The first time I took my two children, then 3 and 5 years old, to the cottage on my own for the whole summer-I got a tidal wave of reaction from other mothers- ” without help? on your own? by the water? are you nuts?” The reaction was so strong I wondered if maybe I was crazy to do this.
I got to the cottage with a carload of toys and books neatly packed in four large rubbermaid containers and unpacked them and placed them in good areas to amuse, distract and entertain. I suddenly wondered if I was going to be running, trying to save people from drowning between Heimlich Manoeuvres and breaking up in fighting. The toys proved to be of no interest. For the next 5 days my children played with the large boxes that I brought them in. They filled them with water, made forts with them, ate all their meals in them, read in them and begged to be able to sleep in them.
It is my first memory of reading the newspaper cover to cover in 5 years. In fact I felt redundant to those containers- the girls felt safe, entertained, happy and warm. I even thought about taking a short trip on my own because I wondered if I’d even be missed.
When I was a kid, private tennis lessons and overnight camp were a luxury and you knew it. Today, allowing your children to be bored enough to invent, build, dream, stare at the clouds,
mix baking soda and vinegar, make mud pies and come close to ‘losing an eye’ is the real luxury. Everything we do today is goal oriented with a badge, a trophy or a round of applause at the end of it. Many kids today cannot stand their own company because they are never ever left to their own devices. Parents are freaked that leaving their kids to their own devices might lead to a career in glue sniffing and hub cap stealing.
Letting them do nothing is a gift both to you and to them.
This behaviour is not just for the very young. But to get really good at it you must begin early and nurture it your whole life.
Oh, how I LOVE this post! I find I’m always trying to justify letting my kids do nothing, compared with the kids who are scheduled up the wah-zoo… they learn how to make their own fun this way. They figure out what they like to do… it’s important stuff.
Some time to be quiet, or off on one’s own is good for everyone. Yes.
Exactly. Let’s park those helicopters and let the kids be kids.
love your answer and it is the truth!
My response to “I’m bored” is;
“Excellent, out of bordom comes creativity”
They always run off and find something interesting and fun to do….
good thing because I’m often out of ideas and need them to pitch in on the entertain the kids part of my day 🙂
Love this post, for so many reasons. It is so important to balance all of that directed play with lots more plain old-fashioned playing. Yay, for empty boxes!
Julie-great to hear from you on this!
good to hear these ideas from a wonderful mom and a teacher! thanks Sue.
I love this! I am a big believer in “entertain yourself days.” I started doing this went he kids were little as I wanted them to be creative and learn to entertain themselves. Of course I would stage ideas- little groceries, a cash register etc. Before i knew it, they would have rearranged the entire basement into a restaurant and be dressed up with menus they had created themselves. I am finding it harder as they get older, but whenever I hear,” I am bored” I wait until they find something to do instead of planning something for them. I love those 3 words as their lives are way too busy.
I think this is so important and will show your blog to my oldest as he needs this advice more than anyone. Nice to see it in print.
you are so right. it’s amazing what kids will play with and how much fun they have with the unconventional. i’ve always said to my kids, i’m not here to entertain you, which doesn’t mean i leave them alone all the time. i like to hang out with them as well but i totally encourage boredom!