I was talking to Kath, another member of the urbanmoms.ca team, a few days ago. We were chatting about our kids, the site, our busy lives and then we started talking about time. I know it sounds strange but it was a conversation that has been on my mind ever since.
Kath was telling me about a picture her husband had taken of her when she wasn’t paying enough attention to pose. When they were reviewing the shots later she was shocked at what she saw. She was shocked at the lines on her face – when did I get old? The reason this conversation stuck with me is because the same thing has happened to me. I will catch my reflection in the mirror, not during conscious primping time, but off guard. What I see takes me by surprise. The crows feet, the grey hair, the frightening resemblance to my mother (no offence, mom!).
Speaking of my mother, this all reminded me of a conversation I had with my mom on her 40th birthday. I was about 9 years old and obviously lacked any sense of tact. After giving my mom her gift I asked her how it felt to be so old. She answered very diplomatically that she didn’t feel any different, no matter how old she got she just felt like herself. Um. Was she blind?! Did she not see that she was old? How could she feel the same? I was stumped.
Now I get it. It is not that I look ancient or am especially haggard for my years it is just that I don’t expect it. Time goes by and I just go through my days as me, Jen. Not 25 year old Jen or 30 year old Jen (OK, I’ll stop there). I don’t think about it until I can see it in my face and then I am suprised and a little sad and, if I am perfectly honest, a little scared. Where did the time go?! That’s the thing about time, by the time you manage to catch up to it, it has already moved on. And, whether I like it or not, I am going along for the ride.
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Jen