The prospect-refuge theory is an evolutionary tale which reminds us that we seek out two opposing aspects-the ability to see (prospect) but not be seen (refuge). It can save our butt from the predator, it can help us chose a cottage with a beautiful view and a dock safe for skinny dipping and can even help us in mate selection.
We starve for challenge but run from serious threat. We love mystery but crave comfort. We want a room with a view but a roof without leaks. We want to wander safely but test our strength, will and set of skills. It is the mix of these juxtaposed needs we seek that makes each of us unique.
Ever wonder why you always aim for the same treadmill at the gym? Need to sit at a certain spot in the dining room to feel right? Can only sleep on one side of the bed and hate the table smack in the middle of the restaurant? Love the window seat or the aisle? It is prospect refuge theory.
A few weeks ago I found myself arm wrestling for prospect while the host insisted on refuge at a garage party up north. His garage is a thing of beauty-not because of the shelter it offers or because it is new, but because of the fantastic view of the wide open sky and patchwork field below.There was a sliver of a moon, to the side like an impish grin, against fat pink, yellow and orange brushstrokes in the sky.
While I felt comfort in the refuge ( good music,warmth, ratio of 2:1, men to women) I was hell bent on prospect-doors wide open and lights dim, heat blaring to keep us warm. The host, dying for shelter, comfort and clearly the one paying the hydro bill, wanted us to stare at the panels of the closed garage under fluorescent mood sucking lighting.
Regardless of the footprint prospect was critical.Fortunately, he found refuge in the scotch and I found prospect doors wide open to the world.
I found the prospect refuge theory so interesting too Idas- apparently trees are perfect symbols of both in nature.
Finally a theory to explain contradictory or conflicting desires.
Very helpful to keep in mind when someone vacillates maddeningly.
Adding to my “notes” list of things to remember.