Being a mom is tough work sometimes. There are endless needs to tend to, a barrage of challenging phases our children subject us to, sleepless nights and “what-the-heck-is-your-ISSUE?!?!” tantrums. I think that we, as mothers, all seek out little shards of sanity wherever we can.
I turn to caffeine, writing, the internet, and simple carbohydrates when the going gets tough. Sure, there are worse vices than retreating to my Facebook status for the 79th time of the day, Diet Coke in hand, cookie crumbs littering my keyboard, while I try to find my Happy Place amidst the chaos, but I don’t always feel good about needing an escape. I am really making more of an effort to be fully present in each moment, and while I still have a long way to go in this regard, it feels nice to truly feel each part of my day, even the ones with the shrieks of angry children rattling my inner peace.
There are definitely certain areas that I have chosen to let slide, though: my house is a complete and utter disaster, and I don’t mean that in a cute, self-deprecating way. I have fairly low standards when I comes to housecleaning and even I am grossed out by the clutter and chaos lately. I guess I have resigned myself to the fact that this season in my life is crazy and that spending a spare moment reconnecting with a friend or taking a 20 minute nap is worth far more to my sanity than a sparkling toilet bowl. Do I wish my house were cleaner? Sure. Do I wish I weighed 112 pounds? You betcha! But neither of those dreams are going to be a reality for a really long time and I am OK with that.
That being said, most people who don’t know me assume I have my act together. That’s because whenever I leave the house I make sure my hair is done, my make-up is in place, and I have a great winter coat that makes any outfit I wear look good. I totally LOOK like I’ve got my life under control and people are always asking me how I do it. What they don’t know is that I haven’t washed my floors in three weeks, my bed sheets are crunchy, and we ate frozen pizza for the third time this week. If you look good, people assume the best. So, that’s how I do it all: I don’t! But I give off the deceptive illusion that I do. Ooo, so crafty!
What do you let slide? And what are the little vices that help you through the day?
My house with one child was meticulous. I finally was home long enough in the day that I had time (too much in fact) to fuss about and sort and organize. Now (with 3 boys)…it’s never clean enough. I can keep it relatively tidy in the main living areas, but don’t you dare try to open a closet or step into the basement!! That is so out of character for me though, as I grew up in a very neat house and prefer it that way.
To keep some sanity in the chaos, I start my day with a shower, get dressed (no sweats), do my hair and makeup…all before taking the kids to school. That motivates me to get on with the rest of my day and have time for errands, dishes, etc. right away in the morning. I also try to limit clutter so I have less to dust and clean up! If the kids aren’t playing with it, or I don’t need it around, I pack it up and hide it, so it’s less to worry about. There are just certain things that matter more at this stage…like having meals planned and ready, lunches, time for homework, clothes cleaned and that fit etc.
What do I let slide?? My ensuite is usually a yucky mess, my sheets only get washed maybe once a month?? My fridge and oven get cleaned once a year. My floors get washed maybe once a month and ya, you get the picture…lots. One day my house will be pristine. But for now, at least it’s homey!
only 10 months so she’s just starting to walk and get into trouble. but i nannied in the past, and when you’re getting paid for the job you seem to get more done, i find. maybe our husbands should pay us! haha.
i find staying out of the house for long outings goes a long way in keeping it clean!
How old is your baby, Angela? I’m just curious – I used to have a similar schedule before my one and only child started moving a lot… you’re a rock star!
Yep, I’m with you on the bed sheets and floor and simple carbohydrates. I do the less than healthy meals that Amy mentioned, but there is always reachable fruit for the little ones and they can get their own water from the jug now. Yay! Pretty soon they’ll be getting me breakfast! I need to know where you got your coat from though, cause I can’t say that people ever ask me how I keep it all together! I’m pretty sure that it is obvious that I don’t, so I’m going to have to go get myself a coat!
weird. i’m the opposite. i can’t relax enough to even check my facebook with diet coke in hand ( of course) until my house is spotless. i have a rigid routine and i love it. just a few ‘tasks’/ day keep my house tidy and clean and my sanity!
mind you, i only have 1 child. talk to me when i’ve got 3 kids running around.
if i let one day slip, it seems like its impossible to get caught up!
starting with quickly showering, putting away laundry and unloading the dishwasher before baby wakes up in the morning., then 1 morning task, 1 afternoon task each day for the week:
monday: vacuum, playroom
tuesday: dusting, living room
wednesday:laundry ( load of diapers), mirrors and windows
thursday: vacuum/ wash floors and bathrooms
friday: laundry, kitchen. also: clean car and get groceries
saturday: outdoor chores, bedding, tidy master bedroom
sunday: laundry ( diapers), clean nursery
ahhh… diet coke. how early is too early to crack one open??
