Scene #1
Grade Four, Masonville Public School
Everyone comes rushing in on Valentine’s Day and stuffs little cards into the homemade boxes that we had made the day before. Some of our boxes are overflowing and everyone is excited. Two brothers who are relatively new to the school have empty’ish boxes. I remember feeling confused about it.
Scene #2
Grade Ten, Etobicoke Collegiate Institute
Representatives from Student Council come bounding into the homerooms with little pink slips representing lollipops for you to pick up at lunch. Having watched one too many John Hughes movies, I secretly expect THAT guy to miraculously send me a red lollipop – meaning ‘I love you’ – and we will become THAT couple…makeout in the caf…look cute at the formal. You know it. Well reality sets in when I get one…from my friend Kelly (thanks Kel!). I remember feeling really sad about it.
Scene #3
Junior Pre-School Room, VM Daycare
How does it go? How does it play out?
I’ve written before about my loathing of the ‘feel bad’ holidays – you know Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day – all those ones that can make you feel like you’re missing out. Thanksgiving will always be my favourite – it’s about food and thanking people. Perfect.
But I remember last Valentine’s Day when Will was one and a half and kids doing cards at school. I remember thinking ‘huh’ – it just seemed weird to me. When did you start sending cards to school? Obviously scene one taught me that ALL kids should get cards when you do send them but how about just NOT sending them at all?
Can you offer some guidance please??
My husband and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, and never have. We had our first date on February 10th, and celebrate that every year, instead. It’s actually a bigger deal for us than our wedding anniversary. (We were both VERY socially awkward in school. We might be a tad bitter about that. Still.)
Anyway, for the kids? My daughter’s 4.5, so I help her fill out cards for every single person in her playschool classes (let’s stave off the Popularity Competition for as long as we can, k?). My son is 2.5, as are most of the kiddoes in my dayhome crew. I tell my extra kids’ parents that we won’t be exchanging valentine cards, but that we’ll all do a craft together instead, and most of them follow my lead on that.
Also? Just try getting dinner reservations for Valentine’s Day weekend when you have our last name. Just try. So many hostesses and maitres d’s have laughed and hung up on me, that if our anniversary falls near that weekend I give my maiden name, instead. So cheesy!
I would have given you one too. 🙂
oh yes…call the Dr….
DR. LOOOOVE
oh dude – I say it every valentines day whether I have a bfriend or not – it’s a lame ass holiday…
And I would have given you one….:)
Before I write anything please know I am not feeling sorry for myself. That being said I was always the kid with the fewest Valentines and I always hated it. I HATED IT. BUT that being said, if you school is doing it I would check with them on their policy and if their policy is anything but bring one Valentine for each kid, I would get them to abolish it! Because making kids feel shitty because someone else’s parent is lazy isn’t worth all of the Valentines in the world. I am a spoil sport I know – its all Hallmarks ways of making money. Eeek I said it!
My kids have an “every-child” policy for Valentine-giving at school… I like that. I used to spend a lot of time making them with all kinds of pink and red stuff… but small kids don’t really care about that stuff, my kids don’t care/don’t have fun with the actual crafting anyway, so I quickly abandoned the home-made for the store-bought crappy Disney-esque stuff like every other kid gave my kids. Whatever. I’ve never loved V-day.
Same thing for me in high school… wanted… never got. I try not to let myself feel reverted to my fifteen-year-old self anymore on V-day. Ack. It’s not easy. (Poo.)
why can’t I remember Valentine’s day? Honestly. It was either so traumatic that I have blocked it out or so nothing that it has faded away.
not sure.
I don’t remember any of it. Should I see a doctor?
I always hated Valentine’s Day too. Especially in high school with the candy grams, they really did seem like a popularity contest, designed to make you feel bad.
I agree with the pps for Will though, it is about giving for the little ones. If only it could stop after kindergarten, sigh.
Last year the girls made their cards. This year I bought some and was annoyed that all of them (that I saw at Wal-Mart) have some sort of movie character on them. The girls actually got into arguments about whether it should be Dora or Winnie or Disney princesses. In the end I chose Dr. Seuss because I thought they were cooler. 🙂
I’m in university but am pretty close to a couple girls in class so I’m being a dork and making them a little something that will say something along the lines of “Friends make the best Valentines!”
