A few weeks ago someone asked me if we were “out” with our kids.
We aren’t, yet. It’s a topic we talk about frequently, as my eldest is 9 and becoming more aware of the interactions of the people around her.
We’re not out with our kids because we’re not out with our families. And as every parent knows, you really can’t tell young kids anything you wouldn’t want retold to their daycare lady, their teacher, your grandparents, etc.
We’ve talked about when would be the right time to come out to our families. When a close friend of mine came out of the closet I do remember feeling sad that I wasn’t one of the first to know, that she hadn’t trusted me to accept her 100%. But, I don’t trust that they’ll accept this. We’ve decided time might help prove this isn’t some passing fad, that we’re serious and that this might make it easier for them to accept.
Once we are out to our family, we’ll be out to our kids.
Which begs the question, am I ok with teaching my kids that monogamy is simply one way of choosing to love, and not the only way?
Yes. I hope to model strong, healthy, respectful love, and that’s what I hope they take away from my relationships. I hope they can apply it to their relationships, whether they choose to enter into monogamous or non-monogamous relationships.
The way I see it Kath, our girlfriend isn’t a blow up doll. She’s a person we love and care for deeply and are in a relationship with, she’s not someone hired to come into our bedroom and entertain us. We have a relationship – and like gay relationships, it can make those who prefer people be in traditional relationships uncomfortable – but it’s normal for us.
Up until now I wasn’t in the least bothered by your relationship choices, but when I saw this post it made me pause. I always felt that this was a bedroom choice you and your husband made, and not something that would ever be shared with the children, much like you wouldn’t ever share your preference for a certain sexual position or the details of your birth control choices with them.
But telling your children? Bringing a third person that far into the relationship that you would be openly “with” a third person in front of family, friends and kids? That changes things significantly, doesn’t it?