A week today, I’ll pick Will up at daycare, take him to my sisters, put him to bed, go home and wait for my 4am pickup to go to the airport and leave my baby for 6 NIGHTS. I know it will be amazing, I do….and I know I’m incredibly fortunate to have a sister who said, ‘go away and get some sun, you need it.’ But as the time approaches, I’m realizing that six nights is a long time. What if I get home and he’s indifferent to me? What if he develops some bizarre allergic reaction to…I don’t know…ice cream and I can’t get a godforsaken flight home from Cuba to be with him?!?
I know that he will love being with my sister and Scotty – it’s not that. And I know how much I used to love when my parents went away and left us…except for ‘that’ time…I begged my parents to let this old lady stay with us who did the same for my friends family. They agreed and left for Florida. A few hours later while we were downstairs eating dinner, we heard a thud, raced upstairs and Mrs. X was lying passed out from downing a 40 of my dad’s Dewars. (we should have known something was up since there were raisins in the lasagna). Anyway – off she goes to the hospital, never to be heard from again. And off we went to the neighbours for the week…who had a reputation for bedwetting. Enough said.
In high school my parents traveled a ton. By that point I was essentially an only child and I had the house to myself. Holy CRAP those were some ridiculous parties….and I think I would have gotten away with all of them had some moron not taken the tail out of my mom’s favourite pig and put it in her golf bag only to be found the next Spring. Ah memories. Will – take note….I know all the tricks my friend, and you will so NEVER be left alone..you know…to have ‘one friend over and watch movies’.
So what do you think? Is a week too long to leave your kid? Is it selfish to go away without them? I can take it – I had a total bug eye reaction from a couple people already….
This was taken the last time I was in Cuba with my friend Jen. To answer your certain questions: yes, I am wearing clothes and no, I hadn’t put a brush to my hair in days…it would have required me putting down my cerveza!
Hey, that’s a very helpful post. I wonder if you can follow up on this post! I would love to hear what you think of it now.
You’d be surprised Christine! I’ve stayed with Scotty for a week ….and it was awesome for all of us. Cuy will surprise you!
Erin – I’ll wish you were there too!
Amanda – I had to laugh, I’m SO hoping that Will is a total bear this weekend so I’ll be like ‘yeah dude – catch you later’…because ever since I booked this trip he’s been an ANGEL (well except for his sleep but….)
Thanks everyone – you’re making me feel great about going….well either you guys or the forecast….
I went to Hawaii for ten days when my eldest daughter was 18 months and at (what I thought was) the height of a really challenging behaviour phase (it actually ended up lasting well past her third birthday!) and it took me a full week to even really feel ready to see her again, I needed the break so badly. And I didn’t feel guilty. I was so thrilled to see her by the time we came home and she was so happy to see us, too. Enjoy the time in the sun…you’ve earned it!!
I’m not going to lie, the guilt can be overwhelming, but parents need to recharge. Remembering what it’s like to be Sara, also lets you appreciate being mom.
Go and have a blast!
You go girl! I don’t think a week is too long at all. Enjoy yourself!! I will be missing you and sending you warm fuzzes. Give your sis my number, we can have a play date if she likes:)
It’ll be great. He will not forget you and he will be fine. Have a great time!
I’ll be wishing I was there the whole time.
You’ve got my vote – go, girl! Yes, you’ll be doing yourself a great service by getting away and having some “you” time – but just think what it will do for Will! He’s going to be learning to manage without you – another boost for independence and confidence – and that’s not a bad thing! Even if he gets homesick and misses you, he’ll learn how to deal with these emotions supported by people that he knows and trusts. It’s a great opportunity for him – and you! Have a great time!
i’m a “worse” mom….my hubby and i went to disneyworld without the kids!!!
you go! you have fun! you not worry! 🙂
GO! Go! Go! You will be renewed when you return and he will be thrilled to see you. It is the best therapy EVER. Don’t look back! Enjoy!
