I need to sleep more.
Actually, what I need is to go to bed earlier. And I know I’m not alone…
This late-nights-for-no-reason phenomenon is so common among so many of my friends with young kids, it’s almost comical. Or, it could make you cry.
I know LOTS of (smart) women with kids who are usually in pajamas, lying horizontal between their sumptuous linens, with a book in one hand, and with a tall glass of water placed at bedside, all before 9 PM. Their children are abed and slumbering, their kitchens are washed up for the night, and their laundry is folded and put away. (Okay, perhaps it’s neither folded, nor put away, but it is not still sitting wet inside the washing machine, exponentially sprouting mildew in the dark, cavernous recesses of the metal crypt in the basement. For the second day in a row. Ahem.)
Nay, these smart women go to bed on time. They get their rest. Yes, some have children who are extremely early risers (and by extreme, I mean before 6:35 AM) but these women have become what I have not yet mastered – they are their own mothers.
This is a wonderful thing.
A voice inside them yawns and stretches and says, “Go to bed now.” And they listen to said voice. For they are the smart, organised, useful sort of women of which good mothers are made.
I am not made of this magic. (Or whichcraft, as the case may be.) No, not me.
I have (as have the other half of my mummy friends) developed a rather bad habit of going to bed WAY too late. I used to gasp when I watched the hour of midnight roll onto the clock, but lately, when I see 12:46 AM blinking at me, I think to myself, Meh… fifteen more minutes… I’m fiiiiiiine…
Of course, I understand that the biggest reason I do this is because once the children are asleep, (and the husband too) I have the solitude of the house all to myself, and as I’ve declared my work day as being over, I can officially sit down and do a bunch of nothing. And I will stretch this time out for as long as my half-mast, burning eyes can take it.
It’s foolish, I know. By 11 PM, I should be in my bed clothes, with my teeth brushed and flossed, and with my face freshly washed, patted dry, and lovingly stroked with rich, youth-inducing night creams and what have you, but instead, come this hour, I am more apt to be lounging on the couch in front of the fireplace, with my iPad to my right, and both of the morning’s newspapers sprawled open on the floor, and with the television on, talking to me, trying to make me watch a Kardashian do/promote/marry something silly/something dumb/someone insipid, or otherwise it’s trying to sell me a bunch of crap that I don’t need.
It’s really the very best part of the day.
During this semi-quiet time, I contemplate the paint swatches I have tacked up, squinting at the wall with one eye shut, only to switch and wink the other, a) so I can change my perspective on the colour choices in the low light of the evening, and 2) because it’s a way to give each of my burning eyes a bit of a rest without actually closing them both and falling asleep. I mean, if I fell asleep now, I’d miss ALL the useless, yet delicious parts.
Like an episode of How To Make it in America (man, I love that show) even though I’ve seen it twice already, AND it’s recorded on the DVR thingie. I’d also miss out on watching all the youtube clips about Sh*t that Some Kind of Person says to Another Kind of Person in Some Other Place. These things are important. It’s like news, you know. When else am I supposed to catch up on my whole life?
Oh, excellent bed…
…I know should drag myself to you sooner, but I just can’t seem to force myself.
I flip through magazines, and in the back of my mind, in the the deep recesses I try to ignore are the fretful thoughts about what the hell I’ll do if the preschool closes in June and if, lord help me, homeschooling will be my only option… uch, I forgot to mail that thing AGAIN today, what the hell is the matter with me? And what are the signs of scurvy again? I should probably eat an orange… did I take my vitamin this morning? Should I take it now?! Meh, I won’t die tonight … and must I really remove gluten from Oliver’s diet too see if this is part of his upset tummy issues? Ack, what a pain in the ass that’s going to be… and crap, he’s going to be in such a foul mood in the morning… I forgot to get waffles today… too much snow… balls, balls, ba… oh, what a cute lamp… looks like that pillow I saw before… we should totally get a table for that corner… or a ladder… that’d be kinda rad…
And I do this for a long while, quietly, and to myself, only interrupted by bad TV commercials shouting IT’S MY MONEY AND I WANT IT NAAAAOW!! over and over again, snapping me back to my reality that says, It’s late, you should be sleeping. But I do not listen. Because I am made of folly!
