Patti, your comment is so poignant and moving. To be pregnant with your first child while losing your mom: it’s two of the biggest transitions we make as women rolled into one. You and your sister are great daughters for giving your Mom such a beautiful last Mother’s Day gift. And your sister is an amazing woman for treating you so well. You must treasure those memories.
Kathsays
Christine, how nice that your hubby referred to you as a mother throughout your first pregnancy. I’m sure he would have given you a card if applicable!
Patti Bsays
I didn’t expect anything. I was spending all my days at my dying mother’s bed side.
We both treated our mom like the most amazing person on earth but grooming her to the best of our hospital based abilities and taking her for the last car ride she would ever take. She was blind by this time so we drove a route she knew and explained to here where we were and we rolled down the windows so the fresh air of the Coastal BC mountians could flow into the car. She died 4 weeks later.
My sister on the other hand treated me like a queen. I got a new top that accomodated my expanding belly and she gave me a foot rub at night and we talked about the baby. I was 5 months along with my soon to be 15 year old son (who is also nearing 6 feet tall). I don’t think my hubby called that day. We didn’t have cell phones then and we were living in the hospital so it was not easy to just pick up the phone and say hello. I don’t hold it against him.
Kathsays
Adelas, good comeback! It reminds me of what I used to say when people would ask, “what are you having?” when I was pregnant. I always responded with, “…a human!” LOL, I was a laff riot. But it is sooo true. We become mothers well before our babies are born, don’t we?
Kathsays
Shash, I don’t know: seems like some of us make excuses for our husbands too easily. I for one have done it for years. Honestly: how hard is it to listen to your wife when she tells you something is important to her and then to act on it? Especially when it’s so easy to make an impact: look after the kids while Mom sleeps in (free), do the housework or laundry or cook a meal (free), take her out to brunch or a movie (inexpensive), even just look after the kids for a few hours so she can go get a massage or facial. How hard is it to call the spa and make an appointment a month in advance?
But for some reason, many men can’t seem to get it together enough to do anything better than grab the dying flowers at the grocery store, or a bag of candy when the day is already half over.
Arrgh…frustration bubbling over…
Christinesays
My first is an April baby, so I already had him by Mothers Day…however I would have expected something as well. My husband referred to me as a mother all throughout the pregnancy so I would have expected some recognition on Mothers Day.
nice toes, btw!
I’m fairly sure my first child was conceived the day before Father’s Day, so it was a non-issue.
However, I considered myself a mother from the moment I found out – I always hated people telling me “You’re going to be a mom soon, are you excited!” and responded (generally to their discomfort) “I already am one, but yes, I will get to meet my baby soon, and I’m really excited about that!”
So yes, I would have wanted a card, too.
I too have low expectations for Mother’s Day as well as my Birthday, Anniversary, Christmas, Valentine’s Day…
My hubby isn’t the greatest in the gift giving department. He wasn’t raised by parents who were great at that with each other so why would I expect any different. I can still dream…
sigh
I paid to have my house cleaned today.
Happy Mother’s Day to me!
I have to do what a friend of mine does, they’ll be shopping and she’ll see something she wants but can’t justify on just a “normal” day and say, “you’re buying me THAT”. I have to muster up the courage.
but nope, this year I received flowers from the grocery store that are on their last leg, a jumbo word search book & journal from the dollar store that is next to the grocery store.
Tomorrow’s our 14th anniversary. Should I hold my breath?
Kathsays
Erin, I’m sorry you didn’t get your clean house. It seems like such a little thing to ask, doesn’t it?
Sara, I agree. I’ve had friends who lost babies and they are mothers, too. I think you have the right plan…buy the gift yourself and then you’re sure to be happy with it!
Sarasays
Hey Kath
FIrst off – nice toes!!!
You know my feelings on Mother’s Day….
But – you FOR SURE deserved something that first year – you’re a mother. I have friends who lost their babies – both in delivery and after – and they are still mothers. ARGH my hatred of the day is growing…
That being said, being a single Mom…I buy MYSELF the Mother’s Day stuff! Will has great taste…:) and I always get what I want!
Erinsays
I can’t remember if I expected or got anything, it’s unlikely since all other Mother’s days are nada (except for my step-daughters who usually give me something).
For years I’ve been begging for help cleaning the house, I only have weekends to do it and I’m often away (to see my mother, niece and nephew). Not once in 8 years has it happened, not even on Mother’s Day, not even when my sister was sick and I was gone all the time. This year I begged, please do it. Nope. A little bit of laundry was done, the living room was tidied but the house was not clean.
I have to say I’m upset, bitter, hurt. It makes me feel unloved, even though I know that’s not true.
I wonder why I can do it all in two days (spread out over the weekend) with my twins around, and my husband who has all week (home with the kids), gets none of it done (except some of the daily dishes, and washing laundry but leaving it unfolded in baskets).
We had a cleaning lady, but my husband fired her because he felt it was too much money for the quality of the work and that he could do a better job. Guess who does it all! Now we can’t afford it because we had a car accident that totaled our van and the new car expenses take the money that might have gone to cleaning.
