I’m sick. I’m drippy and chilly and sleepy and irritable. And it’s your kid’s fault.
Ok, maybe not YOUR kid, but the one who sits across from my desk. The one who was coughing and sneezing all week but who insisted he was fine because his mom told him he was fine and to just go to school. The one who is (finally) not here today because his cold has turned into a chest infection and now he’s even sicker, along with the other two other kids in my class who are now sick, too. Unfortunately, ours is not the only class affected.
As the weather becomes colder, classrooms across Canada are once again falling victim to the usual winter-ailments, ranging from lice to stomach flu to strep throat. This annual phenomenon can be blamed partially on the weather since most kids are still getting used to dressing for the weather. Also, since kids are spending more time indoors with windows closed, germs and other microscopic pests are plentiful. But there is one other reason behind this influx of influenza: You. The moms and the dads. Not to be a finger-pointer or anything, but reflect back and tell me that there hasn’t been at least one time when you’ve sent your daughter to school when you really shouldn’t have.
Now before you get defensive, let me air my own dirty laundry: when my daughter was 3, I unknowingly sent her to school with a broken arm. It wasn’t until almost 12 hours after her initial injury that I realized something was really wrong. Another time, I sent both of my kids to school when I had a hunch they were sick. But since they both said they felt fine, I let them go. Within 2 hours, both were home with raging fevers. When I went to pick them up, the look the secretary shot me made me feel like the worst mom in the world. So now do you feel a bit better admitting that maybe you’ve been a “bad mommy” too?
We all have our own reasons for not keeping our kids home when we should: work commitments, childcare issues, embarrassment, denial, listening to our kids, and pure ignorance (which is what I am pleading for the broken-arm incident). While all of those reasons are valid, they do not justify sending your son to school when he really should stay home. Not only can he get sicker, it’s unfair to the other children (and adults) around him.
While the home-vs.-school scenarios are endless, there is a pretty simple “look-for” list when deciding what to do; if you have checked off even one item below, keep her home. Most of this list is probably common knowledge and will hopefully just reinforce what you already know:
You know your child is too ill for school when:
You don’t want her going outside at recess or participate in gym. If she is too sick for that, then she is too sick for school.
He has a fever…even a slight one. Fevers can be a fluke or they can be the start of something serious, like the flu or Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease.
Lice, pink eye, chicken pox, or anything else that is highly contagious. Even if your son feels totally fine, its just not fair to the other people. Ailments such as Fifth disease are relatively harmless for most kids but can be deadly for pregnant women. Not only should your daughter stay home, but you must also notify the school and a public health notice will be sent home. Do not be embarrassed; no one is judging you. But they will be really ticked off if you try to keep it under wraps.
He spent the night/morning throwing up…or the other thing. Even if he insists he’s feeling better, keep him home for the day just to be sure. Besides the obvious, there really is nothing more embarrassing for a kid than throwing up at school…or the other thing.
She is coughing and/or sneezing a lot: the most common reason kids go to school when they shouldn’t. Even as adults, we tend to just motor through the mucus and go to work anyways. Some of us can handle it, and some of us can’t. Your daughter may not get any worse than she is right now, but the boy who sits next to her has asthma and for him, the common cold almost always progresses into bronchitis.
In the grand scheme of things, missing a day (or two or three) really is not going to affect your son’s academic career. All teachers are flexible and understanding when it comes to tests, assignments, and other missed work. I would much rather you daughter take a few days to get better than take a test when she is sick. Think about it: could you remember who won the War of 1812 or recite the Periodic table if you were on the verge of throwing up?
I totally understand this but in my house there are strict rules about staying home. When you have kids who love it more at home then at school, you have to have some guidelines!! We need to have a fever, and I mean fever, not the feeling chilly kind, the OMG, you really are sick kind. Or, you must be throwing up or the other end. Anything else is free game!! Don’t get me wrong, I know when my kids are really sick, but my son has strep throat from October to April. I can not keep him home everytime his throat hurts. I remind him not to kiss anybody and send him on his way!!!! If I waited for the Dr. to get back to me so I can start the drugs….he would miss way too much school. On the other hand I would say that both my kids have had at least one day in thier school careers (now in grade 7 and 9) where I have just looked at them and knew what they really needed was a sleep in and day with Mom!!!! NO kid needs to be really sick for one of those!!
it’s always a judgment call on the mere colds, I think, though I think the other stuff is obvious. For me, I was a really snotty kid, and still am pretty much that way. If I didn’t go to school or work when sick, I’d pretty much miss November to April every year. Not feasible. Still, we are big on the elbow cough and sneeze, and wouldn’t send them if feverish, for sure. I find the balance hard on colds knowing how I am!
i hear you! keep them home, i say, too. i can’t imagine how you must have felt with the broken arm scenario. we’ve all been there (well, not actually having a broken arm) but i mean they moan on and on and ‘obviously’ it’s fake…then you realize it’s not. my daughter had a fake cough for a week. turned out to be pneumonia. bad parent!
if it drips, keep it home!
I try to keep them home when they need to be, but (fortunately?) I work from home, so it’s easier for me to do this than for parent’s who work outside the home. That said, I LOATHE seeing coughing, sneezing kids, with their snot all over the place, in public “kid” spaces like school and play-groups and stuff. Besides being completely gross, it’s unsanitary and disrespectful to everyone else… especially to a person such as myself, who DID keep a slightly sniffling kid home, in order not to spread any potential malaise. I know it must feel like there’s no other option sometimes… and yes, sometimes we make mistakes and send a cusp-of-illness kid to school. It happens. But, there are some people who’s kids ALWAYS seem to be sick with something, and ALWAYS seem to be at school, regardless! Ack. (And Achoo!!)
Good post, Cayla – I hope you feel better soon!