I love my Momma. She’s here visiting from the prairies right now and has been filling her days with child minding, cooking meals and cleaning up after her slob of a daughter. She is such a help and support to me and I am thankful everyday for the amazing relationship we share.
When my first daughter was born, my mom came and stayed with us for two weeks and made the transition to motherhood a tad less traumatic for me. She was there to moan in empathy with me when I stood in the bathroom with my anvil-like boobs leaking milk all over the floor from engorgement and I cried, “What’s HAPPENING to me?!” She did all the cooking and cleaning for those first two weeks so I could focus on my baby. She assured me that I was doing a great job and made me feel like maybe, just maybe, I’d get through those early days with a newborn.
When my second daughter was born, she came again for two weeks and she would take over the night shift with a bottle of pumped breastmilk so I could sleep for five uninterrupted and blissful hours, waking me up when it was time to feed the baby again. She ordered me pizza and played with my older daughter and was just a continual wellspring of love and support.
She is the patron saint of frazzled mothers and I love her so much.
I honestly don’t know what I would have done without her being there after the births of my girls. Sure, I would have survived, but her support was invaluable in those vulnerable days when your crotch is still ripped up and you haven’t slept in a week and you kind of feel like crying when the baby needs to eat again.
What kind of support system did you have when you gave birth? Did your family lend a hand or were you left to fend for yourself?
I love your mom. She rocks.
You are definitely fortunate!! I had my moms help for a few days the first time, followed by my in-laws for the week, my MIL for a few days the second time and nothing the third time. I have major gratitude to my hubby who would help out during the nights and take over the cooking and watch the toddlers. He always took about 3-5 days off work to be with me. It is such an exhausting experience to go from the final sleepless days of pregnancy into labor, then nursing. Your mom sounds like she totally rocks the house! So blessed! I only hope to be so helpful to my future daughter in-laws (since I have no girls!)
You are so blessed to have a mom who will travel across the provinces to help you out. I am always reminded how fortunate I am to have my mom live 20 min away. She and my girls have a very special relationship because she takes the time to make them a priority. I have friends who have to pay their moms to babysit and I just can’t wrap my head around that. My mom is there for my girls because it is something she values and chooses to do, not because it is an expectation. Our moms our truly saints!!! I hope I can be like that for my grandkids (in the very very distant future!)
My mom and my sisters were a great help when my daughter was born. They would come over to watch her so I could sleep for a couple of hours while my husband was at work, make me lunch and generally keep me company. My husband travels for work and I work outside the home 32 hours. My mom would always come by to help me with dinner and bedtime while he was away, to take some of the stress out of parenting alone for those weeks.
This time around is going to be different 🙁 My mom was diagnosed with Stage III cancer right before Christmas. She just finished a round of treatment and is (hopefully) going to have surgery soon to finish the job. She is left so very weak, unable to eat without help from a feeding tube. My sisters and I have been doing our best to support both her and my dad during this difficult journey.
So much will be different this time….. I also feel sad that I will not be able to help her as much as my pregnancy progresses and birth approaches. I simply do not have as much energy (not to mention my whale-like shape is getting in the way!) And how much help can I be with a nursing newborn???
Time will tell….
Oh I cried when I read this! My husband took time off after our daughter was born and it was wonderful. Much like Natalie and Laura, both he and I have been let down by our respective mothers. My own passed away when I was a kid, and my step-mom only has “motherly” moments when she feels like it. My mother in law has good intentions, but rarely follows through. She came to “help” for two days, but with my type of personality, it felt as though she was more of a houseguest than anything. She held the baby, but it was more laundry and dishes for me!
At a time when you are incredibly emotional and vulnerable (hello leaky boobs and sore crotch!!) of course you want your mama!! Amanda, your post made me so sad and so happy all at once. I can’t change my mom or his, but I can look forward to being that mom for my daughter when she needs me:) You are so blessed!
I had my first baby when we were out of town. My husband had to drive our travel trailer and truck home, and I had our car. My parents came to the town we were at and drove me home. Upon arrival I found out a mouse or an army of mice had wrecked havoc in my cutlery drawer and other areas of my kitchen. I was mortified and sure the health nurse who was to visit the next day would deem our home unfit and take away our new born. I was having a fit wondering how to clean my house from top to bottom and also take care of my new born. My mom calmly handed me a kleenex, reminded me that I needed my rest and sent me to bed. When I came to my cutlery and kitchen was sparkling and something yummy was on the stove. Good thing because we had about 10 people over to ooh and aah over baby that night. Thanks to my mom it was great to show off the light of my life to my company. If my mom hadn’t been there i would have been a wreck and probably given our friends something to worry about.
My mom helped out in much the same way with number two. No mice this time thankgoodness.
I’m a little apprehensive about this one as I live a little farther away from my mom now. So I’m making plans to camp out at her place for a time shortly after baby is born. Baby 3 is due right around my first born’s birthday, so I’m sending #1 with Daddy on a camping trip while #2 and I rest up at Grandma’s house. Sounds delightful to me. I wonder what my mom will think.
My mom and MIL did help out, but I have the type of personality that having someone in my house during that time of high stress would have made it worse on me. So it was just me and my husband (mostly). he did take the first month off work, and that was exactly what we needed!
I was on my own for all three. I’m glad I was very young with my first (19) because I might have been more angry with my mom if I had known better. My baby couldn’t latch on due to low muscle tone and I was adament she have only breastmilk, so I pumped and fed her by bottle. My husband took off work the day she came home from the hospital, but then worked 21 days straight.
I don’t remember my mom being around with the 2nd. My mother-in-law did come by bus to ‘help’ and held the baby for 48 hours on day 3 and 4 so I could ‘get things done’. LOL!
With my third, my family was out of town. She was due on the 5th, and had the audacity to wait until the 22nd to arrive! (please read with sarcasm, in my family’s voice) My mom was in England, my dad in Guatemala and sister in Thailand. They all gave me a week past my due date as my grace period.
Am I bitter? No. After 30 years I know what to expect from my family. They are what they are. I’m on my own, and I know it.
I’m getting married again, and we plan to have 2 babies. His mother (age 72) has offered to come from AFRICA to help out when the babies are born. I plan to model my mothering after my mother-in-law, not my own mother. 🙁
You already know the stories of my births. I just wanted to confirm that your Mom Is the patron saint of frazzled mothers. She’s awesome.
you are so lucky to have and to have had your mum there with you. she sounds wonderful. i lost my mum before i had kids. i miss her constantly but the longing was painfully present during and following the births of my three kids. I often dream of what it would be like to have had her there for that time.
to help me out, we hired a baby nurse for the first week (each time). it was great and helpful but not the same.