When I was five my best friend was Paula. She wore glasses and pigtails. She had a snorty laugh and made me giggle in the bath tub. She was my #FF( #FF is a term used on Friday’s to recognize your twitter friends when you are tweeting).
Then in grade 2 we changed schools (our old school closed down) and Paula and I went to a new school. That was when Marsha rocked my freakin world. She stole my #FF. Okay, maybe it wasn’t quite that abrupt. We became a threesome. I really was not a fan of that because I had the tendency to feel left out and I always thought Paula and Marsha liked each other more.
I got lucky because Paula moved schools a few years later and then Marsha became my very own exclusive #FF. I have always loved close, honest and intimate friendships. As you can tell if you have read my posts – I wear my heart on my sleeve. I like to feel apart of things. I am not a social climber but I get all goofy and heartfelt when I meet new people I connect with. I am simply a girl who loves people, but I like connecting on a real level and I certainly gravitate toward people who feel the same way. I open up fairly easy. I tell it like it is. If I am worried I tell you. If I am happy I tell you. If I am angry I tell you. You can always be assured that you know where you stand with me.
Enter twitter. As I mentioned in a previous post “Can you be insecure and still successful?”, I have struggled with feeling like Twitter and Facebook can give the impression of inner circle. We are surrounded by our “friends” but they are also friending other friends at the same time and it is not surprising that sometimes you feel left out. @infosara wrote an amazing post about how she wondered if she measured up and fit into her twitterverse (a term I first heard from @jackiyo – who happens to be a wonderful women to follow on twitter by the way). As I grow my network of mom entrepreneurs on twitter and through meetings in real life, I am amazed at the deep friendships I see unfolding before my very eyes. I watch with interest at what they say to each other. Sometimes I jump in with a comment and wonder what do they think about me interrupting their chat. Social media can really cause complications in friendships. I can’t even imagine what it is like for tweens and teens of today growing up with social media to contend with . Do they get mad at each other publicly? Do they make up publicly? Friendships are complicated and hard to keep hold of as we get older.
@Optimom and I once had a chat about friendships. She oversees a network of “girl’s nights out”. She told me that many women get to an age where they have lost some lifelong friendships (or they don’t get to see their “old” friends as often because they have moved etc) and are looking to develop new relationships and connections.
We often meet new friends once we have children. I know I feel like my social circle felt less empty after having children. I have met amazing friends through my children. My son’s first daycare provider is a close friend of mine (introduced to me by another close friend that I met while on maternity leave with my first son). I hang with many of my son’s friends parents. In fact I met one set of parent friends after my son and their son got into a fight! Another close friend is a neighbour who is now working with me on some of my business ventures. But I don’t think she is sold on twitter!. Most of my friends avoid twitter.
You also have the friendships that you made through your spouse. One of my very close friends is a direct result of that. I wonder what would ever happen if she or I left our spouses – would we still be friends? I sure hope so.
After taking a leave of absence this year from work I have met a whole new set of friends through my mom entrepreneur network. I tweet with these gals and laugh with them. It became so important for me to meet these people that it became the idea for my business – let’s meet outside of twitter and learn from each other. My network was born from that simple concept! My first event was in March – so really I have only known these new friends in person for a few months but it doesn’t feel that way.
My Urban Mom’s retreat showed me that you really don’t need to spend much time with someone to develop a bond. If you are like minded and “get each other” you can develop a friendship fast.
One of my latest friendships was found through reading her posts @sharondv writing made me feel okay about myself. She laughs at herself and her life typos. We experienced similar issues in our lives and before I had even met her I felt like I knew her. It felt awkward telling her that though. I didn’t want her to think I wanted something from her. I just felt a weird connection with her. All this came from just reading her writing. Weird. Plus she makes me laugh.
One friendship I have left out which has absolutely nothing to do with twitter is the friendship I have with my mom. My mom is completely clueless about twitter. She would think a #hashtag was something you smoked. My mom and I have our moments but unlike friendships that have drifted over the years this one remains solid. My mom drives me nuts but she is always my rock. She is the first person to point out my typos. I can always count on her to talk to me and she never tells me what I want to hear. She is honest, to a fault. Selfish in a way that is healthy and she is dependable. We laugh a lot, drink too much wine sometimes and fight sometimes too. We are opposites yet the same.
So to all my #FF’s and yours – Happy #FF Friday. Go hug your friend now.
Better be very careful what people post on Twitter. It is an open forum, with all tweets saved, that may totally return to bite you in the rear within the near future.
Thanks for the mention Leigh, one thing I find that, the true friendship is still and will be there no matter how far you are apart or how old you grew; however it’s a bit different to make friends when we grow up, and it takes longer to find best friends given individual’s circumstances and to build up that relationship. Bonding can be instant but trust can’t.
Leigh! This article is great! I really enjoyed reading it, and it really invokes some thought as to how our kids will grow up socially with things like facebook and twitter….its so different! Keep up the good work!
Aw, what a sweet post! And thanks for the shout-out! (I used twitterverse?!)