Random choices often shape our lives in very large ways.
In June 2004, my husband and I were looking for a house – a home in which we could raise our growing family and give them the security and comfort that we had experienced during our respective childhoods in Calgary and New Brunswick.
Finding a house in Toronto was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I looked at houses for over year. Nothing was a match – too small, too dark, too expensive, not a good school district, no storage…you get the picture. As I realised that I wasn’t going to find everything on my list in one house, the search got easier and we began to actually bid on houses. That was another rollercoaster: with the multiple bidding process for resale homes in Toronto, we were outbid repeatedly as homes in high-demand neighbourhoods sold for scandalous amounts that far surpassed the value of the homes, in my opinion.
After a year of looking, I was in my ninth month of pregnancy with my second child and desperate to find a house. Our agent showed us a new home that was part of a ten-home development in an older neighbourhood. I fell in love immediately and passionately. The house was bright, friendly and welcoming, and from the moment we walked in, it felt like we belonged there. Not knowing much about the area, the schools, or the potential resale value of the home, we made an offer based on our intuitive feeling that this was it. As the second buyers on the street, we sealed the deal with lots of excitement and a hint of anxiety; eight of the homes in the development were still vacant, so we were taking a risk in not knowing what kind of neighbourhood it would eventually become.
Our living room has a large bay window, and with my two babies at my side, much of my maternity leave was spent looking out the window to see who was coming to the open houses, and who was returning for second visits to the numerous houses for sale on our street. When the "sold" sign would go up on each house (once the first five were sold, the others followed suit rapidly), our curiosity levels would skyrocket as we keenly examined our new neighbours and their varying broods.
It was a unique experience: over the course of several months, I literally saw our little neighbourhood evolve in front of my eyes. And what a neighbourhood it is. We couldn’t have predicted or asked for a better community. There are tons of kids (at least a dozen under the age of five), and without exception, every family on our cul de sac is warm, friendly and considerate. I don’t worry too much about after-school activities for my kids, because I know there will always be kids outside to play with; my son regularly engages in window-to-window conversations with his buddy across the street, making plans with her for the weekend or afternoon. I feel a sense of security when we travel because I know our neighbours keep an eye on the house and feel a sense of responsibility to the neighbourhood.
Coming from the Maritimes, I craved the sense of "small-town" community that I had taken for granted during my childhood. Finally, after more than ten years in Toronto, I’m starting to feel at home.
When we bought our home seven years ago, we were childless. It was our second home purchase and we were moving up to a bigger house with more property, more space between neighbours (and no neighbours across the street, just a big soccer field) and an eclectic mix of yuppies, retirees and young families. Now with three little kids, I still love the house and the neighbourhood, but I sometimes wish my kids had more peers to play with like you describe, Amreen. If a “For Sale” sign goes up (which is rare), I find myself hoping there is a young family moving in. I’m still not dialed into my community, but as my kids get older, I feel more desire to be so…
It took me YEARS to get dialed in to my community, but it changed my life when it happened. When my eldest started preschool, I reached out to the other moms and was instantly hooked in to the community I had lived in for 5 years, but never really felt at home in. Now that she’s in grade school, it’s even better. I know most of the school families, and the houses on our street, behind us, beside us…they’re all emerging as places where friends live!
A sense of community is SO important! I LOVE my ‘hood!