God it would have been so awesome to have called this – ‘Sex and the Single Mother’ – no? I wish.
So something you should know about me is this. I get sick like a man (pardon the sweeping generalizations). I whine, I moan, I’m dramatic. I’m a very bad sick person. I am blessed…and I mean BLESSED…that my child is not. I think this boils down to the fact that, for five to six months of the year, normal for my child is a nose full of snot and a smokers cough. So frankly, he just thinks this is how it is and sleeps through it and doesn’t complain.
In my life before child, I would take to my bed and sleep and medicate myself back to health. I would burrow and keep my moaning and whining to myself. But now, it ain’t just me anymore and this past week was our first where we were sick together. And it SUCKED. Badly.
Gone are the days of lying on the couch and dozing through Ellen’s monologue – only to wake up to Elizabeth’s lunany on The View. Now – it’s Greg, Anthony and the gang from 7am till 7pm. It’s wiping someone else’s snot up and your own. It’s trying to muster the energy to make something for your child to eat even if you don’t want to. It’s trying not to barf when changing your kid’s ass after he hasn’t pooped in days from all the meds. (sorry that was GROSS).
**this was us in ‘jammies all day Friday’ – one of us clearly enjoying it more than the other**
But as a single mom, it’s doing this and knowing that no one is coming home to share in your misery at night. Night time is a scary time for a single parent with a sick kid. Last week felt a bit like during my postpartum when I would wait all day for my night nurse to arrive and that would keep me going. But there was no Nadia this time, and I really did, call me a wimp, find that tough.
Thank god for my Twitter friends like Jen, who kept me a bit calm. I’m not sure what it is about nighttime that is just unnerving. Wednesday night he had a 104 fever and looked like this.. he was just fine but I didn’t sleep all night watching him and trying to take accurate temps with that effing ear thermometer.
The second thing you should know here is that without sleep I become the WORST mother in the universe. I went three sleepness nights and I had some parenting moments that I’m not very proud of over the last few days. Friday afternoon Will was demanding something downstairs and I just lost it and was yelling at myself all the way down saying, ‘how the hell will I make it four more hours until bedtime? There is just no way’ and started to bawl my eyes out. Will laughed like he was watching a freaking Judd Apatow movie. Immediately after I got a text from my sister saying she was going to take him for the night. I tweeted it and all my single mom tweet friends agreed that sisters ARE the heroes of single mothers.
Of course he survived. We were back at the doctor yesterday and I finally got some antibiotics and his chest was clear. Will slept through the night for the first time in a month last night and we danced around his room to celebrate this morning. Hopefully tonight I will sleep because I left the daycare in tears this morning after a royal rumble to get him out of his coat. One of these days the women at the daycare will stop calling me ‘that mother’.
How do you deal when you’re sick at the same time as your kids?
Oh Cristina – I feel for you. Especially because if you’re used to having someone else there to help…I think it’s worse when they’re gone. Lean on your friends – be pushy and ask for help! Hang in there! You can do it!!!!
I’m not a single mother, but sometimes I feel like one. My husband has been on business in India for the last 20 days. My boy got sick and two doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. Finally, I took him to emergency. They poked him 3 times, urine sample, x-rays, just to say “Everything is fine, it must be a bug” Sheeesh!
To make it even worst, I don’t have family here, so I rely on the free time of friends, but hey, they send nice emails, but nobody is here to help me survive.
To top it all up, I feel like the worst mother for not being 100% for my daughter. Sigh. I am not sure how to survive this.
from one single mom to another- it has always amazed me that I have never been sick when they have. I did hurt my back a couple of years ago and lay in bed in so much pain crying and crying while my 11 year old rubbed it . I called a few people but could not reach anyone- finally at midnight when I wanted to shoot myself from the pain, my mom arrived and performed some magic.
