Would You Cry To Get What You Want?

A few months ago, I was trying to negotiate a better deal on my phone plan. You see, I constantly go over my data limit and end up paying a fortune in extra charges. I called up my service provider, and I got nowhere.

I quickly became frustrated. It seems my plan had been grandfathered and if I wanted to switch plans, it was going to cost me an arm and a leg. My frustration turned to anger, as I tried to keep it together. I’m not sure how many times I muttered, “Look, I’m not angry with you, I am just mad at the situation” to the poor woman on the other end of the phone, but it surely wasn’t enough to get me anywhere. So I’m still going over my data, still paying a small fortune to the phone gods.

Seems what I really should have done was busted out the waterworks.

A new study from the Insead Business School says that crying may be the best way to get the upper hand in negotiations. Supposedly, a few tears shed work better than anger, demands or even flirting.

The study looked at 168 participants in four negotiations to see if those who acted sad got more out of the situation than those acting neutral or angry. And what do you know, those acting sad were able to gain more concessions from the other person than any other participants.

Researchers say this tactic works best when the person on the other side of the negotiation feels superior to you, has nobody to blame but themselves for you being upset or thinks they may see you again in the future.

The researchers then go on to say that this might not be the best tactic as it may actually make you sad in the long run and that when used too often can simply become annoying and lose its effectiveness.

I’m all for getting ahead in a negotiation or argument (that’s the whole point of negotiating, isn’t it?), but I’m not sure how quickly I would turn to tears. Maybe it’s because I am a woman and there is a definite stigma against woman crying in any kind of business-related situation. Or maybe it has nothing to do with my gender and more to do with the fact that it just seems like a dirty trick.

Negotiations are, by their very nature, high stress and emotional. It wouldn’t be crazy to think that a person could be brought to tears during an intense session.

But to use it as a negotiation tactic? I can’t get behind that.

Would you cry to get what you want out of a situation? Let me know in the comments below!