Ah, yes. Traveling to the beach over the holidays is such a treat. And it is, the majority of the trip was a joy. But when you have a spunky 7 year-old along for the trip you just never know where the fun may take you next. I know every mom can relate to the things we do for our kids kind of embarrassments like picking boogers out of their noses or wearing slime (or worse) on your shirt or apologizing to strangers for a “why is that guy so fat?” kinda comment. We’ve all been there. Motherhood is, after all, the sisterhood of the embarrassing moments. But in my opinion, this one trumps the rest.
My kids are really good travelers for the most part. They are patient at the airport, able to entertain themselves on the flights, and interested in the scenery out the window as we transfer to our final destination. But despite my best preparation (and a lot of snacks) there are always unexpected challenges.
On our latest trip during the holidays to Bahia Principe San Juan in the Dominican Republic I was faced with a dilemma, “do I embarrass myself or do I let my daughter poo in her pants?” Of course you know which one I chose in the end because the embarrassment and mess factor seriously rise if a 7 year-old has a #2 accident on an airplane.
Let me set the stage for you here, folks:
We are about 2 hours into our 4+ hour flight. My daughter has been calmly sitting with her pre-teen pal, my son and his buddy are playing DS, and I am relaxing in my seat reading my book. But all is not as calm as I had thought because only moments later my little girl comes up to me, red in the face, and exclaims that she has to go to the bathroom. “Well then go” I say and turn back to my book. “But I can’t,” she exclaims, getting redder by the moment and wiggling up and down. “I have to go poo.” Seems simple enough, doesn’t it? “So, then go.” I say with a sense of urgency as she begins to cry. “Go or else you are going to have an accident.” To my surprise, this results in even more tears and a head hung in defeat.
After much questioning and a feeling of desperation and panic begin to rise in my gut I find out what the problem is. My girl has been to the bathroom, about 6 times in the last half hour, but she hasn’t done anything because she is somehow convinced that you are not allowed to poo in a plane’s toilet. Easy! I think. “Of course you can! So, off you go.” Nope, not good enough. And by this time she is turning purple. To my chagrin she informs me that the only way she is going to believe that she can use the facilities for #2 is if I (not her) go and ask the flight attendant if it is OK to poo in the plane’s toilet.
I admit, I hesitated. Because the deal was not as simple as that. Not only did I have to ask the flight attendant but looking at the packed plane I would be announcing to the whole cabin crew, the passengers seated nearby as well as all of those in the line that poop was about to be going down in the airplane bathroom. And the clincher? My girl would NOT let me tell the flight attendant that it was actually she who wanted to know. But of course not! That would be too embarrassing. Ugh.
So, as I walked to the back of the plane hanging my head in shame I wondered how exactly I had gotten here. I used to have some self-respect. I used to travel with dignity. But not anymore. Not since the flight when my 2 month-old baby vomited breast milk on the business man next to us. Or when I was so frazzled traveling alone with a crying child that I dumped all of my bags on a man while trying to get something out of the overhead bin. But, silly me. I thought those days were over. I had gotten over confident. I thought I was passed all that. So this was motherhood’s way of bopping me over the head and laughing in my face. Reminding me that this gig is a permanent one.
So, of course I did it. I walked up to the flight attendant and said in a voice loud enough for my 7 year-old to hear from the back of the line, “I just have a quick question. It’s OK to poo in the toilet on the plane, isn’t it?” I am sure I detected a snicker through her look of embarrassed surprise when she declared at the same volume, “Of course!”
And despite my wishing it, the floor did not swallow me up. So I held my head high as I returned to my seat. Mommy’s job was done. My daughter’s dignity strongly intact and her trip to the bathroom behind her she quietly enjoyed the rest of the flight. As for me? I felt the burn of embarrassment and eyes boring into me for a while until the 10 year-old girl sitting across from us had a series of full-on temper tantrums, far trumping my moment of embarrassment.
Hopefully that is it for embarrassing moments for a while. Just so I feel better, do any of you have any to share?
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That is a hilarious moment, as I’m at work, laughing out loud, I say KUDOS to you. I don’t think I could have done it without bringing my son into it. You’re wonderful!
Just seen on the news about Haiti – very sad, my prayers are with them.
you’re a good mum, respecting your daughter’s feelings like that. i think she’ll really respect you for that. as for me…. i left my pride in the bin with my placenta 7 years ago and haven’t bothered with it since 🙂
Too funny!!! I don’t have any stories to share yet, my 8 month old son & I are going on our first flight next week. But, sounds like I have lots to look forward to!