I attend a support group meeting once a month for parents of children on the autism spectrum. We are a varied group with sons and daughters. Younger children and adult children. There are single parents, married parents, grandparents. Such a varied group, yet we are all bound together by autism. We all just…know. When someone says “I get it” – they totally do.
The last meeting I attended, a mother who was new to the group asked towards the end “How do I get his hair cut? Or brush his teeth? Or clip his nails? It’s a nightmare.”
I got it. Totally. Completely. One hundred percent.
Up until last year haircuts, clipping nails and dental appointments weren’t happening. Not without a flailing, fit-filled fight. That usually ended with me in tears. Wondering how the hell I was going to keep doing this. How on earth will I do this when he’s 16? 20?
I worried that his teeth would be cavity filled and fixing these dental problems would be a nightmare.
I was mad that we had enough to worry about and now his teeth were causing me a great deal of stress.
I didn’t know how to explain to this mom that she just needs to be patient. That it would come. In time.
But then I remembered when people further ahead in the journey would tell me that. It didn’t make a lick of difference what they said. I wanted him to manage NOW. Not in 2 years. Now.
However…I was patient. I had no choice. And it did come with time.
We clip his nails regularly. Brush and floss his teeth every night. Take him for a haircut once a month – he just went on Tuesday. Didn’t even flinch.
However…I was patient. I had no choice. And it did come with time.
We clip his nails regularly. Brush and floss his teeth every night. Take him for a haircut once a month – he just went on Tuesday. Didn’t even flinch.
And the dentist? It’s been getting easier with each visit. Take a look at yesterdays appointment:
“Mom, I’m not even scared anymore!”
“I’m going to be still just like a statue so Brenda can take a picture of my teeth!”
“That thing tickles my teeth!”
“This is scratchy but it will make my teeth shiny”
“I’m done! I did a great job Mom!”
Some of you reading will know how HUGE this is. As I watched her xray and clean his teeth. Polish, floss and flouride his teeth. Move the chair up and down…just. Wow.
All I could do was shake my head in awe at how far he’s come. I wanted to burst. I had a wave of…something. Pride? Positivity? Relief?
There was a sense of relief that something which posed such a challenge in his life is now easy for him. Just like the haircut he got the night before. Easy.
All I could do was shake my head in awe at how far he’s come. I wanted to burst. I had a wave of…something. Pride? Positivity? Relief?
There was a sense of relief that something which posed such a challenge in his life is now easy for him. Just like the haircut he got the night before. Easy.
I must continue to remind myself of these massive gains that he’s made when I start to stress about all the other things that challenge our daily life, like his extremely self limited diet. Or his incessant need to rewind the tv. Or his need to constantly bounce a ball in the house. Or his repeating of everything we say…
The biggest challenge seems to be a whole bunch of really small challenges put together on a daily basis.
The ones that he’s overcome are a really big deal. Each one – huge.
The ones that he’s overcome are a really big deal. Each one – huge.
Huge.
Oh and a sidenote: all of that worrying and stress over his teeth? Mmm hmm. ya. This kid – the one who refused a toothbrush into his mouth until he was 4 and even then wouldn’t let you brush? ya…this kid has the best teeth out of my three.
no cavities!
no cavities!
HUGE HUGE HUGE
That’s so GREAT!! Oh wow… and thank goodness for excellent teeth, huh? That’s lucky and AWESOME! I’m glad at least some of these small things are getting easier – they can kind of get crossed off the list. YAY!!
Okay I can’t do what Cuy does at the dentist….can’t. And he flosses every night! Amazing…
YOu know the struggles that we’ve had with Scotty at the dentist…good for you and Cuy for getting on it early!