Here I am. At the familiar impasse that I find myself in about every two years.
To cut. Or not to cut.
I have always had long hair. Well…with the exception of when my babysitter’s daughter gave me a Mia Farrow haircut when I was 5.
Oh and that time I thought a chin length bob would be a good cut for me as a brand new mom. Not a good look for me. At. All.
I have kept my hair long since then.
Lately I have been wondering if it’s time for a change. I have learned that these thoughts can lead to regret.
After conversing with my cousin about it this weekend I am even more confused about it. I sometimes wish that I could be turned over to a makeover show and have no choice but to do what the celebrity stylist thinks I should do.
After conversing with my cousin about it this weekend I am even more confused about it. I sometimes wish that I could be turned over to a makeover show and have no choice but to do what the celebrity stylist thinks I should do.
I wish I was daring enough to walk in and say “Take it all off – pixie me!”
I am not daring at all with my hair.
This is THE MOST dramatic thing I have done with it in a decade:
Pretty wild, eh?? That was my birthday 2 years ago and I got her to shear off about 5 inches. It was somewhat shocking for me. I felt naked without all my long hair. Other peoples reactions were more along the lines of “oh…did you get a haircut…?”
It’s been 2 years. A couple of trims. And here I am. I love my hair long. I love it.
But it’s doing nothing for me.
But it’s doing nothing for me.
This is my daily hair regime:
wash hair
brush hair
let hair air dry
And you will find me sporting one of these 3 do’s on a daily basis:
The Drab
The SisterWife
The MommyTail
I took the boys for a haircut at my salon and asked 2 of the stylists what they would do if I gave them carte blanche.
The first one – the girl I normally go to – said the most she’d do would be to leave the red colour, bring it up to my clavicle and throw some layers in. Familiar? yes – that would be the haircut from my birthday 2 years ago.
The second one told me what I wanted to hear “You need long hair. I don’t see you going short. You’re not a short hair girl.” She said she’d would leave the length and colour and shatter it with layers. Or she would go brown.
I asked Sean what I should do with my hair to make it different. His answer? PERM IT.
I’msorrywhat?!?
Then I simplified the question “Should I cut my hair?” His answer? No
I’msorrywhat?!?
Then I simplified the question “Should I cut my hair?” His answer? No
Should I just accept my boring, drab, lifeless hair that gives me great comfort, or do I step of of the box? Anytime I have done something different, I’ve regretted it after. I’ve always really really missed my length.
Maybe the best would be to play with colour and leave the length…but there are so few redheads, I’d hate to turn my back on the gingers.
Do you play around with your hair styles? Colours? Have you ever done anything really drastic with your hair? Did you hate it? Love it?
It sounds like you’re not ready to let go of your length. I have a friend with long straight hair like that and she often wears it in a bun or a simple braid. It’s more elegant than a plain ponytail but just as easy. I agree with others – the sister wife has to go!
As I was posting the sisterwife pic I remembered back to when my mum used to put my hair in that style when I was a little girl. She called is “sumups sumdowns” (some hair up, some hair down).
That should be my biggest cue that I should never wear it like that.
That and the fact that that’s how I do my 4yr old daughters hair sometimes…
But…if I shortened it and threw a bunch of layers in it, wouldn’t that make it less “sisterwifey” ?
You have amazing hair. But… If you are thinking of cutting it, means you have almost decided for it, at least 50%. You are just a little scared, I think. What will happen after? Are you scared of people will say? Who cares! It’s your hair. It will grow back.
Short hair: easier to wash, dry, style, you can change your look from one day to another, so good in summer, you get to be a new you every time you cut it or change the style.
Long hair: the 3 styles in the photo, young kids pull it, gets in the way all the time, is heavy, not too many styles to chose from, nt too much volume, gets greasy fast, same old, same old.
After you get a haircut, you can style it faster. Straighten it just a little, mostly for shine, curl it for a sophisticated look. Go short short, take risks.
I had very long (curly, wavy, big fluff) hair until my daughter was 1. After that I got an alergy that made me cut it. I had very short hair, and it was not good because I have way too much hair, huge volume. I had medium, and it was good. I had long and I didn’t like as much. I was used to just wash and go, no styling. Now it’s a short to medium, I style it, it’s so easy.
My 10 years old daughter has very long hair. She is growing it just to donate for cancer. She loves it, combs it several times a day, I put a good oil in it so it’s not greasy but she can still comb it easily. She takes care of it herself, but she thinks about it as not something that’s hers, she is growing it for someone else. She loves it and she knows that someone else, some other child, will love it too. She can go out with short hair, but the other child may not want to be among other kids because she has no hair. If you can, think about donating it. It will change someone’s life.
All me love long hair, so just don’t ask. Inform. Take your decision, a lot of photos, and then go for it. Some salons have a computer program where they take a photo and then they show you how you would look with different cuts or colours, so you will know in advance.
I always thought there is an age for short skirts, for long hair, for drinking the night out but time passes. Don’t think about current styles, they will change soon. Find something that’s working for you, for your life style.
We know our hair will never look like in magazines, the shine, curls or straight and silky, all those photos are fake. You can achieve something similar with a lot of care and styling products.
