August is not a good month. From what I hear, it’s not good for many people.
Last August was horrendous for us. This August is proving to be the same.
Kids need to go back to school. One month – July – would be perfect. For Cuyler especially.
He needs the routine and he needs the predictability that the routine brings to his life.
I feel like I am heading into crisis mode. Maybe I’m there. It’s been building for a few weeks. And I think it came to a head to today. Sean came back from picking Cam up from golf camp and he was met with me crying.
Telling him “I need to go away. Leave. I can’t do this anymore.”
Telling him “I need to go away. Leave. I can’t do this anymore.”
I explained the incident that happened. Just one of many that happen everyday lately.
He is so static again. He is obsessed with Toy Story 3. Re-enacting the scenes. Scripting the scenes.
His reactions are explosive and impulsive. The shouting and the screaming are getting the better of me.
We tried to make the best of it today and headed to Bronte Creek Provincial Park with my cousin and her family. They have a 7 year old boy who Cam gets along with fantastically – a great playmate for him.
The afternoon was really nice, but there were several incidences throughout the day that frustrated me – explosive outbursts over minor things. That continued throughout the evening.
And by bedtime – I broke. He wouldn’t go to bed. Was screaming for his Sheriff Woody, who he couldn’t find (who he probably threw in a garbage somewhere while acting out a scene).
Once he was back upstairs – I broke. Sobbing. I let it all out on Sean.
I’m angry.
I’m frustrated.
I’m scared.
I’m tired.
He sat. He listened. He offered solutions. We made a list of things that need to be addressed.
We have a lot of work ahead to get him back on track. We have appointments made with people who can help. We have school to look forward to. I just need to be able to get through these next 2 weeks.
There were a few bright spots in the day so I’ll end on those.
Eva & Cuyler in the water
My cousin’s little one – who doesn’t love dipping baby-toes in the water???
This is what 2 hours of swimming will do
A farmer and her piggie
And the highlight of my day, which still makes me happy, was meeting Anne Marie Mediwake, from CBC morning news. I was a huge fan of hers when she was on Global (still am) She was walking with her cousin and her adorable triplets. We were walking past on opposite sides of the roads and I told her “I don’t want to disrupt your family time – but I’m a huge fan!” She walked over to us, asking about my cousins baby. We chatted for awhile – mostly about our kids and a little bit about her work. She was lovely and engaging and gracious. Her children are precious.
I was a big fan before I met her – I am an even bigger fan now. I think I may even switch from my current fave newscast (where her husband works…) to CBC. She is just as beautiful (and oh so TINY) in real life. It was the silver lining of my day. There’s always one!
Do you realize how awesome you are for ALWAYS finding something positive. So many people can’t Christine…so, so many. Hang in there.
Oh Christine. You’re awesome. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you.
Love the pic of Eva and Sean!! LOL
Oh, August blows. I have given myself permission to safely enter Survival Mode until the fall hits, and that means not worrying about the housework, letting the kids watch too many movies and eat a dozen freezies a day, and just trying to make it through. You’ll make it! You are doing such a great job and I hope the routine of the fall finds you soon.
Good days and bad. We all have them but some suck way more than others. I was in crisis mode myself for entirely different reasons on Thursday.
I said once “what do you do when you just don’t know what to do?” Most people answered “just keep swimming.” Even though you’ve got a tough gig Christine you get up and face it everyday. You do that even when you don’t want to. A good man by your side to help. And soon you can just put on those shoes and fly out the door at a moments notice and let the zen take over, run those worries away, clear your mind or if nothing else give you peace for 30 mins.
Keeping rockin’! 😉