I admit it, I am my kids’ biggest fan! They are both great little athletes and they both play a ton of sports. I know some people think we are crazy because of our schedule. Sometimes I have trouble keeping it all straight myself. I know there has been a ton of media attention and parenting advice against “over scheduling”. I know, in many people’s opinions, we would fall into this category. But, I also know my kids.
When I was growing up we did some extracurricular activities. Neither of my parents were especially sporty and both of them had busy lives that their three daughters had to fit in to. We did limited extracurricular sports and I did nothing competitive, ever. A big part of this was me. I was no athlete or dancer or performer. But, also, times were different and we spent a lot of our extra time just hanging around. Don’t get me wrong, downtime is extremely important, but, in my opinion, too much down time can also become a huge problem. I will call it “under scheduling” and I think I suffered from it as a child.
So, yes, as a parent, I want my children to have what I didn’t have. I want them to challenge themselves, to feel the rush of accomplishment, to learn compromise as members of a team and to learn to deal with disappointment. But, I’m also cautious of overdoing it and check in with them regularly. But still, after my son began to suffer from Sever’s Disease (heel pain experienced by growing, active kids) even I questioned whether the competitive hockey, soccer, track, Ultimate Frisbee, etc was a bit over the top. The problem was, he was loving it and did not want to give up anything.
For me, I see huge advantages and opportunities. What my children and our family get from competitive sports is totally underrepresented in the media and undervalued in society. What’s wrong with being talented and good at something? What’s wrong with working hard and seeing it pay off? And, for the rest of us (yes, I’m one of you too), what’s wrong with being average? Why can’t we acknowledge and even celebrate the natural talents of others instead of resenting it to the point that those who possess these talents and those that support them are made to feel bad?
Just like in the movie The Incredibles (yes, animated superheroes are my philosophers of choice) when Helen Parr is trying to explain to Dash why he can’t reveal his super powers and she says:
Or when Dash comments on being special:
Dash: “Which is another way of saying no one is.”
Seriously. So profound. If everyone’s “special” than no one really is. Sometimes we are so protective and self-righteous about our children that we miss the point. Some people are simply better at some things and there is nothing wrong with that. Most of us will be average at most things and that’s OK. I was never The Best at anything but I am happy and successful and loved. What message are we giving our children? How will they ever accept themselves or know what they’re good at or work hard to achieve something if “everyone is a winner”?
So, as the mother of two good athletes and a supporter of competitive sports, I have decided to come forward and represent all of the families whose kids participate in competitive programs. I have decided to let you in to my world and show you what it is like for a family whose kids play multiple competitive sports, all year long. The great thing is, I will not be alone. Thanks to Chevrolet who is also a big supporter of kids in sports you will follow my family’s journey for the year. We will join my son’s competitive soccer team this summer and his hockey team throughout the 2010/11 season. I will interview coaches, go on tournaments, and talk to parents and players. I will represent the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly all in an effort to show what it’s really like.
I will give it to you straight from the source. Straight from every kid’s Biggest Fan. Mom.
The Your Biggest Fan Blog Series is sponsored by Chevrolet. All content is true, based on Jen’s personal experience.