When I met my husband Rob “The Dude* ” over 12 years ago I never thought it would last.
Just like Jeff Bridge’s Love Story (written in his words), Rob had a fear of commitment in the beginning. I too was fresh out of a long term relationship and was “picky” about who I spent my time with. If I was going to be “be” with someone they they were going to have to treat me special.
I am sure if you asked Rob, he would say in those early days I was “high maintenance”. When I look back on it now I realize I was, but at the time I didn’t really think so. (Sorry Rob!)
We had met at a Halloween Party (that’s him with the “noose” and I am the girl with the black biker hat). He was Mitch, “The Hoff” from Bay Watch. I was a biker chic. He had a spray tan and blue blockers. I had fake nails and a blond wig. We were opposites in every sense of the word. It was not love at first sight. I was still in a relationship. Fast forward months later, we meet up again at a downtown bar. He made me laugh and I was newly single. We hung out that night, pretending to be fashion police who made arrests when necessary. One arrest almost got poor Rob in hot water. I tried to arrest a very large cowboy on the street. We made it out safe. He did not ask me out that night. It took him another two months to do that at yet another party! .The rest is history. He proposed in April 1999 on a trip to St. Maarten. He was a nervous wreck carrying a ring through the airport. We met a couple on that trip and found out later that we had both been proposed to on the same night. We were married in June 2000.
He made me laugh. I questioned everything and put him on the spot constantly. My saving grace was my heart and his was humour.
Over the years we had the bumps that Jeff talks about. Meltdowns over wedding planning, Rob’s work travel schedule,and,eventually lengthy discussions about how to raise our son. We went through a particularly difficult patch the year my first son was two. Call it the 7 year itch or call it renovation stress. My father had just died and we were just finishing 6 months of renovations after moving. We had stopped relating to one another during that brief period. I suggested marriage counselling and he agreed. We turned our first session into a Valentine’s Day activity. We found it very helpful.After that we decided to have our second son. I was scared it would be hard on our marriage. With his travel schedule I often felt like a single parent. ( The Lesson in this is don’t worry about something until it actually is a problem). Having #2 made us closer.
Our #2 is now a year and half old. He is a handful but our marriage is stronger than ever. We still fight from time to time, but, we have found new passions to share together. We both blog and Rob helps me with my new company– Marketing4Moms. I have learned to be more accepting and understanding. He is more helpful and has really found his footing as a father. I marvel at how lucky my boys are to have him as a dad. He is the soccer coach, the guy who throws the kids in the air and makes pancakes on the weekends. He is always there for them. Whether it is a school function or putting on karaoke for the school social – he is there in all senses of the word. We celebrated 10 years of marriage on June 23, 2010. We went to NYC on our own (read Rob’s review of our trip) and really had a great time reconnecting. I hope that we will be as lucky as Jeff and celebrate another 10 years of marriage. My “Dude” still makes me laugh every day…. what more can I ask for?
* The “Dude
” is a Jeff Bridges character from The Big Lebowski – One of Rob’s very favourite movies and characters!
” is a Jeff Bridges character from The Big Lebowski – One of Rob’s very favourite movies and characters!
Actually a super posting. I have some sort of very much the same blog page myself so I could very well keep coming back to see more. thanks for such a engaging experience. Kathy
Great post, Leigh. And it’s awesome we share the same anniversary, just one year apart. Fun!
Great post! I loved hearing your “story”, and I appreciate the frankness with which you wrote about your marriage. Happy 10th anniversary – we’re celebrating ours this friday.
Fabulous post, Leigh. I love the fact that you guys were committed enough to each other to work through the rough parts. So many people don’t. Also, isn’t it amazing to look back on how much you have changed and grown? I have been married nearly 14 years and I barely recognize that you woman who took that giant leap. Thank god my hubby stuck with me!
Thanks for sharing your story. We love “The Dude” in this house. He is often quoted, along with Derek Zoolander and friends.
What a beautiful story!! Relationships are not easy…communication is the key to everything I truly believe. As long as a couple can talk their way through things everything will always end well. Listen and love!
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I’m a romantic at heart and love hearing how people meet their spouses. I also appreciate your candor about the evolution of your relationship.
Oh my goodness- you made me cry.