This post is sponsored by Conceivable Dreams, the provincial voice for thousands of infertility sufferers and their supporters across Ontario. To learn more about these issues and how you can help visit www.ConceivableDreams.org or follow @OHIP4IVF on Twitter.
Last week I wrote about how costly infertility is: Emotionally, physically and financially.
John and I were very, very lucky, in every way.
I was very, very aggressive in seeking treatment. I was 35. John had his vasectomy 11 years previously. I researched everything and I knew what our odds were.
I gave it six months after the vasectomy reversal.
For IVF I chose a clinic in Toronto that didn’t require referrals because I didn’t want to wait any longer. I have no doubt that this clinic is very, very aggressive in its practices. And that’s exactly what I wanted.
I had limited funds and the clock was ticking. Plus, we did not have the money to do multiple rounds of IVF. We had one chance.
The process for IVF is grueling. During my cycle I had to take fertility drugs every day. I had to inject them into my abdomen.
The drugs are very expensive. They cost between $3000-$5000, PER CYCLE! All the tests are covered by OHIP; ultrasounds, blood work, etc. But the rest isn’t. And it costs between $10,000 and $12,000 total every single time.
I had to take two weeks off work. I had paid leave but many people don’t and they lose their income during a cycle. Add that to the costs and they are phenomenal.
For two weeks they monitored my hormones and follicular growth. Every second day at first, and then daily. When the ultrasound showed mature follicles, I had to get another shot of drugs, this time in my bottom. This was to stimulate ovulation. Then, back again to the clinic for egg extraction.
They gave me morphine & valium in an IV drip. There’s a reason for that. The vaginal ultrasound wand had a looooong needle on it that goes through the vaginal wall to extract the eggs. I watched it on the screen. John held my hand. It was exciting, here were my eggs. This was our chance.
Our embryos:
We waited three days for the embryo transfer. That’s when they suggested implanting four due to poor quality. FOUR! I didn’t think twice. We spent a lot of money and knew we couldn’t do a second round and I REALLY wanted a baby. I knew there was a risk but with one chance at this it was a risk I was willing to take.
We were so lucky. We only had to do IVF once. I know many who have gone through this multiple times. Imagine every time believing this could be the time you finally have that baby in your arms. Maybe this time you will be able to move forward in your life with your family like you had always planned. Maybe this time you can tell your family that they will be welcoming a new baby, your parents that they will be grandparents. Maybe that ache in your chest and the longing in your heart will finally be replaced by the love or your child. For some this will happen but for others they will go through all of this only to find out that, once again, it was unsuccessful. There will be no baby. The thought of doing it all over again is overwhelming. The emotional toll is so great but the thought of giving up unthinkable.
A woman commented on my last post that she had 3 IUIs, 3 fresh IVFs, and 12 Frozen Embryo Transfers. This took ten years, I can’t imagine how much money, and resulted in one boy. Her strength is beyond inspiring.
Infertility is painful in so many ways but it is made less so by groups like Conceivable Dreams who are advocating for people dealing with the pain of infertility to get the support they need.
Anon,
I also think Quebec’s choice is a good one. However, I’m not sure the I would choose SET, given the choice and the factors I was faced with.
What do you think about SET over 35 with complicating factors? I think that is one aspect that is not being discussed here.
I was 35 with complicating factors. I was well informed, extremely well. I made a choice based on my knowledge.
I ended up with only one out of 4 embryos surviving, but splitting into two.
This is really, really, tough for parents. As an educated member of Multiple Births Canada, I see why we should do SET, as a “desperate to have a baby” woman, I know why I chose to do what I did.
In the end, I support SET, with funding. We only had one shot.
Vanessa,
That contest. Wow? I don’t know what to think. I’m kind of horrified. On the other hand, I’m sure winning that contest would help a couple. The fact that it exists shows us that we need to fund it. Yikes!
I think we all know that the desire for children is in our biology (for most people). It’s not unreasonable to fund it from the emotional perspective. Or the financial, it seems, according to stats on the costs of multiple births.
