I have been pretty busy lately, feeling a bit stressed. Instead of hibernating or wallowing, what is my solution? Time with my gal pals! This probably doesn’t seem strange to you because, as women, we inherently know the value of our friendships. Who do we depend on when the going gets tough? Other women.
I am going up north this weekend with a few of my friends. Nothing terribly exciting. A few glasses of wine, a soak in the hot tub, a good night’s sleep, and plenty of conversation. What better way to reduce stress!
Strangely enough, it wasn’t until a recent landmark study by UCLA scientists that this was officially noted and explained. Previous scientific studies relating to stress were mostly conducted on men so, therefore, it was assumed that we all cope in a similar way. For decades it was maintained that both men and women rely on a fight-or-flight response to cope with stress. Individuals either react with aggressive behaviour or withdraw from stressful situations. What they discovered in this new study challenged these assumptions and revealed a distinct gender difference.
"We found that men often react to stress with a fight-or-flight response" said Shelley Taylor, UCLA principal investigator, "but women are more likely to manage their stress with a tend-and-befriend response by nurturing their children or seeking social contact, especially with other women."
Researchers point to the hormone oxytocin combined with sex hormones as being a critical contributor to this reaction in females of many species. They also conclude that this reaction may actually help to explain why women tend to live an average of seven and a half years longer than men. Women are less likely to suffer from stress related disorders. The tend-and-befriend reaction may actually help to protect women against stress which has a positive physiological response.
This would explain why men often react to stress by wanting to be left alone or with aggressive behaviour such as physical confrontation or anger, while women would prefer to talk or just have someone there to listen.
This also explains the need for a community like urbanmoms.ca and reinforces our reason for being. We depend on our relationships with other women to keep us happy, healthy, and stress free!
Please share your comments below, join us in our virtual community, or email me with ideas or feedback.
Jen