There are good days and bad days.
There are good weeks and bad weeks.
There are good months and bad months.
I get it. Phases.
We’re in a bad phase. This morning, after two door slams, a shoe throwing episode and a screaming fit in my face, I had to leave the house. I had to leave because I was afraid I was going to hit him. I’m not proud of it. But I’ll admit it. I’ll admit because I’m guessing most of you have been there as well.
Tomorrow is another day. But I’m dreading it already. I’m dreading the fight to get him dressed. Dreading the complaining about how boring school is. Dreading the 20 minutes I can keep my nice voice on before I inevitably get drawn into a pointless yelling match with a 5 year old.
Winter was cold but peaceful.
I don’t want to dread waking up. I want to be excited to hear the funny the things that he says. I want to marvel in how goddamn smart this kid is. I want to drop him off at school and be craving to see him a couple hours later.
You know. All the things I felt daily about three weeks ago.
I guess we all have phases.
I’ll hang in until we’re both through this one.
This parenting thing is hard.
I TOTALLY have phases. And I agree that we all do, and we all get how VERY hard it can be to maintain control sometimes. I have absolutely also walked out of a room because I knew I was on the edge of losing my business. I don’t think that makes a bad mom, it makes a bad moment,and I think if we make a point of reconnecting and talking about it afterward, that helps heal it a LOT.
Right now, I’m in a guilty phase because I’m so tired I just want everyone to leave me alone, so my response to any request is not enthusiastic. I don’t want my kids to feel like I think they’re a pain in my backside, so yeah, I need to find a day to recharge so this phase doesn’t go any longer!
Chin up – you’re doing super on the overall picture, and no one is perfect in every moment.
Sara, can’t imagine not having someone to hand off to on those days when I resolutely put my hands behind my back and walked away. screaming, crying, so mad I was shaking. They learn early and often how to push our buttons. and you don’t have to like them all the time, just love them all the time. You’re a great mom and he’s a great kid. This too shall pass. in the meantime, can I buy you a drink?? 😉
Thanks Lisa – a ton of drinks – yes please!
It sure is. Hang in there…you’re doing awesome.