We actually have lockers (like highschool…but I’m paying thousands of dollars!) so I’m planning on making them a “fancy” heart shaped magnet which they can then stick on their fridge at home when school is done.
It’s also a great excuse to procrastinate from tackinling the pile of homework in favour of getting artsy-fartsy!
😀
PS – In grade school we always hand-made our Valentines cards and made one for every person in class. Again…all or nothing at that age!!!
My girl used to bring home class lists as well. This year (grade 8) I offered to make a treat (cupcakes) For the class, she looked at me like I offered to stand in front of the entire school singing oh Canada, NAKED! How quickly they change.
Hey Ya… We got a class list from Gracie’s day care teachers. I guess they are hoping that you give a card to everyone if you choose to participate. I think I might have Gracie do some craft with me and make the cards. I told her that Valentine’s Day is to tell people that you love them…. and to have chocolate treats because, really, how could I deny her that! It is a tricky call and one that I am sure I will have to change my approach to as the years go on. I am going to make it a “family thing” and the social aspect can wait until we need to deal with it. For now… we are going to hang cheesy hearts from the Dollar Store all over the house, make pink cupcakes, say I Love You a lot ( which we do anyways), give Gracie her first pink rose from a guy (AKA Daddy), and call it a day…. And for Jackson, well…. he has a Valentine’s Day bib and all the milk and kisses he can handle. Hard to know what to do… I figure embrace it in a fun, cute, little-kid friendly way… and leave all the other stuff out of it until we have no choice in the matter…. which will hopefully be years and years away.
Our school and daycare send home lists, too, and we do cards for everyone. It’s about the only occasion all year when I go all crafty and Martha-ish, so we always try to do something a little special. I think I’m baking heart cookies this year, but we’ve done woven paper heart pouches with a chocolate, we’ve done hand stamped valentines, we did hand-painted ones when she was small – just smears, but still personal.
We get class lists sent home with each kid so everybody gets one. I like it and think it’s good spelling practice for Cuyler and Eva.
Cuyler writes out each kids name and then From Cuyler.
Eva just writes “From Eva”.
Cam does his own and it’s good for keeping him busy for about 20 minutes.
Also – I hated Valentine’s Day in high school. They would have a candy-gram booth set up and you could buy a candy-gram for your boyfriend, girlfriend or crush and have it delivered to their class in the afternoon.
I NEVER EVER GOT ONE 🙁
Depends how your daycare handles it….if they don’t make a big deal of card exchange, then it’s not going to be an issue what you decide to do. In my experience, the 4-5 year olds in my kindergarten classes over the years got more pleasure out of GIVING out the cards than in counting the number they got. The ones that didn’t have any cards to give out felt really left out. For the little ones, it’s all about the excitement of actually delivering the cards to people’s boxes or bags. I always had a centre open where those kids (and any others) could make simple cards (usually just a red or pink piece of construction paper that they could cut up and write or draw on and then deliver. For sure, when they get older, the tables are turned because they’re more aware of others and more concerned about “she got more than me – that must mean nobody likes me”. I hated Valentine’s Day too, when I was older, because I never seemed to get as many cards as the other kids. At Will’s age, it’s all about being part of the crowd on a very simple level. He will be excited about giving them out. TIP: Let him make or pick out his cards and scribble his “name” (unless he’s printing it already!) on each of them. You can then add “From Will” on them. DO NOT try to put individual kid’s names on each of the cards…..it’s a nightmare for delivery at school when they can’t read!!!
I like that ‘deliver themselves’ idea!
I am with you on “everyone gets one, or no one gets one.” These kids will have plenty of (unfortunate) opportunity to be excluded in life, let’s not start in preschool, shall we? My daughter is 4.5 and her preschool asks that you send in a Valentine for each kid (or not, no pressure to participate). They don’t even write their classmates name on them, just sign their own in the From spot. That way they can deliver the cards to their friends’ mailbags without help 🙂 The kids love it.
Her school also incorporated a lesson about the mail into Valentine’s Day and tomorrow they will visit the post office!