We are planning to find out the sex of this baby at our next ultrasound. We found out with both our girls and I loved knowing a little bit more about who they were before they were born. It gave my husband and me more time to bicker about names (that’s another story for another day, however), pick out colours for the nursery walls and bedding, and connect with the baby on a deeper level since we knew she was a “she” and not just an “it”.
Most of my friends are of the “I want to be surprised at the birth, and also I think you’re ruining something really special by finding out early, you impatient fool” school of thought, but I am way past caring about that. I NEED TO KNOW.
The thing is, where we live, the hospital ultrasound technicians will not tell you the sex of the baby. The whole ultrasound experience is very cold and sterile: the dad is not allowed in the room until the very final moments of the scan, and it’s against their policy to reveal the sex of the child. They claim it is unethical and could lead to parents deciding to abort a baby based on its sex. I find this frustrating and silly. I think the parents have a right to know and they ought to be trusted with that information. It’s not government policy to not let parents know; it varies from hospital to hospital.
With our first two pregnancies we were lucky enough to have connections with an amazing ultrasound technician at a hospital in the next town and she was so warm and informative. She let my husband be there for the entire time and she told us the sex of the baby. I think everyone’s experience should be so enjoyable.
What was your ultrasound experience like? Did you find out the sex of your child? Or do you think it’s unethical?
I can’t believe they won’t let your husband in until the end! That sounds so backwards to me.
For our first baby we didn’t find out the sex until delivery. I always thought it would be fun to wait plus it tormented our family and then we gave them the first granddaughter (in a sea of grandsons on both sides) so the surprise was extra fun. My husband didn’t care either way whether we waited or not but since I felt strongly about waiting he went along with it. This time he would like to find out for many reasons: only wants to pick one name, there will be different stuff to buy if it is a boy and nothing to buy if it is a girl etc. etc. And since it is his baby too we are going to find out and I have to say I’m pretty excited to know early this time. Most of my friends find out before hand and I can understand that – it is a surprise no matter when you find out.
I have a boy and a girl and we found out with both. This time I want to wait just so I can have something different to experience. I don’t need to prep any clothes or colors. Choosing names for both sexes is a bit more work, but meh no biggie. I’ve just felt so yucky this time that anything new and interesting is worth trying.
Regarding ultrasound experiences, we have contraband video of our 2nd baby’s ultrasound!!!! We had our camera with us, and the ultrasound tech didn’t notice that my DH was videoing when she was showing where all the legs and arms were. When she finished being informative she looked up and got all cold and mean and said, “you’re not allowed to have those in here, I might have to take the tape” to which my husband put the tape down his pants and scurried from the room! JK 😉 It’s cool to look back at the amazing footage of life on the inside. Yo! Word to yo mother!
First off, I love that you titled this ‘Hot Dog or Bun’.
I get to see both sides of this hot topic first hand at work and from all the births that I’m at. In the end we decided to wait and be surprised. It was a gorgeous moment when my husband said ‘It’s a boy!’…. but I remember being so exhausted that it didn’t really matter. It was fun letting people know…”Andrea just had her baby and…it’s a boy!” I enjoyed that part.
We were also in that group of people who waited to see the baby before we named him. Having our short list of names for both boy and girl. He was a total ‘baby Ben’ when he came out.
The funny part is how many people were SURE that we knew what we were having and insisted that we were keeping it a secret.
Will you be announcing your girl or boy baby on here?!
found out with both of mine…so happy when my first was a girl and just as happy when my second was also a girl (at least that is what they told me at our 19 week and 22 week ultrasound). We were very shocked and happily surprised when our OB confirmed (corection, comfirmed 2 times!!!) that our second was a boy at our 23 week ultrasound. Good thing we didn’t rush out and start painting the baby’s room pink!!!
I think it is one of the biggest surprises of your life but my take on it was…. it’s a great surprise at 40 weeks but even better at 20 weeks when you can go out to dinner and celebrate vs being exhausted from hours of labour and looking like something that got run over by bus.
We didn’t find out with Isabelle, the suprise was fun (except when she was born I totally forgot to even care if she was a girl or boy and she’d been out a little while before I even remembered to ask) and I saw it as a good ‘growing’ lesson for my planning/need to know everything personality but mostly Andy wanted the suprise. Next time (whenever that is) I’ve already told him I want to find out, mostly because of clothes (Isabelle had dull unisex outfits at first and I would have loved to have cute girl things ready and with being on the island it was a while till I wanted to go on an 6 hour excursion just to hit one or two shops) AND because I want to experience both.
Knew with #1. didn’t know with #2. Both ways suited us and our mindset at the time. And either option is wonderful!
I’m not pregnant yet, but I’m hoping to convince my husband to wait until the baby is born to find out it’s gender. Part of this is because I hate pink, so I’d rather have gender-neutral clothes as much as possible. And partly I just like the anticipation. We haven’t actually discussed it, but I think my husband will want to know the gender as soon as possible. I guess we’ll see what happens when it actually becomes relevant.
Our 18-week ultrasound was really special. We found out almost immediately we were having a boy and we both cried! The rest of the time we spent marveling at this little person moving around…it was awesome.
Even more awesome is that he was being a little stubborn and wouldn’t give the tech a clear view of his heart, so we get to go back again on Monday! I’m 22 weeks now, so I’m interested to see how much he’s grown.
Angie….you have 7 children? 7 children??? I’m on my knees doing the Wayne’s World “I’m not worthy” bow to you!!!!
