikers bestowed by (obviously crack-smoking) Alberta parents in 2012:
Girls:
- Precious – Really? Precious? Have you been to a movie in the past five years? You need to go and download this movie – or better yet read the book – (or even just think of Gollum, for heaven’s sake) and then decide if that’s what you want people to think of every time they say your baby girl’s name. Do it. Now. Quickly! Before the ink dries on those birth registry papers…
- Dancing-Sunflower – Yeah. I mean…you guys. I can’t even.
- Rhaney-Day – Okay, this one just sounds like a character from a My Little Pony episode.
- Shy-Angel – Ditto.
- Beautiful – Yes. I get it. To you, she is and always will be: beautiful. Beautiful-with-a-capital-B, even. The most beautiful girl in the whole wide world. But let’s just put ourselves in her shoes and fast-forward thirteen years…she’s in grade eight…she sits through attendance every day in homeroom…the teacher calls out “Beautiful”. I can think of at least five funny/stupid/snarky/bitchy replies, and I’m not even trying. Don’t do that to your baby, friends. Just don’t.
- Skeeter – Apart from the obvious “hillbilly-version-of-mosquito” situation, in my preliminary (and admittedly sloppy) research, I unearthed at least four famous people with the name Skeeter. All male. (Which makes me wonder why it’s okay to girl-ify boys’ names, à la Jordan, Robin, Taylor, etc. but it never works the other way around…)
Boys:
- Thunderbolt – Okay, I think I did this one already. My Little Pony. Right?
- Little – Well, sure. Today he’s little. But he won’t always be. And try to picture that on a resume: “Little Johnson, Ph.D.” Please don’t.
- Horizon – I don’t even know where to go with this one.
- Brave – Well, when you put it up against Thunderbolt and Little, Brave doesn’t sound so bad after all, does it? Still, it’s a pretty big name to live up to.
- Icarus – this might actually be the best of the worst. After all, it is pulled straight from the Classics. Icarus is a name with a legacy. A tragic legacy of hubris and fiery death, but a legacy, nonetheless.
Benjamins are good, but Benedicts! Oh they are sweethearts.
I have a Benjamin! I love the name. A Benjamin, or Ben, can grow up to be a truck driver or a potter or a supreme court justice and his name will still suit him. That’s what I looked for in a name. One that would not sound silly when paired with his occupation, whatever that may be. Imagine a Wall Street tycoon named Horizon… Just not happening.
LOL great list!!! The more obscure ones are priceless!…hmmm maybe that should be a name too?