At 6:45 this morning, Pea woke up. Sort of. She was crying, this much is true, but she certainly didn’t seem to be awake. Her eyes were closed and for an entire 30 minutes, she freaked out. The kind of freak out that is usually reserved for serious injury.
Pea was, we believe, suffering from a night terror. This isn’t the first time she’s had one, but this was by far the most severe of them all. According to the internet, there are a variety of factors that will bring on such events, including a drastic change in routine, sleep deprivation, constipation, and so on.
Since we celebrated Pea’s birthday the day before, each of the above mentioned factors would apply (minus the constipation, presumably).
It’s unlikely that Pea will remember the event and tell me what she was dreaming about. So I’m taking it upon myself to describe my Top 5 potential night terror scenarios, including the action I would take as her father to ensure an abrupt stop to the event:
- Pea moves to the same street as The Backyardigans, only to have Uniqua, Austin, Pablo, Tyrone and Tasha refuse to include her in their backyard adventures due to her opposable thumbs. Dad’s soution: deny the whole gang a snack when their tummies start to growl.
- The pinata that we had at her party, which she was instantly afraid of during consciousness, comes to life and wants to hit her with a stick. Dad’s solution: light the pinata on fire and dance in the ashes.
- Swiper the Fox, the mean thieving scoundrel from Dora the Explorer, has stolen her Brobee doll and threatens to throw it in a bush. Dad’s solution: introduce Swiper the Fox to Angry the Coyote and let them sort of what’s what.
- Pea begins to suffer from the same reccurring dream as her father, during which a giant number 3 chases her through a giant, empty warehouse. Dad’s solution: pending (if you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them!).
- Pea waits in line for hours for the chance to meet Winnie the Pooh, only to have the contemplative bear leave just before she gets the chance to see him. Dad’s solution: Hire the most experienced bear trapper in the world, and force a meeting between the two… then, when the meeting is scheduled to happen, have a courier deliver photos of Pea hanging with Yogi, with a note that says “Here’s to you Hunny… and learn to spell you jerk!”
There you have it. A Dad’s work is never done. Even in the subconscious, I need to take drastic action to defend my daughter.
classic!
OK, just ask the giant #3 to divide itself by 142 and run away while it is standing there scratching it’s head… Or set it on fire.
The night terrors are hard, as are the irrational and hugely imaginative fears that can come with that age. Just be patient, and be there to comfort her when she needs you.
And it sounds like somebody watches a lot of Treehouse 🙂
that’s so freaky when that happens. there’s nothing you can do to comfort them. hopefully this was a once in a lifetime thing for you and that you never, ever move to uniqua’s street.
Hilarious!
Ahhh…you never cease to make me laugh!
Hope she has a more peaceful sleep tonight!