I’ve always though that my job as a parent was to raise my children to become independent, autonomous individuals. Especially with Cuyler.
I’ve never really thought too much about it with Cam and Eva, but with Cuyler it’s a great hope of mine that he will live an independent, happy life.
I’ve realized that as much as I want it to happen – it’s so hard to let it happen.
Since we moved here, Cam has hardly been home. It’s bittersweet for me. I love that he’s busy and with good friends all the time, but I miss him. I think we are entering a new stage where he doesn’t need or want me.
His peers are more important than I am. It scares me to think that they may have more influence on him than I do. And I have no influence or say in who is friends are (ahem…to a point.) He is 9 now and it seems that all of a sudden we’re the last people he wants to hang out with.
On top of him not being around all that much, Sean and I do not agree on the distance that Cam can travel on his own. So far I’ve lost the arguments and Cam has travelled to various friends houses and parks that are further than I am comfortable with him going by himself.
I’ll be shouting down the road to him to “Call me as soon as you get there. Make sure you cross the roads safely! And watch for cars coming in and out of driveways! And when you cross the road to the hospital watch for cars driving fast! And when you get there don’t go in the pool unless there’s an adult supervising at all times! And don’t forget…“
Sean cuts me off “Honey stop! He’ll be fine. Geez…”
Sean cuts me off “Honey stop! He’ll be fine. Geez…”
And he has been fine. His bike is racking up some serious mileage. But I still worry each time he leaves and really don’t completely relax until he is in the house for the night.
I imagine this will be my life from now on because when I’m through this stage, he’ll be driving.
When Cam is playing in the vicinity of our house, I usually find something like this outside:
That’s Cuyler in the middle of the mix. (Have I mentioned how much I love it here?)
Anybody else having a hard time letting go of the leash and allowing more independence?
What age did you start letting your kids go further on their own?
What age did you start letting your kids go further on their own?
You might want to check out this software – http://bit.ly/bxnJMF – It worked for me, they claim you can get a listing even without an actual address. I wouldn’t recommend it though it might work for a bit but eventually the big G will notice.
Thanks Erin – will definitely check out that book!
Before you know it (and before your ready) you’ll be here too 🙁
Christine,
I’m not there with the twins yet and it wasn’t an issue with my stepdaughters because our town is so small they could walk anywhere. They did have to cross the highway though so I think they were over 10 when they could do that.
I have a book about peer and parental influence called “Hold onto your Kids”, I haven’t read it yet but it’s about how the peer influence should not usurp parental influence totally. It’s by Gabor Mate and …. I forget right now but if you google the tite and Gabor you’ll find it.
I remember playing in the street (and the Don Valley) unsupervised all the time. I was probably around 9 or 10 and my sister was three years younger.