“I wanna know where my confidence went”. Blue Rodeo
I’m coming back to myself. It’s amazing. Over the last few months, OK years, I have not been myself. Honestly, I’ve been depressed. Maybe PPD, maybe not, I’m not sure.
The important thing is:
I’m back!
It’s been getting better for awhile. I’ve been feeling good for a few months. I’ve had several awesome weekends with friends who like me, really, really, like me.
But this conference has really been IT for me. I’ll tell you why.
I’m here by myself. The first night, before the conference, I spent by myself. I hate being alone. But, I accepted that about myself. I recognized it as something to work on. I worked through the discomfort. I meditated (a goal of mine). I slept. All alone (no kidlets), and very well. It was good.
What’s better is the next two days. I put myself out there. I introduced myself to people. Educators I’ve been following on twitter whom I really respect. Twitter / Education Celebs! I went out with them to dinner (having invited myself along).
I have met great people. Really, really great people. I have been reunited with someone I was in grade 9 with, an awesome, rebellious educator. I have been laughing and joking. I am funny again. I am fun again.
I’m reminded of when I moved to Vancouver in 1989. I didn’t know anyone. I went to the Rolling Stones concert by myself and met my first friend. Then I showed up at a party in my apartment building. Didn’t know anyone. They thought I was complaining at first but were thrilled when I was just inviting myself.
I lost that confidence for awhile, now it’s coming back. And it rocks!
I know this is a very “me” post. I am going to write about the incredible perspectives on education that are being explored at this conference.
Have you experienced depression or loss of confidence and then recovery (for lack of a better word).
So glad to read this!
I love this post – and what do you mean to ‘ME’…. YOu are a working mom of twin girls…take some time to focus on ME and bring us along for the ride.
Erin – that avatar picture is amazing….seriously you’re glowing. Keep going!!!!
beautiful post
and I love to hear you are feeling this way
keep feeding it Erin! It must be fed! xn
That’s FANTASTIC! Rock on, lady!
Love your new avatar Erin! So fun and flirty!
You need to keep reminding yourself how important it is to take time for yourself. As a mom we think that needing time away from the family is selfish but it’s the only way to recharge and be the best mom we can be.
Oh, how stoked I am for you, lady… this is a very, very good thing. Keep at it, and get down with your bad self, woman. YAY!!!