The other morning, Will asked for a picture that he drew at Jamie’s house. Let me back up. Will’s new favourite activity is drawing. Without exaggeration, every day at school, there are 20 new masterpieces in his cubby. Anything remotely looking like Scooby Doo or referencing the Scoob is saved…everything else I secretly chuck into the recycling bin. I mean how the hell can he remember them all? My mistake.
We went to leave, Will was in tears and his pants were falling off… so I said,
‘Dude how can you not remember to do up your pants, but you can remember one of 800 pictures you drew a week ago??’
This made me think of a few more kid related things that make no logical sense whatsoever.
- My kid can sleep through a
smoke alarm; an epic thunderstorm or ten firetrucks on my street BUT the
second the car turns off, the car nap is over. - That a worm ‘totally
grosses me out mom’ but picking a giant booger and eating it is considered
a snack. - That he will beeeggggg me
to try bubblegum but will wail like a banshee when I try to give him
bubblegum flavoured medicine. - He could watch 8 episodes
of Scooby Doo back to back with no pee break but put him at a dinner table
and the bladder needs releasing after two minutes. (make that EVERY two
minutes if we’re at a restaurant). - Waking him at 6:15 during
the week requires a blow horn and a crane but at 5:30 on a Saturday he
wakes up like he’s just chugged 15 Red Bulls? - My kid can barf in my face and hair and I can deal BUT have him spit some regurgitated chicken in my hand and it’s like the pie scene from Stand By Me.
See what I mean?? Insanity. Any to add? Think about it. You know you do!
In the meantime, if you need me, I’ll be in my house buried under a thousand pounds of Will’s art. (Which I need to take a picture of for you guys…he draws people and they all look like penises..I laugh because really I am a 12 year-old boy).
*And excuse me but do you see this picture and start singing Bob Seger in your head and hearing my fave movie line ever ‘Joel, get off the babysitter.’ HELP!
Though I have yet to break the cheese… I am sure I will do that one soon… my child once had a massive breakdown after I cut the toast the ‘wrong way’… apparently the taste of toast depends on how it is cut…
That’s so funny! I’ve just been compiling a “top ten reasons I’ll never understand my children” list!
You stand in front of them and say their name before speaking and they don’t hear you, but you whisper something to your spouse in a car travelling 120kph and they hear you from 2 rows away.
They scream like banshees all the livelong day but you turn the coffee grinder on and they cover their ears.
I won’t give you the full list. Suffice to say: kids make no sense.
hmmm…maybe i should rethink my last post on why i love my children…so much confusion!!! 🙂
have you seen the blog (tumblr i think) “reasons my son is crying”? reasons like, “i wouldn’t let him eat mud”, “his brother’s boots don’t fit”, and my personal favourite, “i broke the cheese.”
yes, i broke the cheese. it’s something like that that a non-parent couldn’t even fathom being such a world issue in the life of a kid but all of the parents i showed all nodded solemnly and said, “i broke the cheese once, too…” 🙂
He ABSOLUTELY looks like Tom Cruise… he just needs some tighty-whiteys and some super slippery socks. Hee!!
Wait until he brings home his friends drawings….I started taking pictures of all of Emily’s 800 drawings….the rest has been thrown out although I have to say I did save an entire diaper box of every single doodle of her brothers from JK-gr1 that he couldn’t care less about….there are days I see her looking through the recycling bin looking to see what I threw out! Arrgggghhhh….my house looks an episode of hoarders….
Sara, you need to get this great app called “Artkive”. Trust me!