I’m of two minds on multiple births, of course. I love my twins. They were born healthy. But, I had so many ultrasounds and tests, that must have cost a fortune. Imagine adding costs of multiples who are not born healthy.
It just makes sense to try to reduce the rates, yet, if we hadn’t been aggressive my girls might not be here.
If funded, people will be able to make choices that are more sane.
I hope.
Fran, I know how lucky we were. We only had to do one round of IUI and one of IVF.
I truly can’t imagine multiple rounds of IVF…it’s hard. In every way.
I’m so happy that you were able to adopt. Adoption was an option I was willing to pursue, but my husband wasn’t (at the time). He already had two daughters so it was different for him.
I truly believe it should be funded, and regulated. Although, if they hadn’t put four embryos in me, maybe I wouldn’t have been so lucky.
I think the path Quebec has chosen is a good one. Public funding of IVF, combined with Single Embryo Transfer protocol for those couples who are good candidates – typically moms under 35, first cycle, few complicating factors. SET reduces the risks of multiple births, which as you know are very significant. Statistics from Britain and some other countries show that SET has very little impact on success rates (defining success as a health baby born near term) as long as patients are able to try 2 or 3 times.
Our triplets were born through IVF, after a very similar story to yours. They were premature, with developmental delays and significant complications for me due to preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. With all that I have learned since about the risks of multiple births, and with today’s improvements in ART techniques, if I were to do it again I would choose SET.
I’m wondering what you think of this contest: http://www.hot899.com/inside.asp?id=5950&mn=2&cc=1
While I agree with some people that the marketing images may not be the best choice for this topic BUT they are getting people talking. It has made local and international media, websites and blogs from everywhere. While a baby may not be the prize having the cost of IVF covered is a blessing to some.
We’ve had our own fertility struggles (one loss) and it looks like out current 4 year old is going to grow up a singleton but we decided, as a couple, not to enter the contest. We have one. A pretty cool little dude (4 years old) if I do say so myself. There are so many people out there struggling for just the chance at one!
Like Christine said above, she knows people who are re-mortgaging their house. That is just so wrong. I know people here in Ottawa who are thinking of moving to Quebec because the province has coverage for IVF.
People not going through this, or not knowing someone who has/is have no idea often of the drivers behind the decision to go the fertility treatment route. I applaud anyone willing to speak out and share their story!
You are probably one of the many few where the IVF treatments worked. I went through this continuous procedure (with my husband) that saw me going from excited and hopeful to totally depressed month after month. The cost is astronomical but you are so intent on having a child that the $$$ factor gets put aside. After 2 years of IVF and with my emotional factor being in question, we finally came to reality and asked ourselves – did we want me to conceive or did we want to have a family.
Adoption was always an option to us and after a very short period of 4 mos. (yes we were extremely lucky) we connected with a young birth mother and from there on all things were arranged through our lawyer and our son was born.
Infertility is a disease, no different that diabetes, ADHD, it is also hereditary. Why is our population so low? Because more and more women are waiting longer to have their children and there are more cases of infertility than ever before. We need help in solving this problem.
I remember commenting to Sean, as we were talking about friends who were doing their 3rd month of IUI that is seems so unfair that “we get pregnant for free and they are remortgaging their house…”
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think it’s such a gift to your girls that they will read these stories and know how incredibly wanted they were!
What an incredible story, Erin- I had no idea. This is amazing- one shot and look how well you did!So happy for you and John
Thanks gals. It was something. But you know what…not that bad, physically.
Reading the post I’m thinking, the bottom shot was for IUI, not IVF, so take that one out.
I’m so, SO happy things worked out for you – and on the first try – since yes, the whole procedure is tres costly. I can’t imagine how taxing it all is, especially when it’s not working… and your two Smalls are just amazing, Erin. YAY!!
I cried reading this Erin because you nailed it – how many people do go through all of this and in the end don’t have a child. It’s just so unfair – the amount of people that I know currently struggling with infertility is HUGE. Conceivable Dreams is doing amazing work. I love seeing the pics of your embryos….and now knowing the girls!