So – tomorrow – I’m going to meet a guy about a thing. We’ll meet in a parking lot. He’ll show me what he’s got and if I like what I see, I’ll hand over the cash.
Does it sound like an illicit trade that may have happened in high school? Or maybe a scene from a 50 Shades knock off?
It’s not! It’s just a potential Craigslist Christmas present deal. As soon as I set it up, I turned to my co-worker and said, ‘ummm what are you doing at lunch Thrusday? I have to meet a guy in a Burger King parking lot and I’d like some back-up.’ Breathe easy everyone, she’s coming with me.
A friend and I were talking this weekend and agreeing how lucky we were to survive our younger days, given how trusting and crazy we were.
Like this Craigslist deal. A few years ago I would have said, ‘hey, come on over! Here’s my address and why not take my cell number too.’ I did that when I sold all of my furniture. I had a series of strangers in my house – all to make $40 on a book shelf.
I will also fully admit to going back to guy’s apartments in my younger wilder days. Guys whose names I couldn’t begin to tell you. Come on! A few hours of drinking and singing at the Madi makes you total BFFs!!!
I’m a firm believe in trusting your gut. It has served me very, very well over the years. I don’t regret how crazy I used to be but what makes you change? Why all of a sudden have I become more cautious? I know it has to do with Will but if I hadn’t had him would I still be picking up and throwing caution to the wind?
And more importantly, how do you teach your kids to be safe without making them paranoid? I don’t want Will to grow up in a bubble. I want him to be street smart but also to be adventurous and open!
So you parents of older kids – how are you handling this??
Will – don’t hide behind that tree! It’s just life – there’s nothing to be scared of!
oh yes the hitchhiking at Uni, oh yes the trip to Tangier, oh yes pints the Madi!Oh yes whatshisname!
I like to teach about listening to our gut because as you say Sara it serves us all so well. But when they were little, I was cuckoo – I felt the school basement had lurking pedophiles, parks had evil childless women who would take mine because they were so cute and don’t get me started on walking to school – at that point I did not fear people as much as bad drivers who pluck eyebrows, check email, eat soup and drive at the same time!
YIKES
I still like to trust though- can’t give that over to age. We need to be careful not to raise the anxious child and our own anxiety at the same time!
I think trusting your gut is the only way to go – you observe what other parents do (that helps, sometimes) but ultimately, you know your kid, and will have the best idea of what’s good for him… you’re doing it all, mama! And you’re awesome at it. xox
Sara, I’d say “trust your gut” but it seems like you already know how to do that!
Seriously, that’s been my best parenting barometer to date. I trust my gut and listen to my kids “I really want to ride my bike to school Mom!” is a pretty clear message 😉 I also look at what other parents I admire are doing/permitting. And then I make it up as I go.
You’ll know what feels right and what feels wrong. I can’t picture you being a wacko helicopter parent…just the fact that you’re thinking along these lines shows that you won’t be.
Letting the leash out is is SO hard.
Taking the leach off is terrifying.
I don’t want to be a helicopter mom, but I’m also not quite “free-range”
Yesterday after school Cam asked to go to the park with friends to play football. Of course he can.
By 5:10pm he still wasn’t home and it was dark and my thoughts immediately went to very bad places. But realistically I knew he was fine. but was he? Yes of course he is. I hope…
And he was. He walked in at 5:20.
For us, these things happened in baby steps. Like starting off letting him ride his bike around the neighbourhood. Then the next year riding his bike out of the neighbourhood. Then riding his bike downtown…
I have to give him the opportunity to make good choices. I have to let him learn from bad ones.
Talking to him about it is one thing, letting him live it is another.