Another story of my bachelor brother and his chocolate Lab puppy. In his words-
“Last night the dog and I made out usual pilgrimage to Giant Tiger, with a stop at Factory Direct first. We needed to buy a new leash as the dog has now chewed through 9 of them. After buying the leash and securing the dog with the new leash outside Giant Tiger (I tie him up closest to the door, but not blocking the door, and so that he can see me through the windows).
While trying to sort though the very inexpensive, yet close to expiration date, Beatrice Fruit Bottom Yogurts, I heard a break in the pre recorded music “WOULD THE OWNER OF THE CHOCOLATE LAB PLEASE COME TO CHECKOUT 3” I hurried through the store, where I came upon the dog being held by cashier3 by the scruff of the neck. He had chewed through his leash again and followed someone into the store. With many apologies I took the dog back outside and examined his leash to see if I could salvage anything from the recently- spent -$16 for- 5 -minute old -leash. I managed to make a knot and tie him back up to the post, all the while quietly but vehemently applying some choice golf language, telling the dog about the valuation difference between a $16 leash and a 15c .22 calibre bullet.
He has heard these threats before. I am not sure he is taking me seriously.
I told the dog again, “STAY.” and “BE A GOOD BOY” and went back into Giant Tiger. Halfway to the back of the store and everyone glaring at me I decided to cut my losses and just go back home. I turned and left the store to find the leash chewed through and the dog nowhere in sight. I panicked and went running to the 20′ snowpile that he likes to play in, couldn’t see him, ran backwards the way we always walk home, and still couldn’t see him. I heard someone yelling at me -cashier 3 had run outside of the door to find me-and she yelled “HE IS IN HERE”. He had gone through the automatic doors by himself and led the staff on a merry chase with a $10 pair of kids mittens in his mouth. How do I know the price? Because I had to buy them. Many apologies and everyone staring at me.
I went home to take a shower. I could not understand why the dog had not followed me into the bathroom as he always does. He looked guilty when I came out of the bathroom -so I immediately looked for whatever he had done. I couldn’t find anything wrong, so I dressed and loaded up for work. I found my old Blackberry but not my very new one- so called my new one on my old one. It rang 3 times, went to voicemail but I didn’t hear a ring. After a frantic search, with the dog looking progressively more guilty, I found the brand new Blackberry.
The thing that bothers me most is he chose the new Blackberry rather than the old.
After working all weekend and having others watch over him, he punished me by eating now my old phone, and the bush outside my house.
I am starting to understand why my pure-bred papered chocolate Lab cost only $200.”
Fantastic post, I have several dogs and love them so much.
OMG! That is so funny, and the dog is still loved of course! My dog, same foolishness, and you know by the look on their face that they have done something wrong. It’s just a matter of time till you find out what it was.