You will miss it only for a week or so, you will get used, and it’s fun. The worst is when you come from the salon and wash it, for the first time you might cry, you will be in shock. It will pass.
You can also get a haircut in April, cancer month, if you can donate it. Keep it short for summer, and then think again. If you enjoyed it, cut again, if not let it grow a little long over the winter. Cut again in spring, get ready for summer fun.
Whatever you do, remember the Dove Self Esteem campaign: you are beautiful and unique.
Laura, I have always wanted to wear bangs but I have 2 cowlicks – one on either side of my forehead so it ends up looking like I have 2 horns. It totally sucks and limits that part of any hair style I might want to try.
PS when I let my hair air dry I look like a mad scientist. Jealous.
ok of all the brave things we say on UM asking for advice on how we look is one of the bravest!
I am with Sara. Layer and shorter. It will move with you and you will enjoy it more when it is down. i remember a hairdresser saying once if you always tie it back the cut is not working for you.
You are beautiful. Keep the colour – don’t touch the texture (perm??????YIKES) I would even go shorter than the 2 years ago cut.
book it today and send pix
don’t touch the colour, it is beautiful. however, “long hair” is not a style. it’s too long and it needs some layers and a fringe. oh and never wear your hair like a sister wife!
i truly think that you should cut your hair.. i have to agree with julie & laura.. its Too long! and honestly, i think you should cut it to above your shoulders with layers and definitely with bangs..
you are a pretty girl, but that long hair is just drab. the color is pretty, but i would still add some lighter hi-lites and just brighten it up.
i hope you cut it.. it’ll be awesome.. keep us posted! 🙂
My opinion may not be that popular but it’s only my opinion….
I think the long hair is really not flattering at all. It makes you look like a teenager instead of a sophisticated woman. If I were you I would keep the gorgeous colour, cut it a bit shorter than it was 2 years ago, add some layers and get some bangs. Not those side-sweepy bangs like you had, an actual fringe. Spend 15 minutes on yourself every day and blow dry and style your hair. It will make you feel like a million bucks!
That’s worst, right? Growing hair out. You get to the same point each time and just cut it again.
too long? really? you think?
Hmm…ok. Good to know. I did like the cut from 2 yrs ago, but really missed the long length after about a week.
Do you know often I thought about you as I wrote this post, Grumble??
A LOT! Thinking how lucky you are that you can sport that style – or any style.
I’m convinced that if I had a less pointy nose and fuller lips I could go WAY short.
Ok Kimmy…I’m gonna have to have a tete a tete with Kate. She does what I ask and she knows what I’m comfortable with so she doesn’t push and I appreciate that.
I’ll have to have a plan next time.
And you’re right on what my lifestyle allows me to do. I don’t have the time/energy/desire to spend a whole lot of time on my hair. Maybe lots of layers would make the sisterwife less sisterwifey.
Ya – I’m not at the I-want-it-off place yet. I’m not sick of it long…I love it long. I know if I cut it all off – I’ll want it all back…
Just need a change.
After cutting off my butt-length hair in 19mumblemumble when I got married, I’ve pretty much kept going between a short pixie and a chin-length bob, but it’s been a while now and those two styles, well, yeah, I’m bored, too, so I’m trying to grow it and see what happens.
my turn to tell you what to do! 🙂 and sound like my mother in the process…
it’s too long and it’s taking away from your face. we wanna see you, not hair. love the red and love the 2 years ago. it will grow back, trust me!
I think a few layers in it, and maybe a bit of brightening in the colour would look awesome, lady… but, you look gorgeous just as you are. And anyway, what do I know from hairstyles? (Heh.)
Ok first thing. NEVER ask your husband what to do with your hair. Yes his opinion is important but let’s face it MOST men (no i didn’t say all) will say long hair and they suck at colours and style. So really it’s not what you are looking for. You are old enough and established in your marriage that you can branch out from his opinion and he will still love you. I promise. 🙂
Second thing (in my opinion) don’t listen to the people who tell you not to cut your hair. It’s hair. It grows back and they are doing nothing to solve your dilemma.
Third. Will your lifestyle allow you to do anything other than the 3 styles you currently rock? (the sister wife while not my favourite has the best name and I giggled out loud) If the answer is no then no you can’t stray too far from what you have. If the answer is yes then you do have some options.
Branching out of your comfort zone does not have to be drastic. You are attached to your hair and it gives you comfort but to the world whether you cut it 3 inches or 10 will barley make a lick of difference (as you noted previously). I would suggest donating it to cancer. Then you have made a gift of your hair something you can feel really good about and let your hair grow back if you want BUT in the mean time try out some new styles or colours while the length is more manageable.
If that doesn’t work for you then throw it up in a pony and go shopping for new duds or get a funky manicure or try a facial. Treat yourself to a night out and eat something different you wouldn’t normally eat. Go to a store you’ve never been in before just to window shop. Drive a different way to pick up the kids. Eat dessert first then dinner. You are in a rut and need to change things up. 🙂
I think you need to leave the colour – bring it up and put lots of layers in it. It’s a massive adjustment to cut it all off (trust me – I did it) and you have to be really prepared for it…you can’t be thinkign about it – it has to be – I want it off…..
But I think you’d be even more beautiful with a slew of layers in it and shorter….go for it lady!