I really scared my daughter. It was a lonely moment for me.
sara so glad Will is on the upswing. xoxoxo to you
Being a sick mom, even with a husband, is impossible. There is no one to take care of you, while you are still having to take care of everyone else. Even when you are the only one sick in the house, you still have to take care of everyone else. Wait, now I’m really feeling sorry for myself. Being sick sucks, no matter the circumstances. I’m glad you’re better Sara, and just know that there are lots of us here that feel your pain. And have had the performances for the “Worst mother of the Year” award. We just don’t want anyone to think that we could seriously win it!
Take it easy, and know that you’re not alone.
that B at the daycare deserves a fistful of pennies!
you are THE best Mother and deserve several awards:)
Uch, lady. I’m so sad for you!! And unfortunately, I know the drill. It’s bad whether you’re the lone parent and both you and the child are sick, or when there are TWO parents, and everyone is sick. Suck, suck, suck. I’m so happy your sister was able to help… sounds like you’re on the mend now. Hooray for a full night’s sleep!!
Hang in there, sweets!! (And your parenting “bad day” sounds a wee bit like me EVERY day – sick or otherwise. I’m not proud… I’m just sayin’.)
Sisters are the heroes of single mothers and married mothers alike. My own have come to my rescue many times.
Last year when I had bronchitis I remember physically throwing my youngest at my parents as I sobbed “can’t you see I’m sick? I need a break!” As Ali said, being sick sucks and being a sick mom is really, really hard.
Get well soon. I hope the worst is over, but I’ll be watching for your bedtime tweets just in case.
we once BOTH had strep…like, 105 fevers, chills, shakes etc. It was awful..especially because we had two kids at the time. It was a total nightmare. Here’s the thing…being sick SUCKS. being sick when you need to still be a caregiver for someone else..SUCKS HARD. I am so sorry, lady!
My husband has been away all week skiing with his buddies (sweet revenge will be mine when I hop on a plane for a week in the UK Wed morning!) and I have missed him so much. Not for his loving embrace. NO. But for his extra hands! Doing all of the cooking, cleaning, driving, nighttime, etc is enough to drive me batty. Make it a permanent state and through sickness in the mix? You, my friend, are my hero.
Serenity now would be so much better than ‘you’re effing killing me kid’ which has been my sentence of late…
dude – I had Mr. Noodle on Friday – SAME REASON!
vacation would be nice eh? Sadly for me these days – vacation is when I come to work!
I’m sick with my youngest right now and have two other healthy kids to entertain, take to school and preschool – have to say I feel like I am at my Wit’s end… by the time my husband gets home, it’s one hour from bed time – so I am pretty much a single mom M-F… would be nice to have some help…think I am tired out and need a vacation…hard to find someone that will take all three kids from you….my sister did take my two oldest a couple of weekends ago and Brad and I lost Andrew in the grocery store!!! Imagine that we couldn’t even keep track of one kid!!! Made myself some Mr. Noodle for lunch (disgusting)because no one else is interested in soup around here and there is no way I was going to make a pot of homemade soup and hear other restaurant orders barked at me!! Hope you are feeling better…we’re on day 3… I know in a couple days it will be so much better – but that seems so eff’in far from now!!!
Thanks! Am pretty excited.
Same here with the resolutions. Do you know how many times I have uttered “Serenity Now” since Jan 1???? Ridiculous!!!
First off Janet – officially CONGRATS!!! So exciting! Lately I feel that I’m needing to forgive myself wayyy too often. My new years resolution of being more patient got thrown off the rails with this dual-sickness deal!
We had a sick boy over Christmas this year and it made my holiday very difficult. Luka had an awful earache, and while not sick, I am pregnant so I am tired and emotional all the time. Like you, Sara, I had many moments that I am not proud of…where I snapped at him because he was screaming in my ear and pulling at my hair. I feel terrible that I even let myself get to that point but I just need to forgive myself and carry on.
Now he is like the little boy he once was…happy, smiley, giggly. He even just learned to say I love you mommy…unprompted! Melts my heart. I guess I just need to keep thinking of those moments when the difficult ones happen…to carry me through.
Hope you are feeling better and that you can watch the Bachelor this evening, uninterrupted!
Janet