I think it is quite possible that we are the same person. I put on a pretty good “face” when we go out in public, I make sure the kids and I are clean and dressed but at home? Whole other story, there are days that Chase wears the same pajamas two nights in a row simply because I never bothered to dress him that day. And my idea of picking up my house is to get out my three laundry baskets and collect clutter, then it sits in said baskets for at least three weeks while I haphazardly put things away. You’re right though, there are more important things. I think we both really are just fine.
I’m with Natalie – my house is a mess and I never wear makeup. I wear the same thing for days at home too but I try to never leave the house in lounge pants. My vice is checking my e-mail, FB and Twitter so I feel some connection to the outside adult world. I’m starting to feel bad about that though – I don’t want my kids to think that my iPhone is more important than them.
Um, my house is so cluttered and I never wear make up. I wear the same thing for days (at home) and my vice is Dr. Pepper. I cannot live w/o Dr. Pepper. I do have to take a bath every night though. If I don’t, I can’t calm down from the day. I’m pregnant with #2 and for some reason i have been on a de-clutter mission for a few months (nesting much???), so my house is getting better…but give it a few weeks with new baby, and we will be back where I started.
you know what’s weird? I’m the total opposite. I’m sitting at work right now in my glasses and ponytail because I couldn’t even be bothered to put my contacts in – OOH and I didn’t shower (it’s too freaking cold). BUT my house is totally picked up – as soon as I had Will, clutter started driving me nuts so my new rule is the house is picked up (not cleaned) every night before I go to bed. What the frig is wrong with me…could this be why I’m single???????????
This is so me. I can pull myself together for the school pick-up but at home I let it allll slide. The tricky part for me is it really bugs my hubby. I keep telling him it won’t always be like this, but he’s not so convinced. People ask me how I do it too, and I assure them that I’m often grumpy and if you come over unannounced – keep your shoes on!
Oh lady, I’m with you on making things look relatively normal on the outside. Totally. Makeup and sugar are my favourite things. I don’t think I’ve actually washed my floors in a year (spot-wipe, maybe) but I totally go for the laziest way possible in all things, just to make the outcome look as seamless as possible. This means no flat sheets – duvet covers only – so bed-making (when I do it) is easy. This means sometimes only changing a few pillow cases instead of stripping the whole bed. (I loathe changing the sheets SO HARD!)
Wine is such a good leveler. Heh. 😉
I read a lot. And I probably drink too much. And I get the heck out of the house whenever possible. Without the kids is better. I go to the movies with a good girlfriend at least twice a month. I blog. I read blogs. I comment on blogs.
Sorry about that blank comment up there. My fingers got ahead of my brain.
I am so happy to hear that I am not the only one out there who thinks these things. You are a girl after my own heart. I check fb way too much, but that’s my decompress time.
I have learned a few secrets to looking like it’s all together. I put everything in baskets, closets, drawers, etc. So when I need it to look clean (for my sanity or for someone looking to buy our house) it can appear to be clean. We have eaten way unhealthy foods lately, but I throw in oranges and grapes for snack…doesn’t that equal everything out?
I am also learning to spend more time enjoying my daughter, being in the moment with her. She is fun, so it’s been a blast to hang out with her.
Thanks for keeping it real for those of us who feel the same way!
Diet Coke has always been my vice. Je t’aime Diet Coke!!! I can’t wait til I’m not pregnant and get to drink it again.
I always leave my sheets and towels unwashed. So gross. It’s just so much work to remake beds. Also, I say I make my own chicken fingers. But I don’t.
I laughed out loud at the cookie crumbs in the keyboard comment because I don’t think I’ve seen my keyboard has ever NOT had crumbs squished between the keys.
What do I let slide? My floors. Big time. I sweep daily, sure. But I let the grime build and build and the jam drop on the floor collect a mountain of dust and hairs before I wipe it up. Because no one ever really looks down, right?