An Urban Mom’s Weight Loss Diary – Week 11

Week 11
Pounds Lost 20

AAAAaaaggghhh! It happened again! This time I gained a whole pound, though. It sure got me down in the dumps, but it also got me thinking. Why did this happen? I could have sworn I had a “good week”, meaning I stayed on program, making healthy choices and eating reasonable quantities. So why did I gain a pound?

Well, let me take a step or two backwards and let you in on a little unsavoury tidbit about my personality: I’m a snob. Okay, not like “I won’t be associated with you if you don’t drive a BMW” snob, but I will ‘fess up now that I often look at other people and make judgments based on their appearance and behaviour. Now hopefully you’re willing to take a good hard look in the mirror and accept that you likely do this a lot more than you’d care to admit, as well.

So where’s all this leading, you’re wondering? Well…every time someone at my weekly Weight Watchers meeting complains that they’re not losing – or have even gained – weight despite following the program, I roll my eyes, and turn to give my husband a meaningful “AS IF!” look. Our leader agrees, although she’s more diplomatic about it saying, “if nothing seems to be working, you’ve got to get back to basics: are you tracking what you eat? Are you exercising? Are you choosing healthy foods first?”

So this weekend, instead of throwing my own personal pity party (a la “I don’t know why I gained…I had a good week!”), I decided to get ruthless with myself. And you know what I realized? I didn’t have such a good week. I had been lying to myself. I started the week with pizza, wings, fries and a giant cookie (yes, it’s actually a meal deal from a local pizza place) – which I didn’t write down in my diary. I also joined my kids in a goldfish cracker feeding frenzy one day when we were really busy and hadn’t eaten lunch by 1:00. Did I write it down? No way. I also did not do any exercise – yes, I vacuumed the house, walked the kids around the zoo for a few hours – but these are normal, daily exercises…you need to do more if you’re going to ratchet up your weight loss: I didn’t.

So, why did I gain a pound? Need I say any more? Instead of feeling down, I should have felt lucky to contain the damage at one measly pound!

All this self-honesty also got me thinking about my goal weight. Currently, in order to have a BMI of 25, my goal weight range is in the low-to-mid 150s. This is a size I haven’t seen since high school. It represents a loss of almost 70 pounds – far more than I intended when I joined Weight Watchers. Now that I’ve lost 10% of my body weight, it’s time for me to meet with my leader and choose an “official” goal. I was, originally, going to go to my doctor to get permission to set my goal around 175. Several of my friends and family agreed; at nearly 5’8″ I’m relatively tall, and have a good, sturdy, muscly physique (when it’s not shrouded in excess fat).

To us all, this seemed like a reasonable approach. But then, once I started peeling away the excuses for my most recent weight gain, I realized I was only making excuses about my goal, as well. And why not, there are so many to choose from: I’m “big boned”, I’m 37, I’ve had 2 kids…the list goes on. But now I’ve decided: no more excuses. I’m not going to sell myself short and settle for half-way – I’m shooting for the big one-five-oh…a step at a time.

I’ve broken down my goals, and I’m constantly reevaluating them. My first goal was to get below 200 – and I did it. My second was to lose 10% of my body weight – did that, too. My next goal is to lose two pounds: one to get me back to where I was last week, and one to make progress. After that, I think I’ll try taking it ten pounds at a time while aiming to be a “real” size 14 (by that I mean a 14 at a store like the Gap, not a “big 14” like you’ll find at Addition Elle, for example).

So, this week, join me in peeling back the layers and getting honest – really honest with yourself. You’ll be amazed!

Kath is mom to two girls, aged 5.5 and 3 and a regular contributor to urbanmoms.ca. Join her here weekly as she continues on her weight loss journey. Please share your thoughts, opinions, successes, advice and more in comments, below.