Oscars 2013 Recap

In typical Oscar fashion, it felt long and went into overtime. When it came to the host, it was a night that made me miss Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. A LOT.  When it came to everything else…it was  a night where Adele seemed to “phone-in” her performance,  Kristen Stewart was sulking, Catherine Zeta- Jones appeared to lip-sync, people’s speeches were cut off by the theme from Jaws, Anne Hathaway‘s Prada gown started “nipplegate”, Daniel Day-Lewis won for a history-making third time, and Michelle Obama announced that Argo won for Best Picture!!

Without further ado, here’s our round up of the 2013 Oscar Highs and Lows:

Red Carpet  – HIGH

I have to admit, I had many favourites last night. The trend seemed to be bows in unique places (at the navel – Kerry Washington, over the heart – Reese Witherspoon, or at the hip – Zoe Saldana). Another trend was nude/pale tones as seen on Jessica Chastain, Amy Adams, Amanda Seyfreid and Jennifer Lawrence.

Putting aside the fact that Charlize Theron can wear the same garbage bag as Bradley Cooper wore in Silver Linings Playbook and make it look like Valentino, she was stunning last night. Tall, fit and statuesque, she was commanding in a white structured Dior gown. Whoever thought of pairing her with Dustin Hoffman to present later on, must have had a sense of humour. At 5 ft 10in she towered over the 5 ft 5in actor. Yet he loved every minute of it – what man wouldn’t – and complemented her on her dancing.

Jessica Chastain wore one of my favourite dresses of the night. Designed by Armani Prive it was cut on a bias which fit her beautifully and it shimmered. Her hair was amazing, she wore almost no jewellery and it was a gorgeous overall look.

Reese Witherspoon wore a beautiful black and blue Louis Vuitton with a side-bow across the chest. Having had a baby recently, she looked fit and lovely.

Jane Fonda. Oh My God! This woman is 74. Let that sink in for a minute. Fonda was jaw-dropping in a canary yellow Versace gown.  I should dream to look like this when I’m 74!

Other highs were Naomi Watts in sparkly one-shoulder strap Armani Prive gown and Zoe Saldana.

Worst Trend – Beards

Why did most of the men have beards last night? George Clooney looked like Santa, and Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Paul Rudd, Joaquin Phoenix, and Hugh Jackman were all sporting the hairy look. Maybe they’re all playing characters right now, but still… If I had to pick though, Affleck rocked that beard the best, followed by Jackman.

Red Carpet – Low

I expect a lot more from Nicole Kidman as she has the ability to look amazing and trend-setting. She wore a black and gold sequented L’Wren Scott gown but it just looked like too much was going on. Her messy hair didn’t help and did she really need to wear those huge earrings?

Catherine Zeta-Jones wore an overly-gilded Zuhair Murad gown, an enormous amount of make-up while accompanying husband Michael Douglas as they try to squelch those break-up rumours.

Most Predictable Look

Jennifer Aniston. I think I’ve seen that hair style before. Every. Single. Time. Why not try an up-do for a change? Yes, she looked good. But not memorable and just so…predictable. The red Valentino gown was okay, but it’s a safe choice and I’ve already forgotten about it. And so will you.

Best Hair – Female

A tie between Jessica Chastain and Reese Witherspoon. Beautifully styled, long flowing locks that went really well with the dresses they wore.

Worst Hair – Female

A tie between Nicole Kidman‘s sloppy up-do with a centre part matching her hubby’s and Deborra-Lee Furness aka. “Mrs. Hugh Jackman” with a fake ponytail. I know Helena Bonham Carter‘s messy up-do should be here, and she should be in the Worst Dressed list too. Yet she always looks this way, it’s become her signature quirky look. Not really fair to expect anything else.

Worst Hair – Male

When you have best the male hair in Hollywood, why would you grease it into oblivion? Not a good look for Bradley Cooper, but he’s been messing with his hair and trying centre parts at various events recently. That centre part doesn’t flatter (just ask Keith Urban). Runners-up are Eddie Redmayne whose windswept look was clearly inspired by Harry Styles and John Travolta with his super-dark toupee. I have no words.

Awards

There were very few surprises. We all knew Daniel Day-Lewis, Jennifer Lawrence and Anne Hathaway were sure bets. The wonderful Ang Lee who was recognized for his amazing work as the director of Life of Pi was chosen over odds-on favourites Ben Affleck and Steven Spielberg. We had a tie in the Best Sound Editing category between Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty. We knew Adele would win for Best Original Song and Quentin Tarrantino for Best Original Screenplay. Argo surprised some as Best Picture winner since Lincoln seemed to own award season. Affleck getting teary eyed at the end of his award speech was great to see.

Host

Seth MacFarlane didn’t measure up to the bar set by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at the Golden Globes, which are still fresh in my mind. He tried hard though and I thought we were off to a good start when he opened with:

“And the quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins NOW!”.

Also when he teased Daniel Day Lewis for staying in character during the entire filming of Lincoln: “If you ran into Don Cheadle at the studio lot, would you try to free him?”.

Then we got some song and dance which seemed to come out of nowhere. We also got a lot of William Shatner. There was a song about “boobs” and a Nazi looking for the Von Trapp family. The pacing was weird, the cameras didn’t cut to the audience as MacFarlane made jokes about them and even the Flying Nun skit was so-so. Bring Amy and Tina in to save this show next year. Please!!!

Tommy Lee Jones Audience Award for “Most Sulky”

Goes to…Kristen Stewart. Not that she ever looks happy, but at one point, the camera caught her looking bored and sullen in the audience. Earlier in the night she hobbled on to the stage (leaving her crutches behind) with messy hair and acted like she could barely bother to read her lines. The result was people thought she was getting high backstage. I really would love to see her smile from time to time.

Performance Highs

For a while there, I felt like I was watching the Tonys not the Oscars, but that’s not a bad thing. A trio of numbers started with Catherine Zeta-Jones (lip synching?) a number from Chicago. It got better from there when Jennifer Hudson got a standing ovation for “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going“. She was followed by Hugh Jackman who sang part of “Suddenly” and the rest of the Les Miserables cast sang “One Day More”. Even though they were singing a revoltionary song in ballgowns and despite the fact that Russell Crowe can’t sing, it was a great moment and the crowd stood again.

The audience also stood up after Dame Shirley Bassey‘s fabulous rendition of “Goldfinger” and Barbra Streisand‘s performance of “Memories” in tribute to the late Marvin Hamlisch.

Biggest Missed Opportunity for a Standing Ovation

If you’re going to honour one of the most successful and longest-running movie franchises in history, do you:

a) Create a typical montage of scenes from movies inspired by “In Memoriam”

b) Invite all six actors who portrayed James Bond and several Bond girls up on stage?

Sadly, the producers of the 2013 Academy Awards chose option A.

Best Speech

As with the Golden Globes, the honour belongs to Best Actor winner Daniel Day-Lewis. The man I’ve referred to as The Male Version of Meryl Streep, fittingly got the award from the lady herself. He joked he was first choice to play Thatcher just as she was to play Lincoln. He thanked Rebecca Miller, his wife of 16 years for living with “some very odd characters over the years”. Eloquent, classy, funny and memorable. THAT’s how you do an Oscar speech, people!

Now, when will someone listen to me and cast Daniel Day-Lewis and Meryl Streep in a film together? Acting heaven!

For full list of winners please visit the official site of the Academy Awards.