We found out the sex for some babies, and were surprised for others. For the 3 surprises, they were all girls. For the four that we found out about it, 2 were girls. My husband found it much easier to look forward to a daughter if he knew in advance, and it was exhilarating to find out when we were having boys.
I don’t think it’s unethical to find out the sex; it’s just a preference.
And I hate your local hospital’s draconian practices!
Most people I know find out if they are having a boy or a girl, but when I have kids I don’t want to. I like to drag out the anticipation! I don’t think it is unethical to find out though … it is a choice that each couple is free to make!!
We had to know with our son. (See our great gender debate here:http://jandtwedding.blogspot.com/2009/02/great-gender-debate.html)
My husband doesn’t want to find out for our next baby. This has me a little upset. Now that I’ve known, I always want to know. I think that I’ll manage to convince him.
We found out. I didn’t want to refer to “it” for 9 months. And I didn’t want my little boy in yellow clothes (we had a girl anyway). I also didn’t want to spend weeks and months saying, “no, it’s a girl” because people couldn’t tell based on clothes.
I think it’s each parent’s decision, but I really get irritated when those who don’t find out treat me like I’m obviously a lesser person for not waiting for the surprise.
To each his own….
I had a great ultrasound experience, yet Ryan wasn’t allowed into the room until the final moments. I’m sure it was a stressful wait for him. And we found out the sex of our baby at the ultrasound. Ryan could have waited, but I HAD to know. It wasn’t so I could decorate the room or anything silly like that; it made me feel even more connected to the baby I was carrying and it made everything seem so much more real. We told everyone we were having a boy, but nobody knew the chosen name until he was born. Well, everyone except for my sister who remembered that I had once said long before I was pregnant that if I ever had a boy, I wanted his name to be Ty. And Ty it is 🙂
My experiences were nothing like you describe. The first time, my husband was allowed for every minute of every ultrasound (we had many since we were expecting twins). They continued their efforts to confirm we were having two girls, as initially they were not sure. I had one lady that pressed WAAAY too hard, but otherwise, it was great.
The 2nd time around we didn’t find out. But this time I was at a different OB/GYN and they took lots and lots of leisurely time during my appointments. They also had an ultrasound machine in-office that they were happy/eager to use, and if I wanted the doctor HERSELF would have done an ultrasound and told me the sex. As it was, she did several extra ultrasounds to make SURE I had only one babe in there this time around.
If we have another child, we probably won’t find out the sex. We’ve done it both ways, and both ways were great. However, with a FOURTH baby, I feel like leaving the sex a surprise for everyone, and the anticipation that goes along with it, would really be fun and help me get through those last few months. (I’m of the opinion that no one is as excited for you the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time around, so I’d want something for me AND everyone else to be excited about.)
I’ve had good and bad ultrasounds, but I’ve always been allowed to have the father of my baby there. That’s just dumb that they don’t allow Steve in. With Liliana, Noah didn’t want to find out, so we didn’t find out. BUT THEN! At an ultrasound at 37 (THIRTY SEVEN) weeks, the ultrasound tech gave it away even after I told her that we didn’t know and didn’t want to know. Twice. THAT is dumb. Finding out at the beginning – cool. Finding out at the end WHEN YOU TOLD THE STUPID TECH THAT YOU DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW – lame.
I think it should be the parents’ choice. This is Canada – not some crazy country who only allows you to have one child which makes people do crazy things. I’m all for people who want to know – and all for people who want to wait. Personally, I hate the wait. I want to know.
UNETHICAL TO FIND OUT? Wow.
I am all for finding out while pregnant or for waiting, whatever a couple wants, but both are right choices and it annoys me to no end when people claim you’re “ruining the surprise” or “too impatient.” Come on, like the birth isn’t special if you already know the sex? That’s ridiculous.
My gender reveal ultrasound was incredible. Mike was with me the whole time and the room was low-lit and soft music was playing and the tech did her exam with the screen facing away, so she could finish before telling us. Then, she slowly turned the monitor toward us and said, “See that?” And I screamed, “It’s a boy!”
And I’m crying just thinking about it.
It was a beautiful moment, and I don’t regret it for a single second.
With our first we did not find out, and around here it was kind of unheard of. They even put a big, neon note on my file at the doctor’s office about it so no one would slip up. I didn’t feel any need to know early for the reasons you listed – we had both girl and boy names chosen and we did the baby’s room in a bright green and white color scheme. Plus, neither one of us wanted the onslaught of gender specific gifts at baby showers. We knew we would want more kids and figured it would be best to get all the basics and big purchases in gender neutral colors. And even after our girl was born and we moved to a new house when she was 2, we painted her new room in the same vibrant green – we just loved the color.
This time around I wanted to know but my husband didn’t. I wanted to know for practical reasons…I had stored 3 years worth of very pink and girly clothes in our basement and I wanted to know if I should start sorting them for charity. I won and I have to say that while from a practical standpoint I’m happy to know it’s a boy I’m still a little sad to miss out on that moment in the delivery room when the secret is revealed.
I found out the sex of my baby after my amnio – I couldn’t wait. The technician who called was hilarious – because i’m a single woman she just assumed that I wanted a girl – when she told me it was a boy in a very sad voice – I screamed because I was so happy. She felt like a moron.
I am at 14 weeks and am sooo excited for my next ultrasound because my husband and I are having the great debate about whether or not to find out what we are having. I have never liked surprises and for me that’s a big thing.
I’m 33 weeks pregnant with our first and I could NOT wait to find out the sex of the baby ( she’s a girl! ). I’m far too impatient, and too much of a planner to be surprised at the end. I liked finding out early!