There are times when my children’s chatter (especially my three-and-a-half year old’s) is merely blah-blah-blabbity-blah in my ears. They can talk their fool heads off. Sometimes, they’re not even waiting for a reply from me… they’re just filling airspace. Natter, natter. It’s sometimes like the longest run-on sentence you’ve ever heard in your life, from sun up, to sun down. Holy crap.
And I’m not gonna lie: sometimes my eyes cast upwards to the heavens, and I’m all, OhmygodpleasejuststoptalkingTalkingTALKINGtomealthefreakinglivelongday…
I’ve been known to shout, Silence! I command you!! once or twice in my parenting career.
But then there are times when I’m listening more closely (perhaps when I overhear her talking with other kids her age, and not actually talking to me) and I realise how much her language is evolving, and it amazes me. The choices of words. The little jokes. The specifics.
This morning, Ava Scarlett announced from another room that she was hungry, and I (in the kitchen nearby) asked her what she’d like to eat…
She walked over to where I was sitting and said, “Okay. I’d like a boiled egg cut in half.” She made a cutting motion like a saw with her hand. “And I’d like some avocado. Do you understand what I mean, mummy?” She blinks at me like I might be the plainest idiot she’s ever met.
Me: *blinks back* Okay then. Anything else?
She: Yes. Also three strawberries.
Me: *silent*
She: Please!
Me: Good girl!!
She: And… I’d like some salt on the egg cut in half, and on the avocado too, but no salt on the strawberries.
Suddenly, I feel like I’m in the diner scene of When Harry Met Sally.
Me: *frowns slightly* Salt? On strawberries?!
She: *laughing and shaking her head* Of course not, mummy… that’s so silly! And we never put salt on… ice cream…!! *laughs her head off for nearly a minute*
(Three-year-olds have very weird senses of humour.)
Me: Well, I’ll get things together then… *moves to make breakfast*
She: And mummy? Can I eat it in the tv room? *eyebrows high and hopeful*
Me: *smiling* Yes.
She: And, can I have it on a fancy plate? You know, the red ones with the swirly swirls on it?
She means the Hermès ones. Le sigh. Sometimes, it’s just the little things… (And don’t look at me like that – they were a gift, yo.)
Me: *smiling with teeth* Yes.
She: *clasps hands under chin, breathless* Oh, thank you!!
She scampers off, and I give her what she asked for.
Afterward, she brought her plate back to the kitchen and had thought written all over her face.
Me: How was that then?
She: It was very delicious. *thinks a minute* And you know what? Some salt got all over my strawberries anyway on the red plate, because I didn’t see the salt in the swirly swirls, but they were good just the same. Because anyway, it was just a teensy bit. *makes the universal sign for teensy with her index finger and thumb squished together*
Me: Oh, good.
She: Yes. But I won’t put any salt on my ice cream! *throws her head back and begins to cackle like a lunatic*
She rolls on the floor shrieking with so much laughter, I thought she might puke. (Thankfully, she did not.) But still… what a weirdo.
But really, it’s her language and her complete sentences that knock me out… how did that happen? And when? I should pay more attention to what she’s saying to me these days… it’s starting to feel less like natter-natter, and more like information now. (At least more of the time.)
I like this change.
ok honestly the beautiful offspring of the beautiful people in the beautiful house eat beautiful balanced breakfasts on beautiful plates. I still love you grumbler.
LOL This reminds me of a few of my children however, I am not as nice and sometimes want to just shout “shutthef#$ckupalready!”
I love your daughter she is awesome! And wanting the fancy plate – classic.
On the flip side it amazes me as well, how one minute they can only mutter a few words that we have to really listen to in order to understand, and then a few days later they are talking non-stop!
That almost sounds like my dream, Julie. Silent children. Amazeballs. 😉
my kids give everyone the stinkeye and don’t talk to anyone! me included sometimes! i’m the opposite of you…”speak! i command you!”
It wasn’t so much – one egg, about a third of a smallish avocado, and three tiny strawberries. (No toast or anything… just a little gum for dessert.) And yes, the plates with the swirly swirls tend to increase my appetite too!!
Pardon, whatsthatnow?! I can’t hear you over the yakkedy-yak, Princess…
I love it. But wait. She ate that? All that??? PLEASE send her over here to teach my kid to eat. Talking she can do, but eating, not so much.
And while you’re at it, you may as well enclose a plate of said food, I’m starving. Preferably on the plate with the swirly swirls. I approve.
I’m so jealous.
I swear, Aileen, I still might invest in some earplugs though. It’s just so… neverending. Wowza. (Glad I could make you laugh!)
Oh Desi… I’ve not mentioned the poop jokes yet.. she has a 7 year old brother. Oy.
And the -ed words… too cute!! I hate “correcting” them on some of those things too. It’s just too fricking adorable.
This made me laugh out loud. Oh god, the way you write it, I can just *hear* the whole conversation. Of course, Ava Scarlett’s voice is my daughter’s at that age. And your “pleasestoptalkingtalkingTALKING” is definitely me. Still. They are 7 and 9. Both have a LOT to say. All. The. Time.
Listen – she begs me for gum from 7 AM onward… it’s a miracle that she eats anything outside of the “sugar” food group at all!! (Heh.)
Love this. Your sweet girl reminds me of my lunatic son (except that most of his jokes have to do with poop). Also, he still adds “ed” to the end of most past-tense words. Like “walked-ed” and “bonked-ed”. I’m not ready for him to stop doing that, yet 🙂
Holy crap! Your 3 year old eats boiled eggs and avocado???
WTF am I doing wrong…..lol….my kid asked for a Rice “Kwispwy” square for brekkie.