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The immaturity of a father-to-be

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superman.jpgNobody told me it would be this way.

There’ve been a lot of surprises since Pea was born.  Like the time she pee’ed on me for the first time while I was changing her diaper.  Or how I felt the first time she said ‘Daddy.’  Or how tough it is to leave for work in the morning, even when she is waving bye-bye from the window.
One of the biggest surprises (pun intended) has been the amount of weight I have put on since she was born.
Here’s a quote from my own mind, circa 2 years ago:

As Pea gets older, I’m going to be the buffest guy on the planet.  Every time I lift her up, it’ll be like I am curling 25 pounds.  My muscles will be ripped and my cardio will be outstanding because I will always be on the move, trying to keep up with her, playing and running about.  

My mind will be more focused and my energy levels will be through the roof.  I will be a super man… not to be confused with Superman… I have no illusions that having a child will provide me with x-ray vision and the ability to jump tall buildings with a single bound… well, maybe small buildings, but we’ll see.

Well, let’s compare and contrast that thought with a quote from my own mind, circa Saturday afternoon, just before my nap:

What the hell happened to me becoming a super man!?  I’m no super man… hell, I feel more like a prematurely aged man than a super man.  I have gained at least 10 pounds since Pea was born because we are always on the go, eating crap and garbage at every turn.  I am so friggin exhausted all the time that the yellow vitamin water with caffeine has become a major stimulant in my morning routine.

I remember thinking my cardio would be amazing because I’d always be on the go, running and playing with Pea… what a pipe dream that was!  Sure, I keep up with Pea just fine, but after 20 minutes or so I’m begging her to read a book or colour or something that requires us to remain stagnant so I can catch my breath.

EVERY WEEKEND I TAKE TWO NAPS!  TWO NAPS!  I sleep more than my child does!  How F’ed up is that?  

Now, when I see small buildings, I pray to God that there’s an elevator.  Super man?  I think not.

So, in coming to terms with this surprise in my life, I have decided to blame my young immature mind from 2 years ago.  Because in my current state, that seems the most plausible thing to do.  

Comments

  1. Carol says

    Hey Shawn, hang in there! My husband was out of shape for quite a few years after our kids were born. Once our children started sleeping through the night and were less needy his energy levels gradually increased. Today he is in great shape (the kids are 10 and 8). He goes to the gym, runs, plays cricket, and squash. Sleep is critical, it’s hard to be fit when you’re exhausted.

  2. Melissa says

    Well, I have developed rather nice arm muscles since DS has been born, he is quite heavy and loves to be carried.
    And yeah, how do you manage two naps? If I get one a month I am lucky! That is why it is way better to be the Daddy!!

  3. Christine says

    Consider yourself lucky you’ve only put on 10 pounds! Well done and kudos to you!
    Also? howinthehell do you manage to catch TWO naps!?!?!?!