Making time for Girl Talk

I used to be a planner.  Now, it’s hard to plan most things. After an intense week at work, and en famille, I’m content to let the weekend lazily unfold as it may.  Fatigue sets in and often we just putt around the neighbourhood, playing ball and dipping in the wading pool. If a moment of motivation occurs, I quickly get myself to the gym before the opportunity and inclination are lost.

Here’s a snippet of me conversing with a Friend ten years ago:

"Okay, great let’s meet for brunch."

"That’s perfect – dinner it is."

"Oh – sorry, dinner is booked, but maybe we can meet for a quick tea beforehand?"

Here’s another snippet of me on the phone circa Summer 2007:

"So, what you’re trying to say is that your copies of Season 2 of Grey’s Anatomy are totally rented out??"

"Hey guys, yes it’s us again, same order of souvlaki as usual with extra pita for the baby."

In university and for a years after I graduated, every weekend was a whirlwhind of activity – meals, movies, coffees, shopping trips, hour long phone chats.  I loved making plans with friends, organising activities, planning parties. Then – I had kids.

And everything changed – just like that.  It’s not that I don’t socialise any more – I do. But it’s different.  It’s like, "I haven’t seen you in ages. Are you free in mid-September for dinner? Here are some dates that work for me, how about you?" Seeing friends means planning, clearing time on my Outlook calendar, and closer to the day, making sure I have adequate sleep the night before to ensure that I can stay awake through dinner and make some reasonable attempt at conversation.

With work, a family, kids’ multiple activities, and daily grind of maintaining a household, those spontaneous days of shopping and sipping lattés seem to have past ( or on hiatus, I’d like to think).  The reality is:  I miss my friends, the lounging, chatting, knowing every detail of their lives, the private jokes and the giggles. That "girly" part of my life that was so rewarding and fun.  I remember, in law school, the most fun part of going out was the preparation time beforehand, when we would try on outfits and laugh, laugh, laugh.

Now, when I get together with my dear friends, I savour those moments.  A late-evening coffee here or there, a much-planned-in-advance dinner or a phone call when the babies are sleeping.  Everyone I know is super-busy managing multiple responsibilities and getting together requires so much effort – but it’s so worth it.

This past week, on our holiday to Calgary, I had some awesome girl-time with fellow blogger, Katherine Murray. I’ve been dying to meet  Kath and was so disappointed that I missed her at Girls’ Night Out.  Her blog inspires me every week, and Kath’s writing resonates deeply with my own musings on life.  Kath went out of her way to come meet me Calgary, and I’m so glad.  Over falafel and probably the best hummus I have ever had (at Aida’s on 4th Street) we chatted.  I also had the amazing opportunity to meet her gorgeous daughters who wowed me with their good behavious and open attitude toward Lebanese food!  You can ready more about her kids’ amazing palates in her recent post on Losing It! 

Here’s a pic from our visit: