I haven’t been able to post much lately and it’s because I’m so tired that I fall asleep with the girls at 8 pm. Then I’m still tired when I wake up at 6 am. The odd night I do manage to get up again, I’m too tired to think, TV is about all I can handle, and only until 9 pm.
That means I have no evening time to do anything. Like work, blog, relax, make phone calls.
I’ve been experiencing some other physical symptoms too. I’m beginning to think that my body can no longer handle all the stress I’ve been under. I have to proof, nor do I have any way of proving it, but I think that’s it. Ironically, now that I also feel physically worn down, it is becoming even harder for me to think about, and work toward, the changes that I need to make.
These changes are going to be really hard. I can’t decide what to do.
And it’s exhausting me.
I’m writing this because I wanted to explain my lack of posts to you.
Erin: You NEED to take those mental health days (especially if you have the sick days to do it). Think of it – think of how much more focused you could be with a 4 day weekend and some time to sort things out in your head – think of the benefit that would have to you and your students, not to mention your family. I have guilt issues to – but from an outsiders perspective I think two or three mental health days (in a row) would do you a world of good in terms of your perspective on things. Just my ‘two cents’. Stay strong. J*
Hey Erin
Give me a call in advance of one of those NB days! I am working less now (though odd and unpredictable hours) and would love to have a visit. Even if we just sit there feeling so tired. 🙂
Hugs!
no need to explain your quiet- your life is extremely full. I have been wondering if I missed whether you sold your house or not.
We all feel guilty in a good life if we feel low or ca’t handle all of it. But we/ you shouldn’t.
For the exhaustion can I recommend you get thorough blood work done? Check your thyroid and TSH levels as well as Ferrratin (Iron). You may need a little help feeling right.
For the tasks and the weighed down feeling would you consider dividing all the areas of your life in a pie and the tasks/ needs /wants in each and figure out how to get there. Who can you enlist? What would help? What is a reasonable timeline to complete ? Fit in me time and exercise ( just a little something)
then when you have completed that, open a bottle of wine and laugh at me. I have forgotten what it is like to have 4 year olds. I have never had twins.
BUT honestly these things help me HUGE. Give away as many tasks as you can and moving things forward just a bit will make all the difference in the world to you and your energy, I think
xxoo n
i can’t recall how quickly but with the floradix (it’s a natural supplement…either a pill or liquid) i took it 2-3 times a day and within a week i was “up” again. what i liked about that particular brand was that it was so much better on my system. when i was a teen in was on “ferrous gluconate” and that certainly messed up my…ahem…output.
you sound like me with my coffee, although 3 isn’t that many. maybe on the “high side of low” 🙂 speaking of which, i’m going to fill my glass right now.
Racheal,
A mental vacation is definitely what I need, as well as taking the difficult action I need to . I managed to do a bit of yoga on Mon & Tues. morning but then one of my girls got sick and started waking up earlier (oddly). I’m doing yoga breaths now, they do help. Maybe I’ll read Hyperbole and a Half for some laughter.
Oddly, we didn’t get snow, just super cold nights. I have vitamin D supplements which I rarely remember to take, I need a vitamin routine. I should get one of those pill organizers and leave it out.
Thanks for your support.
Julie,
I do have low iron, I found out last week and have been presribed supplements which I have yet to pick up, I’ll get them today. I drink coffee in the morning only, but I do drink 3 mugs, it’s a lot I know. And I need to remember to stay hydrated during the day and keep my water bottle full.
Do you know how long it takes for the iron supplements to work?
You know what Tracey, it’s not the kids. It’s the rest of it. My girls are generally pretty easy these days. Spring is nigh, and then summer, when I will have time off to get myself together. I just have to hold on until then.
Sara,
It does seem to be a cycle, which worsens with my mentrual cycle, although definitely not directly related by it. Thanks for your support.
Thanks Julie. I wish I could take some mental health day. I’ve missed a lot of work due to appointments. Most of my appointments are in North Bay, which is an hour from home, in the opposite direction from work so I need a whold day off for one appointment. Soemtimes I wonder if it’s worth it.
Anyway, truly I guess I could take more time, I have plenty of sick days, I just feel guilty. I should get over that!
I think we’ve all been there at one point or another. Iron does help, but as Julie said, sometimes we really need a mental vacation. Even if it’s just a chance for you to spend some alone time (is that possible?), it can help get you over the hump, so to speak. Sometimes I do yoga breaths just so I can mock myself for doing yoga breaths. Laughter helps.
Change is always tough.
I know there are some I need to make and I am just avoiding the inevitable.
Despite the dumping of snow we got yesterday – spring is around the corner which means more warm sun and vitamin D and outdoor time.
Hang in there friend – lots of people supporting you!!
could it be iron and/or iron deficiency? i know that won’t solve any stress-y things but i’m always reaching for a coffee rather than a water and i swear my brain shrinks. floradix is my friend. i think we are all on your side, no matter what….hugs….
Oh Erin… your kids are still so small, and so demanding… and our winters are just freaking l-o-n-g!! I could stay in bed ALL DAY these days.
I know the feeling of not seeming to be able to get out from under. Uch. Some time ago, I made *peace* with the fact that I can’t do much in the evenings besides the basics. It’s the only way I can remain reasonably sane. I gave up thinking I was a failure at life because everyone else I know seems to be able to manage so much more than I can – the grass is always greener, blah, blah, blah. If you need to go to bed at 8 PM, then just do it. The phone can wait another day. The internet is always on, and you can jump on and off the Twitter Train whenever you feel like it. There’s always more tomorrow. But there’s only one YOU and your kids are only small once.
Hang in there, kitten – spring is nigh. (Okay, it might not actually *feel* like spring for another month, but it’s coming… that tends to make everyone feel better.) xoxoxox
Oh Erin – I know that feeling. It is the worst – such a cycle. Thinking of you – and always here if you need.
Erin: So sorry to hear that you’re so worn down. Might I suggest a few mental health days where you could nap, go for a long walk, take a long bath and try to rebuild your strength (physical, emotional and mental) and then maybe after those 2 days you could then see things a little more clearly and feel a little stronger in making these difficult decisions? Thinking of you and sending you vibes of strength.