So, Mother’s day sucks here too! All it does it create expectations that are not fulfilled.
Patti, your comment is so poignant and moving. To be pregnant with your first child while losing your mom: it’s two of the biggest transitions we make as women rolled into one. You and your sister are great daughters for giving your Mom such a beautiful last Mother’s Day gift. And your sister is an amazing woman for treating you so well. You must treasure those memories.
Christine, how nice that your hubby referred to you as a mother throughout your first pregnancy. I’m sure he would have given you a card if applicable!
I didn’t expect anything. I was spending all my days at my dying mother’s bed side.
We both treated our mom like the most amazing person on earth but grooming her to the best of our hospital based abilities and taking her for the last car ride she would ever take. She was blind by this time so we drove a route she knew and explained to here where we were and we rolled down the windows so the fresh air of the Coastal BC mountians could flow into the car. She died 4 weeks later.
My sister on the other hand treated me like a queen. I got a new top that accomodated my expanding belly and she gave me a foot rub at night and we talked about the baby. I was 5 months along with my soon to be 15 year old son (who is also nearing 6 feet tall). I don’t think my hubby called that day. We didn’t have cell phones then and we were living in the hospital so it was not easy to just pick up the phone and say hello. I don’t hold it against him.
Adelas, good comeback! It reminds me of what I used to say when people would ask, “what are you having?” when I was pregnant. I always responded with, “…a human!” LOL, I was a laff riot. But it is sooo true. We become mothers well before our babies are born, don’t we?
Shash, I don’t know: seems like some of us make excuses for our husbands too easily. I for one have done it for years. Honestly: how hard is it to listen to your wife when she tells you something is important to her and then to act on it? Especially when it’s so easy to make an impact: look after the kids while Mom sleeps in (free), do the housework or laundry or cook a meal (free), take her out to brunch or a movie (inexpensive), even just look after the kids for a few hours so she can go get a massage or facial. How hard is it to call the spa and make an appointment a month in advance?
But for some reason, many men can’t seem to get it together enough to do anything better than grab the dying flowers at the grocery store, or a bag of candy when the day is already half over.
Arrgh…frustration bubbling over…
My first is an April baby, so I already had him by Mothers Day…however I would have expected something as well. My husband referred to me as a mother all throughout the pregnancy so I would have expected some recognition on Mothers Day.
nice toes, btw!
I’m fairly sure my first child was conceived the day before Father’s Day, so it was a non-issue.
However, I considered myself a mother from the moment I found out – I always hated people telling me “You’re going to be a mom soon, are you excited!” and responded (generally to their discomfort) “I already am one, but yes, I will get to meet my baby soon, and I’m really excited about that!”
So yes, I would have wanted a card, too.
I too have low expectations for Mother’s Day as well as my Birthday, Anniversary, Christmas, Valentine’s Day…
My hubby isn’t the greatest in the gift giving department. He wasn’t raised by parents who were great at that with each other so why would I expect any different. I can still dream…
sigh
I paid to have my house cleaned today.
Happy Mother’s Day to me!
I have to do what a friend of mine does, they’ll be shopping and she’ll see something she wants but can’t justify on just a “normal” day and say, “you’re buying me THAT”. I have to muster up the courage.
but nope, this year I received flowers from the grocery store that are on their last leg, a jumbo word search book & journal from the dollar store that is next to the grocery store.
Tomorrow’s our 14th anniversary. Should I hold my breath?
Erin, I’m sorry you didn’t get your clean house. It seems like such a little thing to ask, doesn’t it?
Sara, I agree. I’ve had friends who lost babies and they are mothers, too. I think you have the right plan…buy the gift yourself and then you’re sure to be happy with it!
Hey Kath
FIrst off – nice toes!!!
You know my feelings on Mother’s Day….
But – you FOR SURE deserved something that first year – you’re a mother. I have friends who lost their babies – both in delivery and after – and they are still mothers. ARGH my hatred of the day is growing…
That being said, being a single Mom…I buy MYSELF the Mother’s Day stuff! Will has great taste…:) and I always get what I want!
I can’t remember if I expected or got anything, it’s unlikely since all other Mother’s days are nada (except for my step-daughters who usually give me something).
For years I’ve been begging for help cleaning the house, I only have weekends to do it and I’m often away (to see my mother, niece and nephew). Not once in 8 years has it happened, not even on Mother’s Day, not even when my sister was sick and I was gone all the time. This year I begged, please do it. Nope. A little bit of laundry was done, the living room was tidied but the house was not clean.
I have to say I’m upset, bitter, hurt. It makes me feel unloved, even though I know that’s not true.
I wonder why I can do it all in two days (spread out over the weekend) with my twins around, and my husband who has all week (home with the kids), gets none of it done (except some of the daily dishes, and washing laundry but leaving it unfolded in baskets).
We had a cleaning lady, but my husband fired her because he felt it was too much money for the quality of the work and that he could do a better job. Guess who does it all! Now we can’t afford it because we had a car accident that totaled our van and the new car expenses take the money that might have gone to cleaning.
So, Mother’s day sucks here too! All it does it create expectations that are not fulfilled.