Oh, it is so good to have the solitude of one’s own thoughts for a while, without suffering the pull of children’s needs the whole time, or negotiating conversations with one’s own spouse in lieu of a good book. Or even bad television. This is my time of day for dreaming, and without it, I am nothing. Saadly, when I add it all up, I realise I probably lose more than one whole night’s sleep every week with these childish shenanigans, but the alternative is kinda… soul-crushing, I reckon.
Le sigh.
But that’s precisely what naps are for. (Man, I love napping, too.)
What about you? Are you smart like one half of my lady friends, or do you bunk at Camp of Stoopid, with me?! C’mon… confess.
Amen to that. Just want to say thanks for a great post!
I was asleep last night at 9…before my kid.
The last few weeks, I’ve not been watching TV and reading in my room with a tea until 10 and then going to bed…I’ve never slept better.
I love my bed and the hours in it before Will arrives.
OMG! I have been battling this same scenario every night. I get so excited when they go to bed that I stretch it out way toooo long. i always go to bed after midnight and then pay for it the next day. it totally catches up with me however, and i often find myself tired during the day. but, however, it’s an okay price to pay for me – i need that down time at the end of the night or i wouldn’t be able to face the next day of DEMANDs from all!
I’m usually nekkid and in my sumptuous cotton sateen sheets, with my water on the nightstand and my kobo in hand by 8pm (unless I go for a night run in which case 9pm). Then I check something quick on the computer. Get distracted for 2 hours. Fall asleep. Wake up again at 12:30am when Stephen comes up to settle in and watch the Daily Show and Colbert. I usually fall asleep during the commercials but wake up again at the sound of my crush’s voice (my other Stephen). Then I’m KO till one of my kid jumps on me, literally, at 7:30am. I like settling in and being comfy but I hate falling asleep because I know on the other end of it is the beginning of another long, long day of laundry, meals, and catering to leetles. Ugh. But I just can’t keep myself awake anymore. Too tired!
PS – we have the same linens: two sets of fluffy pillows, white linens, white duvet cover (does yours have thin shiny stripes too?) but my accent pillows are dark brown fur like your throw and my throw is a steely-aqua mattelasse ;0) Le sigh. You taught me so well, Tracey Steer
Oh Tracey – you and I must be long lost sisters! I have never been able to get into bed before midnight! After the kids are in bed, it’s me time – first have to catch up on the computer, then there’s the book that must be read because it has to go back to the library, then try to squeak in a show that had been PVR’d last week (lol) oh and don’t forget – that new wine I have to try out or a hot cup of tea to drink … it never ends … oh and I also have laundry waiting that didn’t get done on the weekend so because we have time-of-use billing, I have to wait until after 7pm but it stretches more towards 9 or 10pm …. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH !!! I usually crawl into bed around 2am … then up again at 7:30 to start the day… I just sooooooo love having me time – no kids, no hubby – it’s just so rare… Oh well, I just face the day bleary eyed…thank goodness for under-eye creams LOL
Hello Dahlinggg,
I am definately at a crossroads. I am most productive after dark, but my lifestyle doesn’t jibe.
Yoga has become a really important part of my life yet I can’t do it unless I arise before 6 to practice, rest and shower to get in synch with the day.
So now it’s tearing me up to miss yoga or not have human down time.
I barely never even get to watch TV anymore (I do catch Making It In America and I am freaking out that that Mad Men AND Damages are both returning soon). We record everything but I don’t even imagine when other than at midnight I would find the few extra hours to watch them weekly.
Somebody tell me at what age the littlest of the pack must be before the hours of day return to a normal expanse of time?
I really need a light at the end of the tunnel.
I keep telling myself I am the cause of my own suffering every morning I wake up and miss yoga again. What a nasty cycle.
I confess I did nap for 15 minutes this afternoon while my 4 year old sat on top of me flipping a book she was waiting for me to finish.
Junk sleep…phooey.
Id
I can relate entirely. When my kids were babies I would be asleep by 11:30pm max. Even then I thought that was late. Now my kids are 7 & 3 – I’m up until 2am some nights. Maybe it has to do with the stimulation of our gadgets and devices mixed with the fact yes, the late night quiet time IS enjoyable!
I keep telling myself “tonight will be an early night”! 😉
I’m with stoopid. And yes, that’s what naps are for and espresso shots. And How to Make it in America is such an AH-MAZING show!!!…did you hear they are not renewing? So sad.
i think i’m a counsellor at camp stoopid. well, the daily show and the colbert report are on…and they’re really good right now…and i could fold the laundry, too…and i should finish the article i started reading at christmas…
but i, too, nap 😉