I always knew that I wanted children.
I was one of those girls who never had a boyfriend.My parents told me I was too smart and that scared boys.I always thought I was too
fat and ugly.
fat and ugly.
Ridiculous, I know. But, the reality is, I did not have regular boyfriends in my 20s.I had a few short term “relationships”, to use the term loosely. The great guys I was friends with, and sometimes slept with, didn’t want to be my regular bf.
So, I was 31 when I met John. 32 when I graduated from Teacher’s College
and moved in with him and his daughters, who were 13 & 10 at the time. It was another year before I had full time work teaching.
and moved in with him and his daughters, who were 13 & 10 at the time. It was another year before I had full time work teaching.
Then my sister was diagnosed with cancer, and my time was
devoted to her and her children.
devoted to her and her children.
John and I married in 2005.
John had his vasectomy reversal one month after Maddy died. Ten months after Maddy died. We were still not pregnant. I read all the signs every month. Temperature charts, tiny microscopes that would read my saliva…was it ferning???? If so, I was FERTILE! I checked my cervical mucus (how I hate that word), was it stretchy, like egg whites? Eventually I got to the pee on an ovulation stick stage. Those buggers cost a lot of money.
John had his vasectomy reversal one month after Maddy died. Ten months after Maddy died. We were still not pregnant. I read all the signs every month. Temperature charts, tiny microscopes that would read my saliva…was it ferning???? If so, I was FERTILE! I checked my cervical mucus (how I hate that word), was it stretchy, like egg whites? Eventually I got to the pee on an ovulation stick stage. Those buggers cost a lot of money.
I endured tests. Most were fine. Really.
Except the one where the ultrasound tech introduce air into my abdomen….and then I couldn’t even walk. We were about to go to the ER in Toronto. (Oh yeah, we had to travel 5 hours for every treatment.) However, the clinic answered my emergency call and told me it was only air. ONLY AIR….I couldn’t walk! I had to crawl up three stories to go to bed, and John had to help me go to the bathroom.
Except the one where the ultrasound tech introduce air into my abdomen….and then I couldn’t even walk. We were about to go to the ER in Toronto. (Oh yeah, we had to travel 5 hours for every treatment.) However, the clinic answered my emergency call and told me it was only air. ONLY AIR….I couldn’t walk! I had to crawl up three stories to go to bed, and John had to help me go to the bathroom.
However, we were VERY lucky. We got pregnant on the first round of IVF. We had already done one round of IUI, but after reading “How to Get Pregnant”, I decided it made sense to go right to IVF.
We paid for it with our wedding money and donations from my parents. If we didn’t have that, we would not have Fiona & Sophie.
We paid for it with our wedding money and donations from my parents. If we didn’t have that, we would not have Fiona & Sophie.
We didn’t buy them, but they cost money to conceive.
They are loved; by many people.
Do we deserve to have them?
Yes.
Should we have had to have enough money to conceive them?
I don’t think so. I know I’m biased.
They are loved; by many people.
Do we deserve to have them?
Yes.
Should we have had to have enough money to conceive them?
I don’t think so. I know I’m biased.
Infertility is a modern reality. For a variety of reasons, infertility rates
have increased and more couples are seeking treatment. I think that IVF should be funded by OHIP. It’s not only my own experience that leads me to this opinion. It’s also my role as President of Temiskaming Multiple Births and my work on committees involving health and multiple births. Multiple births bring risks. Risks that are emotionally and financially costly.
have increased and more couples are seeking treatment. I think that IVF should be funded by OHIP. It’s not only my own experience that leads me to this opinion. It’s also my role as President of Temiskaming Multiple Births and my work on committees involving health and multiple births. Multiple births bring risks. Risks that are emotionally and financially costly.
Watch for my next post on this issue where I will go into detail about these costs.
In the meantime, check out Conceivable Dreams
Follow them on Twitter @OHIP4IVF and learn more about this issue that is very close to my heart.
There is nothing more heartbreaking than finding out that the thing that you want most in life, may never happen. I know what it is like to hear about a friend who gets pregnant without trying, while I’m going downtown to the clinic each day for shots, bloodtests and ultrasounds. I know what it is like to feel the anxiety while lying on the table waiting for them to see if they have enough eggs to give you a chance to be a mom. I’ve been there lying in bed, trying to reduce my stress to give that little embryo the best chance to hang on and be my child.
I have 3 ivf miracles…..I would have done anything to be their mommy.
H
Cassandra,
Wow, that is sooo many treatments. You are amazing for going through that.
I know, it’s all worth it, but it’s a lot, isn’t it?
I work in New Liskeard and just moved from Temagami to Haileybury. I hope we meet up some day!
Very good read.
Infertility is very expensive in many ways ….. financially, emotionally, physically.
It provides more stress then many can imagine.
It always boggled my mind that the government will pay for someone to NOT have children but wanting to create future tax paying citizens is something that isnt in the budget.
After an ectopic pregnancy left me with infertility my husband and I did 3 IUI, 3 fresh IVF and 12 FET. I cant even count all of the needles, medication, procedures and surgeries but in the end after 10 years we finally had a baby boy and it was all worth it but that still doesnt erase the fact that I feel as though the medical system failed me.
PS: I’m from New Liskeard (Temiskaming caught me eye, not somewhere that pops up often lol)
My heart – those pictures!!! Too cute! I’m with you on this one Erin – through your whole story of your high school, your 20s and your wanting kids. I was fortunate to conceive through IUI on the first try – so I avoided the high cost of IVF. I’ve written to all my MP candidates to see where they stand on this issue. I have far too many dealing with infertility and the astronomical costs to become a family. This issue is too important. We need to move on it. THanks for your honesty!