TigerGate

There really is very little to report today that doesn’t involve Tiger Woods. I mean, yes, I caught wind of news that he was in a car accident, but, AHEM, I was braving the malls for a little post-Thanksgiving shopping and didn’t think much of it. Until the story began to unfold. and unfold. and then unfold some more.

And then there was the talk that this happened at 2:30am…and that he drove into a fire hydrant and neighbor’s tree…hmm? DUI, perhaps? (NAY. Police have made a statement and come out to say that NO, alcohol was not involved)

And then there was the talk that Tiger Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren saw her husband stuck in the car, went inside to grab a golf club (isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?) to help Woods out of the car. hrmmm…heroism, perhaps? (NAY. Nordegren has since changed her story. She didn’t go back into the house for a club AND there was no blood on the steering wheel and from the pictures of the car post-crash, it looks like he didn’t really need rescuing)

And then there was talk about Tiger Woods’ call to a friend saying that his wife had “gone ghetto” and he had to run to Zales to get a “Kobe Special” – – – which, you know, is now a PHRASE for people who need to buy their wives jewelery to make cheating, you know, okay with sparkles. or something. another woman, perhaps? (POSSIBLE. Rachel Uchitel is either a serial liar or a serial mistress)

(also? ZALES? really?)

So, now, this is what we are left with…Tiger Woods may or may not be cheating on his wife. Tiger Woods may or may not have got injuries from a late night car crash that may or may not have been caused by excessive painkillers. Tiger Woods’ wife may or may not have beat him with a golf club. Tiger Woods may have crappy taste in jewelery stores.

interesting.