I feel like I already wrote about this but cannot find it in my archives. Anyways. It’s relevent again for us.
Sean called me from the mall where he had taken both of the boys for haircuts last night.
Sean: The lady was kind of a bitch. She wasn’t being very nice to Cuy.
Me: Really?? She was so great with him the last time I took him.
I described her to him and it was the same girl, but apparently the patience she had for our wiggler the last time she saw him was nowhere to be found last night. Sean said she was getting frustrated with him and started to get pretty firm with him after awhile.
I realized after I hung up that Sean took him to a different place the last time so this girl probably hadn’t seen Cuy in a few months and wouldn’t have remembered him.
When he got home I asked Sean “Did you tell her?” Sean said he did not.
Referring to the the autism. There was a time when we didn’t have to tell people. When he was little and most of the behaviours could have been taken for typical toddler/preschooler behaviours. I felt at that time that I needed to protect him and his privacy and that it was nobody’s business. But we are in a very different place now and for his sake and the people who engage with him, it’s just best that we are up front about the disorder.
Referring to the the autism. There was a time when we didn’t have to tell people. When he was little and most of the behaviours could have been taken for typical toddler/preschooler behaviours. I felt at that time that I needed to protect him and his privacy and that it was nobody’s business. But we are in a very different place now and for his sake and the people who engage with him, it’s just best that we are up front about the disorder.
I told Sean he needs to tell people now. For everybody’s sake. It’s not fair for the girl cutting his hair to not have a bit of an idea going in with the shears that there may be some some resistance. Then the wiggling is expected. And tolerated. As it should be anyways, but let’s face it. We’ve been living with this long enough to know that people are much less tolerant and accepting when they don’t know.
When they do know – things are so much easier. People treat him different. They speak differently to him and seem to try harder to make things easier and successful for him. And that’s ok with me.
When they do know – things are so much easier. People treat him different. They speak differently to him and seem to try harder to make things easier and successful for him. And that’s ok with me.
He is different than most 8 year olds going for a haircut, so treating him different is necessary for it to be a good experience for him. She may have even put in the extra effort to buzz the patch on the side of his head that she missed…
I asked Sean later that night if he thought about telling her. He said he did. I asked why he didn’t. He said he just wanted to see what happened.
What happens was she didn’t treat our boy very well.
She could also have been bewildered by the bunch of them. Apparently when she asked Cuy his name he told her “Rick”.
And when she asked his brother’s name, he told her “Rob”.
And Sean was calling them Cam and Cuyler. He didn’t bother to correct him because he thought it was funny. Nice.
Lesson #1 – disclose the diagnosis.
Lesson #2 – remind Cuyler that he and Cam are NOT Rick and Rob.
Oh Rick and Rob. This is such a good post Christine. I often feel like this – but lately, like you – I tend to say ‘he has autism’ right off the hop. Especially with Cuy and Scotty – who don’t always appear autistic – it’s so hard. You don’t want to point out that they’re different but you’re right – people are more understanding.
you are so smart every time! Your little guy is darn adorable and funny.
hey chris… lmao at rick and thought rob was was even better. i agree with you about “telling” other people how it is.makes it better for everyone especially cuyler.
luv ya….dad
que sera sera!!
I am laughing out loud right now! So funny…Rick and Rob!! Especially that Sean didn’t correct them! That lady must have thought they were all a little crazy!!
I DO remember the Portugal story no idea his name was “Rick”. We live in a crappy world where people are often NOT nice to each other. If telling people gives Cuy and you some peace and some tolerance and support I say that’s not bad. No sense you you being the poster people for “A family with autism” everyday of your lives.
xoxo
Good lessons. You’re doing a god job, mama…
Um..Ya – Rick from Portugal. He’ll tell you he was born there and moved here when he was 7 months old after his house was destroyed. I don’t know where he gets this stuff from.
Oh and Rob – that would be the grade 2/3 teacher at our school.
Cuy tries hard to get me to call him Rick at gymnastics class, but I just keep on saying “Cuyler it’s your turn”. Eventually I get the “Who me?”
I’m laughing hysterically! Oh, he certainly does have a sense of humour. Did he say he was Rick from Portugal?! I’m sure K. will like seeing the hair cut today:)
ROFL….Rick & Rob….the boy has a sense of humour, that’s for sure 🙂