Love Triangle! Complete with shotgun fire!

i love me a good love triangle. really, i do.
except when it’s on LOST, because, seriously, when it was all Jack/Kate/Sawyer, i wanted to stab someone in the throat. and now that it’s all Kate/Sawyer/Juliet, i still want to stab someone in the throat.

but this one? this is a DOOZY.

Meet Tom Brady, New England Patriots quarterback

Meet Bridget Moynahan.

the 37-year-old model-actress was with Tom Brady for three years before the couple split, and then she announced her pregnancy with her now 1½-year-old son, John Edward Thomas Moynahan. Obviously, as she told Harper’s Bazaar, she was devastated. “When you’re suddenly pregnant and no one is standing by your side,
even if you’re in your 30s, it’s a hard conversation. I’m a traditional
girl, and I believe in marriage, and I just always thought that’s the
way I’d be doing this,” she says. “For a moment, it was hard for me to
accept that this was the way I was going to have a family.”

Meet Gisele Bundchen.

The 28-year-old supermodel is currently in Costa Rica celebrating her marriage to Tom Brady. again. She apparently thinks that this child is HERS. and she’s off saying things like “It’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my
child.I love him the same way as if he were
mine. I already feel like he’s my son, from the first day.”

A source close to Moynahan tells PEOPLE that SHE IS PISSED, “Bridget
has her own life, she doesn’t need to be involved in the drama of all
this, and she finds it disrespectful that her son is being paraded
around in front of the paparazzi when she’s specifically made it a
point of keeping him away from that. I can count on two
hands, in two years, the number of times Bridget has been photographed
with that baby. I can count on two hands the number of times in the
past month that Gisele has been photographed with that baby.”

and now let’s add another wrinkle into this. some GUNFIRE! Apparently, during the wedding ceremony on Saturday, members of Gisele Bundchen’s security team opened fire on two paparazzi photographers who were snapping pictures of the nuptials. “I
couldn’t believe it when I realized what they had done,” photographer
Uri Cortez said of the incident outside Bundchen’s seaside compound in
Mal Pais.

“No one was hurt but one of their cars was messed up,” said a spokesman for the INF agency, who had hired Cortez and his partner, Rolando Avila to take the photos.