My hair is too short and my roots are atrocious and the zits keep coming and the thighs keep growing and the boobs get longer and my waistline disappears. When I catch at glimpse of my shadow or reflection I am taken aback and wonder, “Who is that large woman?” and sometimes I get scared I’ll look like this forever.
I know there are some women out there who love being pregnant, who have never felt sexier than they do when their belly is round and their fertility is on display for the world to see. I am not one of those women.
And there are some husbands who find the pregnant body irresistible and can’t keep their hands off their partner’s burgeoning belly. My husband is not one of those men.
We both kind of view pregnancy as something to be endured, rather than savoured. Yes, I am amazed by the miracle of life and the strength my body demonstrates in supporting that life. And getting a baby at the end of this journey is the most fantastic reward we can imagine.
My self-esteem is rather fragile during this time and I know it’s a combination of hormones, fatigue, and too many cookies that leaves me feeling kind of homely and ugly and ready to get this baby out of me so I can feel a little more like myself again.
Did you love being pregnant? Or was it something you viewed as a (fat and uncomfortable) means to an end?
Well, I felt absolutely hideous the whole way through both my pregnancies. I had bad skin, swollen feet, greasy hair, and a whole lot of extra weight that I did NOT carry well. My belly was massive the first time around, and got even bigger the second time around. Add that to the constant grumpy look because my back hurt and I was ehxausted and/or nauseous, and the fact that I always had a stain on the front of my shirt from dropping some nameless splat of food – who knew a belly could get in the way so much, and well, it paints quite the picture. I hated every minute of it, but still wouldn’t trade it for the world. It gave me my beautiful children, and the whole experience changed who I was as a person for the better.
You know how when you were pregnant the first time and you mentioned you were expecting and someone would exclaim “wow! I didn’t even know you were pregnant, I would never have guessed!”. Well the first time around I naively took that comment as a compliment, now on the 3rd go around I cringe when people say that because all I can think about is how fat I am and how long it is going to take (if it ever happens) to look slim and pretty again, and the reason they can’t tell that I’m prego is because I’ve had a bulging gut for the last 5 years, where the only time it’s been firm is when it was distended with child!!!! gah!! sorry for the run on rant, but yuck already!!!
On the keeping things positive front: I stopped by the local library and found a cute and funny and up beat book that actually gave me a place to start to make my self feel pretty in some areas of my appearance if not all. It’s called Frumpy to Foxy in 15 minutes Flat, by Elycia Rubin & Rita Mauceri. I found out I have some frump to deal with (shocking I know!), but I also have some Foxy hanging out in my little style world (oh yes I do!!!!) Things like: I have cute shoes, so there! I have one pair of boot cut maternity jeans that aren’t holey and don’t have the belt loops broken from constantly pulling them up; they look great with my knee high boots (which I spent a small fortune on and have vowed to wear as often as possible, tottery though I am). I have a huge cache of skin product samples that my gorgeous esthetician sister keeps sending my way, that I keep saving for a time when I really need it (crickets chirping, doe eyed blinking) I guess now’s the time if ever there was a time duh!! Anyway this little, slightly out dated book (copyright 2005) has given me a lift this month, we’ll see if it carries me the distance. Watch out world I’m one Foxy Mama!!!
I’m exactly like you. I didn’t exactly hate my pregnancies, but I didn’t enjoy them either. It was just a means of getting the end result. Of course, the miracle of birth was amazing, as were the little signs of life (kicks, hiccups, movements) brewing inside.
May I say a word about pregnancy. All those married women out there that are able to conceive are the luckiest women in the whole wide world. There is no such thing as feeling UGLY when pregnant. Being pregnant is such a gift. All you need to ask is the 12 to 15 % of women who, for various reasons, are not able to conceive. Most would give their lives to be pregnant. To me a pregnant woman is always glowing and beautiful as she looks forward to the pot of gold (baby) at the end of the rainbow. I personally know several women who have never and will never experience that joy. I count myself blessed to have experienced that joy.
Definitely a means to an end. I think my husband found the first few months of pregnancy sexy, like when you’re just starting to pop and you have a little baby belly but haven’t gained too much weight yet. After that, yeah. Gross. I hated being pregnant. I was the same way… “I can’t wait to get this baby out of me so I can feel more like myself again”.
As you already know, I hated being pregnant! I don’t exactly have a healthy self esteem to begin with and then add an additional 30lbs that seems to accumulate more on my thighs and read end than it does my belly and I feel like a beluga whale who’s indulged in one to many hamburgers.
You are beautiful pregnant or not, but I totally get where you’re frustrated
I loved being pregnant. More so the first time around, a little less the second time. I have always been on the thin side…with no womanly curves…so I welcomed them with open arms!
P.S. I honestly think pregnancy looks GOOD on you! You always look so cute.
TOTAL means to an end! I have 3 pictures of me pregnant…and they are all hideous. Ugh – I’ve banished the whole 9 months from my mind… Just go back and look at that picture of you that you posted a few weeks ago – you’re gorgeous!
I did not love being pregnant. You know what I think you need? A spa day, a day to be pampered and coddled and rubbed all over with good smelling stuff. Book one today.
Or maybe book shorter sessions each week till you’re due.
Tell you Husband I said you should … who agrees?
Oh, I adore being pregnant. I am pretty small to begin with, so I felt attractive with the more curvy figure of pregnancy. And, honestly, I’m totally sad that I won’t get to experience that again.
I loved being pregnant. It was the one and only time I didn’t feel the need to suck in my tummy! However, within 24hrs of that baby coming out I was no longer beautifully round, I was just plain fat.
Honestly? I loved the first part of being pregnant, hated the last couple months.
Also honestly, I think you look AMAZING. Seriously. I really do. NOT EVEN LYING.
I get that “U-G-L-Y” feeling every day when I look in the mirror AND I’M NOT PREGNANT. I just weigh as much as I did when I was 9 months pregnant. Literally.
Well at least you two are on the same page.
I hated it too. Thank God it’s over. Also, the whole baby stage. Loved them to the moon and everything, but this whole school-aged thing is a zillion times more wonderful.
Oh means to an end all the way! Pregnancy is far from my favourite way to spend 9 months. In fact, it’s likely why we’re not having any more kids. Even though the two kids we have were totally worth my hubby doesn’t want to put up with me like that again. Heck, I don’t want to put up with me!
I felt both ways. Sometimes I loved being pregnant. I loved my belly. But sometimes I thought I was a whale and always would be.
Now that I’m through it and not pregnant (for the time being), I look back on it with positive feelings (mostly).