“Did you just say that Karenna* still has a bottle when she goes to bed?!” my friend asked.
“Um, yes,” I confessed, unsure if she might decide against a friendship with so heinous a mother.
“Oh, GOOD! My daughter still does too and now I don’t feel so bad!” she laughed.
Crisis averted.
When it comes to motherhood, there is far too much pressure to have your children pressed into a perfect little mold that has them successfully potty-trained, with no bottle/soother/thumb-sucking habits, and mastering their second language all by the time they’re two years old.
I think we need to let kids just be kids for a while, and if that means they like their soother when they nap, or they crap their nappy until they’re three…that’s OK! Every kid is so different and I don’t think we need to push them to be more developmentally advanced than they naturally are.
Granted, I am a fairly laid back mom when it comes to things like this and would rather focus my efforts on training them to be polite and kind and respectful. If the diapers and bottles linger a little longer, I’m cool with that.
What about you? Did you prefer to get rid of all the “baby” things with your kids as quickly as you could or are you tucking in a closeted bottle-sipping two year-old at night, hoping your friends don’t ask about it?
*She’s two and a half. Judge not, lest ye be judged. 🙂
My first son had a bottle at bed until he was 2, and at 4 1/2 is still getting milk at bed via sippy cup. OH, and he slept in our bed until he was 4, and currently sleeps in our room in his own bed. Lets just say, those are things that we chose to do, but that i chose to not ‘advertise’ to others b/c i was embarrased. He still loves to cuddle in our bed at night, and i’m going to let him cuddle with me for as long as he wants, because i know i will miss it one day.
My son is 21 months. He is nowhere near potty trained, although he is getting better at letting us know when he is getting ready to go. He magically gave up his paci right around his 1st birthday, but he loves his bottle. He will drink from sippy cups in the day, but come bedtime, he loves that bottle. And I am totally OK with that. Will I let him be having that bottle when he is 5? No. But he is still a baby for pete’s sake! His Dr. is always asking, so I lie, b/c I feel like it is my choice and not the dr’s choice, and as a lot of people have mentioned, all kids are different and ready for certain things at different times. You go Karenna and Amanda! (And now I feel much better about things in our house too!)
I’m totally into the child lead weaning, potty training, learning etc. To the point where I wish I could unschool! We had no struggle at all. But alas I can’t so oh well.
There is plenty of evidence to support not pushing children beyond their developmental stages (if you need or want it – but we know what are kids are ready for).
I haven’t seen the pics of Suri with the pacifier but I do have to admit I don’t approve of heels on a toddler/preschooler. Think Toddlers & Tiaras.
Amie I love you….thanks for that….My guy is still blanket dependant, refusing to potty train (although somedays he gets it somedays not…) and I frankly wish teh daycare would just give it up for the time being. I’ll fully admit here I did go ‘whatttt’ at the pics of Suri Cruise this week using a pacifier….but you knwo what – my kid never wanted one and isn’t followed by paparazzi so who am I to judge???
Did you just say Karenna sat on her potty, infront of Dora on the laptop (because you want other stuff on TV,) eating sweet potato fries??? NO??? Oh, because that would have made me feel better about how this evening went 🙂
With my first, the bottle was gone the day she turned one, potty trained and no soother before my second came, she just turned 2. I didn’t want 2 in diapers but she was also more than ready. With my new baby I won’t be so strict about the bottle but the potty training is where I draw the line, no big kid poops!
I dunno. They both potty-trained around age 2ish… she’s a thumb-sucker and blanket-needer… he had none of these things. I’m just happy she seems to be out of the pull-ups (on her own) but only due to the relief in the expense – not because she was “too old” for any of that. Maybe because they’re fairly “on par” I haven’t worried about it. Though, I doubt I would have anyway… there are SO many other things… important things… but I get it when people sometimes get squirrely. I wish they didn’t.
You’re a good mama, Mama!
We’re fairly child led as well. We don’t have any horror stories involving soothers or potty training. When they were ready – it was easy.
Cam weaned himself from the breast at 12 months – my milk change drastically as I got pregnant when Cam was 9months old. He never took a soother and he toilet trained the month he turned 2.
Cuyler weaned at 10 months and had a soother til he was over 4. His speech path told us not to worry about it as it was meeting an oral motor need. He toilet trained right before he turned 5. It took less than a week which is great for a kid with autism. It was a piece of cake – but he was ready.
Eva breastfed for 15 months. She got rid of her soother last summer when she was 3.5 and she toilet trained at 2.5.
Kaylie had a bottle at night until she was three and a half. I don’t remember how old Liliana was, but I think it was about 18 months. Her choice. I agree with you, I’d rather have a polite bottle-drinking kid than a nasty bottle-less kid.
I’m a big fan of the child-led school of weaning, learning, potty-training, etc. It’s just so much less stressful for everyone, that way. My daughter stopped using a pacifier at 14 months because the one she loved was discontinued and she refused to take any other. Three very horrible nights later, she finally settled on her own, without it. We would have MUCH rather waited until she was ready to give it up.
Also, letting your kids take the lead gives them the opportunity to surprise you. My son was fully potty-trained by 18 months. He was interested in the potty just after he turned one, so we got him some waterproof trainers and big boy gonch and he more or less took care of it on his own. It really does happen!
Kamryn (my 3 year old) just gave up her soother about a month ago and she had a bottle before bed until she was two and a half ish. And potty training didn’t take until about a month before her 3rd birthday – girls are easier to train my ass! Whoever decided that didn’t have boys to train first!
So don’t feel bad at all!