She was on her thirteenth tantrum. It was 9 am. The house was a disaster, but we had left the wake of clutter and dirty dishes behind us in a harried attempt to get my eldest daughter to her day camp on time that morning. All three girls were strapped into their carseats and just as we pulled out of the driveway, she ramped up for fit #14 of the day and I LOST it. I turned my head around and screamed, “ENOUGH! It’s Mommy’s TURN TO BE MAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!” Then I yelled a few more unintelligible sentences of fury, watched my girls’ eyes widen in fear, and finally I burst into hot tears of frustration.
Why am I not better at this? Why can’t I find an effective way to deal with my two year-old’s behaviour? What am I doing wrong that she’s such a BEAST all the time? Why can’t I manage to keep my house looking less like a white-trash hovel? Why did I have three kids if I suck at this so bad? Why am I going back to work in a few weeks, if life is already so crazy? Why, why, why?
Not my finest hour today, to be sure.
Ever have those days?
I sometimes think our finest hour is when we realize that was not our finest hour.
We all have them for sure (see above and throw me in too). Makes us human and fairly cut out for the world’s toughest job, right. xn
Oh Amanda, you are so not alone here, as you have read in your comments. My oldest (of 3, when he was 3) used to drive me batty just like you are feeling sometimes. There was more screaming from me and crying from both of us than I thought humanly possible. Besides some helpful therapy for him, and me, I found my saving grace. Lexapro.
I am totally serious. Now, I am a mom to three, busy kids who can still drive me batty with their sibling fighting, but it is SO manageable. I do NOT feel like the failure that I used to feel. I can smile. I can enjoy time with my husband without being irritated. I can enjoy my now 7-year-old (in spurts) when we are alone instead of thinking about how crazy he can drive me.
Really, I highly, highly recommend it. Lexapro. Wonder drug.
Cheers, and hang in there. You’re kicking butt.
Carrie
All the time, honey, all the time. We’ve all got our limits, and kids are experts at pushing them. Not to say we lose it with impunity, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing for them to know when they’ve crossed the line, as long as there is some repair applied to it after the fact.
Dude, you don’t even know… but this too shall pass. I mean, it has to. Either that, or I’ll have to start killing kids around here.
You’re doing a great job, lady. It’s an impossible job, and you’re totally doing it – even if it only feels like “juggling” a lot of the time. Don’t worry about the house (says she, with the seriously imaginary OCD problems) because the children are here to trash it, and every day is a losing battle anyhow. Ack.
Pass the wine, sistah.
ummmm…grabbing on to their face and screaming “i will not be treated like garbage!”…does that count?
that’s when i whip out “little house on the prairie” and talk about the whuppin’ behind the woodshed. you guys got it good! 🙂
Ashley, I laughed out loud at your ‘too much wine comment’. Haha! Manda, we ALL have those moments as mothers. One of my worst moments was in a car on the way to swimming lessons in Summerland. And that one time…in Save On Foods… Remember that? Brutal. I guarantee you she won’t always be such a beast. My Beast is so sweet and helpful now that she’s seven. Yeah, you may have to wait that long…but it will be worth the wait. Love you.
Aww…always a fun way to start the day. You are definitely not alone. I think they need to gradually learn limitations and respect and empathy for others, so if we show how their behaviour makes us feel occassionally it might even be a good thing. I know when I am driven to that point of yelling I feel awful and usually cry too, but again, maybe it’s good for them to see we have feelings too once and a while!
Hang in there mamma:) xoxo
Yup. Often. Was almost in tears today actually. Outside of superstore. You are a great mom, wife and friend.
I feel for you!!! You are not alone!! Big hug! There are times I lock myself into my bedroom for “mommy” time outs because I feel like screaming and rolling around on the floor like my 2 and 5 year olds!
You had more kids because you had too much wine that one time….just kidding. You had more kids because you love them, because you have the heart of a mother, because you were totally made for this job – it’s why you cry. If you didn’t have a mother’s heart you wouldn’t care if she wailed and behaved like rabid animal (Audrey has perfected that skill currently), you’d laugh and say “Oh well, kids”. But instead you want her to be a good human, who knows how to cope with her straw being pink not yellow at the restaurant in a calm and collected manner – so it matters.
You’re great at this, and before you know it all your girls will be past the horrors of tantrums and it’ll be better. Or they’ll be 16 and then we’lll al be wondering where we can buy chastity belts in bulk.
Ohmygod, DO I HAVE THOSE DAYS. Yes. Last Friday I made my five year old choose three of her own things to throw away because she had descended into another frickin’ tantrum – this one involving shoulder-ramming her bedroom door and throwing hers stuff around – and I had enough. I love the idea of calm, rational convo with The Shrieking Thrashing One…. but, c’mon now. She needs to know I have my limits, too.
You’re doing the best you can. Really. I mean, when is life with kids ever NOT crazy? Tomorrow will be a better day.
Awwww, Amanda! Hugs!!! I hear ya on sooo many levels! More than I wish I did, that’s for sure!! Baby #3 is on its way over here and I have most definitely had days where all I can think is “Why in the world was I so insistent on having THREE? It’s hard enough as it is with just two!” and half the time, that’s on a day when the one-year-old is being a little angel and it’s just the 3-year-old acting up. All I can keep telling myself is, I can survive this just once more. One day it won’t be like this anymore!! Hang in there! We all have to STICK TOGETHER!!
I’m pretty sure that I just strapped my flailing 3yo into her car seat (after she flipped her lid when I offered to buy her the wrong puzzle in the toy store) and fumed something similar… why don’t you appreciate the little things I try to do for you??
Sigh
I’m sure that when she is 13 I will miss her little 3yo self because things will seem so much different and probably harder.
I guess I should go snuggle her now while I can…
“Ever have those days?” ????
Are you kidding me?
ALL
THE
TIME
You are not alone. You are doing a good job Mama. Nothing wrong with letting them see your emotions get the best of you. You’re human.
((hugs))