Yesterday, NBA player Jason Collins told the world he is gay. He wrote this terrific piece for Sports Illustrated, describing his process.
We don’t follow much in the way of sports around here, and basketball is no exception – I didn’t know this guy’s name before yesterday, but I’m pleased for him. I’m glad he feels free now, and I hope his life and career go smoothly forevermore.
This morning on the radio, the announcers discussed this latest news item as my son ate his breakfast. He put his fork down while he chewed on it all.
He: Mummy? The guy they’re talking about… what’s his name?
Me: Jason Collins. He’s a basketball player.
He: *worried eyes* So… what happened to him?
Me: Well, yesterday he made an announcement that he’s gay.
He: Oh. *thinks* So… did he… die?
Me: *shrieks incredulously* NO! What?! No, no he’s fine.
He: *knits brows* So… why are they talking about him?
Me: Well, I think he’s the very first openly gay basketball player in the league. ‘Openly gay’ is when a person doesn’t try to hide the fact that he or she is gay.
He: *flatly* Oh.
Me: Yeah. *blinks*
He: But… so… why is there a problem with that?
Me: What do you mean?
He: Well, why are they talking about it on the news? Is it… like, a big deal or something?
Me: *smiling* You know, this shouldn’t be news at all, Oliver. You know it doesn’t matter what people do or who they love. His job is to play basketball. *shrugs* That’s it. So, where he lives, what kind of car he drives, or who he marries, or what foods he eats… not important stuff. It’s just that this is the first time a professional basketball player said so out loud. So… it seems like a big deal, but it shouldn’t be. But everything is scary when it’s the first time. It takes a lot of courage to stand alone. It will be easier for the next person, I hope.
He nods turning back to his breakfast, quietly chewing and thinking.
He: So, are they going to do this every time someone says they’re gay?
Me: Oh god, I hope not.
He: *nods* Mm-hmm…
I can’t tell you how much I love seeing this societal shift. I love how my kid has no idea why any of this could be thought of as a big deal. It’s mainstreaming at it’s finest. I want so much for this not to be a big deal. I want so much for people to just go about their lives, happily and safely. I’m glad to see we’re getting closer and closer to a day in time where if you’re in opposition, then you are standing alone.
Because really, it ain’t no thing. Everybody just shut up and do your work, you know?
I also watched this short film early last week, depicting what it would be like if heterophobia was an actual thing – it’s called Love is All You Need. It’s an excellent story, well shot and edited, and has already won a slew of film awards since it’s release in 2012. It can be brutal to watch at times… but that’s largely the point of the message of bullying. It’s been flying around the internet, and it’s worth the nineteen minutes, if you care to watch.
As you were then… nothing to see here, folks…
Thanks for the nice comments, all! I’d love to see a day return when NEWS is NEWS, and not just ratings-game schlock trying to reel people in, and keep them tuned into gossip-rag stuff.
And I agree, Alice, that this kind of statement is probably a necessary prod for the wide world of sports, where (sadly) this kind of thing is often less-accepted. Being first at ANYTHING feels hard (that’s true for every person walking the planet) and though it’s necessary for today, I feel the day coming when NO ONE CARES and we can all just go on living our lives. Really, it ain’t no thing.
That article he wrote made me cry like a baby. So articulate. So happy for him that he’s feeling happy with his decision. So proud of people who, unsure of the reaction, decide to, as he says, raise their hand and say they are different.
Being the first is hard, but I hope he’s made it easier for anyone else who is in the same spot, and can start to change the minds of people in sports, who are not always known for being accepting. Won’t it be nice when the next two or three players decide to follow suit and NO ONE CARES anymore?
I love that this is not news for our kids. It does seem like there is a shift with young people today and it gives us so much hope for the future. I remember when Ellen came out on her show and that was a huge deal, or when Murphy Brown decided to have a baby out of wedlock “SCANDAL!” —
Well handled, well put, well written. Xx
Love this, Tracey. I find that 95% of the “news” these days shouldn’t have been News in the first place. Even around a situation that is newsworthy all we ever seem to hear about are personal details of the people that are involved and some “experts'” analysis. Just the facts, please and thank you. It is getting to the point where I actually have to remind myself that what I am hearing is NOT FACT but an opinion or assumption. Scary stuff.
Hud is the same way Tracey, has an indifferent, what’s the big deal kind of attitude.
To make a direct connection I remember grade 5 being the year we used gay as a derogatory term in the playground. We were young and ignorant and grew up evolving from that ignorance into parents of acceptance.
Well most of us did as I know there are still Neanderthals out there, but my hope is our kids are the majority and can drive the next generation even into absolute indifference where its not even a story on the radio while we eat our corn flakes.
Great post as always.
J.