I believe in leaving them for a break and have always done so – I was just away for two days and I always come back refreshed – wanting to listen , cook and care for my “babies”. It is good for all. I am so happy for you- this is a much deserved break- know he is in good trusted hands, that a break is brilliant and you will be a better mom for it.
My two year old looked away from me when we came home once from a 5 day trip and would not meet my eyes. She was punishing me! But it was momentary.
In my almost 10 yrs of parenting the longest I have been away is 3 nights.
I do think I’d have a hard time leaving Cuyler. I connect with him more than anyone. I know him inside and out. Know how to talk him down. Negotiate with him. I know how much pressure he likes to be hugged with…
I would worry what he would do without me, but I’m betting I’d have a harder time than him.
I long for the day when we can afford to go away, just the 2 of us to recharge, reconnect and eat an adult meal that someone else prepared.
My mom just got back from Cuba and made me promise to start saving up so Sean and I could go to the same resort. She said it was heaven.
If I could have a night to myself on a beach I would take it in a heart beat, but I have this PROBLEM – THREE KIDS and I just can’t bare the thought of leaving them with anyone – yes and that included my MOTHER…. You will miss him terribly BUT you will have a fantastic time… he has no concept of time right now – he’ll be fine and love spending time with Scotty. Have fun! Drink, eat, sleep, read, schmooze BUT remember you got Will at home waiting for you so don’t do anything to crazy!!! :oP Wish I could catch that flight with you….I’ve been doing the single mom thing for almost going on 3 weeks with dad working late and I am EXHAUSTED!!!
Hugs
c
Thanks Alice – truth – the trip itself is just a four day one – but with the flights…it’s six nights – I won’t see him for 5 days….a full week seemed a bit long for me too…
I love this – hadn’t thought of it that way as in ‘they would see it as couple time – I like – thanks!
That’s totally dependent on you, your kids, and the people you are leaving them with, I think. My option for leaving our kids would probably not be up to a week, and I’m not sure the kids or I would be, either – to me, 3-4 days would be perfect for us, but that depends on the ingredients, you know? If a week sounds good to you and your caregivers, then why worry about other people’s reactions? I know people who have done a week and loved it! Enjoy your trip.
That was such a great trip my friend. I still have this picture framed on my bookshelf. Go on the trip!! You deserve it!!
Go, go, go! Moms ALWAYs need to take a break or “time-out” to replenish and rejuvenate. And as a single mom…we have to banish that guilt. To put in perspective, if you were married, nobody would argue about “couple time”. A vacation = strengthening your foundation. If Mommy’s not happy…nobody’s happy. Have fun!!
I am so jealous of you! I have been to Cuba 3 times. Once to get married, once on our first anniversary and again on our 10th anniversary with our kids. It has taken my husband almost 10 years to realise that going away with out the kids is not a sin. 6 nights is not too long. A mother never gets a day off. Even when you are at work and not with your son you are silently worrying, or thinking about what he is doing. Being a mother is not something you can turn off. Taking some time for yourself will actually make you a better mother. You will have more patience and a better abililty to deal with difficult situations. Moms need to take care of themselves, otherwise they are useless in taking care of others!
Enjoy your trip, and when you come back you will both appreciate each other much more.
DO NOT feel an ounce of guilt…you deserve some time away and there’s no better place to get a good dose of Vit D! Plus, take it from me, a week away without the kids will be a holiday, a well deserved one. A week away in the sun with kids is a getaway from home but NOT a holiday. You may even appreciate Will’s difficult moments after you get back.
Enjoy every minute and every sip of cerveza!
1. It’s awesome that you have family to take your boy while you set park your butt in the sand with cerveza in hand.
2. A week is NOT too long… you will miss each other, but you will be back before you know it.
3. I’m so jealous, I could spit. (But I’m so thrilled for you, I could cry. For me, I mean.)
HAVE A BLAST, BABE!! You deserve the break – soak up some sun for me too, please. I’ll hug the snow for you in your absence. (No, not really.)
🙂