My girls are kind of sick of ballet.
The classes I paid through the nose for, they are just kind of “meh” about it all and could take them or leave them.
“I don’t want to do ballet anymore, mom,” Avelyn explained. “I want to do gymnastics.”
I asked her at the start of the year which she’d prefer and she insisted on ballet, but here we are, a few months in, and neither girl is really passionate about the choice.
I am torn about what to do, though. Should I make them stick it out for the whole year, just for commitment’s sake? Or should I pull them from the class and find something they like better? I don’t want them to hop from activity to activity whenever they get a little tired of one, but if they’re not loving ballet and I’m spending a gajillion dollars and my every Saturday morning, then maybe it’s time to rethink the situation?
How do you handle your kids’ waning interest in their extra-curricular activities? Do you cater to their whims or make them stick it out?
Had to speak up for the other side here. I’d never make my kids stick it out for money’s sake or even for the sake of learning “commitment”. As an adult, I’d stop going to a class I no longer enjoyed, especially since forcing myself to continue going would make me dislike something even more than if I just said goodbye on good terms. I respect and support my children’s changing passions the same way, and I love that my parents let me hop from lesson to lesson throughout my childhood. I got to try a lot of different things, I’ve grown up to have different levels of interest in each of those things, and I was never made to feel that I had to do something I had changed my mind about just because money was involved. Why teach a child that it’s a bad thing to change your mind? I don’t think kids learn much when they’re forced to do something they’ve clearly stated they don’t enjoy, and we underestimate them if we think that letting them quit something will make them entitled or selfish, or whatever.
Childhood (and adulthood, and life) is too short to be spent doing things you hate.
I agree with most of the other comments. I remember not wanting to go to a program I committed too as a kid and my parents made me go because I had committed to the year – I am glad they did it! I really was just being lazy and wanting to stay home.
I also agree with Maggie and ask her why she doesn’t want to go – is she getting picked or is she just bored? I remember begging my parents to change schools because I was being picked on by teachers (not even students) and my parents not letting me change – stating “in the real world I would have to deal with some awful bosses”.
Ask Her why she doesnt like it. Talk to Her. Then You will know, why and You will understand her, and she will understand you. Write on the piece of paper arguments for “GO” and “STAY” and talk again.
My son is 4,5 and 3rd year at ballet, but we had crying, when I asked why? He said: because my sister is having muffin while I am at ballet, and I cant go!!!!!Now his sister is 3year old and 1st year taking ballet, after that both are having muffins!!!!!!!
Ok. So I am writing this with my mouth full since I am now eating my words. My daughter signed up for Hip Hop at lunch and hates it and I was making her do it anyways…until today. Apparently the eco team now meets at the same time so I am allowing her to quit and join the eco team instead…
I think that if they hate it that much and there is a replacement or a “something better” to do, then its ok.
Does ‘the rest of the year’ mean until December or until the Spring? If it’s December, stick it out; if it’s spring, stick it out until December, then quit. They’re just little, so they’ll get as much value in the short stick-it-out lesson as the longer one. If you’ve already paid, it’s a sunk cost and making them suffer in something they’re not enjoying is not going to bring any more value to the money you paid out. We love a lot of the Parks & Rec programs because they’re short and give a good introduction to an activity/sport without a huge time or financial commitment.
Although I agree with the posts on sticking it out and learning about commitments, you should ask the dance studio if you can switch them to a different program if you have already paid for the full year program. Maybe hip hop, jazz or something else, especially if they are 5 and under.
I am the owner of Just Ducky and one of the reasons we run programs that only run for 8 week sessions is so that kids can try a variety of programming and decide what they like. Having to commit to a year long program for children under the age of 5 is tough. I have 6 & 7 year old girls and it would have been a very long soccer and hockey season if we had done it for the whole year vs. a short fall/winter season.
The weekends are busy and short, it’s not worth increasing the family stress level over.
If they were older then I would probably say stick it out – but they are like 3 and 5 right? I have a four year old and I figure activities at this age are really more for our amusement than theirs anyways.
I’m with everyone else: stick it out. Its all about following through with your commitments.
We would stick it out. Every situation is different, but when I went through this with my daughter and soccer I really think she had a better understanding of commitment by the end of it. The lesson was a bit more expensive (and exhausting, and time consuming, and sanity fraying) than I would have liked, but she does invest herself more in chosen activities now because she knows she will have to ride it out until the session’s end.
Ugh. I hope it all gets less frustrating for you all soon!
I think it’s best to stick it out, but if it’s a total misery for everyone, then maybe it’s better to quit. But, I wouldn’t look for a replacement activity (unless you can “switch” and not pay for something else) until the time has run out on the other activity, like in the spring, or whenever ballet lessons would have been over with.
Uch… sorry, sistah.
My daughter begged to take ballet and after 1 1/2 months she said it wasn’t as fun as she had thought it would be and wanted to quit. I explained we had signed for a full year, so she was committed to a year. Once the year was over, if she didn’t want to join again, I was fine with that.
The year end recital happened and she LOVED performing! She said she wanted to perform again next year. I explained she had to sign up for another year to perform in the year end recital and so she did.
This is her 4th year in dance. The girl who wanted to quit ballet after 1 1/2 months is now a competitive dancer this year.
I say make her stick it out for the full year so she learns what commitment means. Once the year is up, move to gymnastics if she doesn’t want to do continue with dance.
I believe in finishing out the commitment as well. I wouldn’t force it on them again next year, but would want them to finish out the year. That said, I do not have to live in your house. If it’s turning every weekend into misery for everyone in the family, then maybe an exception could be made 🙂
I think if we let our kids go with their every whim, we would be making ourselves crazy! Not to mention they would never learn to finish what they start.
Pick your battles… Quit.
I think commitment is a huge life lesson and a lot of adults these days don’t even possess that character trait. I don’t think that many kids at 5 necessarily know what they want nor are they able to make choices. I tend to explain that others are depending on them. If they chose not to dance the following year then that was fine but quitting isn’t an option.
Make them stay till the payments run out and then let them try something else!! Best thing we can do for our kids is to introduce them to as many different things until they become passionate about something!! And if they do not…..so what….most of our generation did not become passionate about anything until we focused on getting our kids passionate about something….Keep them active and the rest will happen naturally!!
I’m with the others. I’d make my kids stay in the activity until the paid for time is up. If they still don’t want to do it when it’s time to fork over more cash, then I’d consider taking them out. Although I have to say, I begged my parents numerous times to let me quit taking piano lessons, they let both my sisters quit but wouldn’t let me quit. I was SO annoyed at the time. But looking back they said that they saw that I had a gift in piano, and I’m glad that they didn’t let me quit. Not that I ever use that gift any more…shame on me! But I love to sit down at the piano now and be able to read music, plunk out a tune, etc. I wouldn’t be able to do that if it wasn’t for my parents not giving in to my pleadings.
If you have payed for the recital costumes I would say stick it out, those were expensive!
if i can’t get the money back then they stay is my philosophy. i also believe in committing to the whole program. i kind of think that at this age a lot of kids don’t have a “thing” so maybe by sweating it out they can really decide if they don’t like it or not. i’m just behind dance on so many levels…posture, discipline, working with others.
my youngest wanted to leave sparks but that just wasn’t happening. i tried to explain to her why she still had to go and we stuck it out. but she really didn’t want to go back the following year and i said that was okay. no problem.