Urbandad – Coaching Your Kids

My fondest childhood memories revolve around sports. I grew up outside.  Not literally, of course.  I had a roof over my head but I really only ate and slept at home.  The rest of the time I was either playing road hockey, baseball, football or any other outdoor activity with my neighbourhood pals.  And this was in my spare time.  The rest of my time was spent playing house league hockey or infield for school softball/baseball team, challenging a friend on the tennis court or whipping down the hill for my ski club’s racing team.  I lived and breathed sports. 

As a dad of two kids it is now extremely important for me to pass on this passion for sports and what better way to do that then to be a part of it myself?  However, being dad and instructor has its challenges.  Have you ever peeked into your child’s classroom and stared in awe at the teacher who somehow managed to get 30 six-year-olds to sit down quietly on their bums and listen to a story?  I can’t get my six-year-old to sit down to eat a meal.  I’m not even going to mention my three-year-old. What I am trying to say is that teaching your own child something that has become second nature to you can be slightly to seriously frustrating.  There lies my first tip – Be Patient – this is much easier said than done (consider having a cold beer waiting in the fridge).  Focus on the positives and don’t push your child too far too fast.  This spells disaster for both of you. Don’t forget to regularly praise them – there is no such thing as giving them too much praise regardless of the size of their accomplishment.   In the beginning one of the most important components is attitude – theirs and yours.  Follow your child’s lead and see what they are open to.  Let them explore and trust your child to know their limits.

The first time I took my almost 3 year-old-daughter out skating she thought she was going to be joining her big brother in the shinny rink.  We made a game out of it and now, a mere month later, she puts on her skates, helmet and those precious little hockey gloves ( I would never have guessed they made them so small ) and races with her brother across the rink.  It tested my patience a few times but now it is starting to pay off.  She loves to skate, feels proud of her accomplishments and can’t wait until our next skating excursion.

Having spent the Christmas holidays on the slopes between the bunny hill and the terrain park I see a light at the end of the tunnel.  My sore back is a testament.  My daughter is starting to ski on her own (stopping and turning are next on our agenda) and my six-year-old son had such a blast that even the rain didn’t stop us.  We spent the afternoon catching air on the jumps and racing with a friend and his dad.  I can’t wait for the days when all four of us, mom included, are cruising down the black diamonds together. So tip #2, Have Fun.  I can’t stress this enough. This might sound trite but, believe me, you (and they) won’t stick to it unless you are enjoying it. The more fun they see you having, the more fun they’ll have and the faster they’ll learn. I’ve found that the introduction of mini games or contests within the sport creates an environment of fun and accelerates the learning process. 

Although there is frustration and a significant time investment in becoming your child’s coach, there are also huge rewards.  I have a constant ski buddy (and soon two), I can always find a pick-up game of hockey, and I am never hurting for a tennis partner.  My kids and I get to spend time together doing things we love .  What more can I ask for???

Now the tables are turning.  I never played soccer so my son is teaching me the ropes and last summer we took up in-line skating together.  However, there are some things I’m just not nearly as keen in trying.  My son got into Cross Country running this year and there were opportunities for parents to volunteer…for now, no thanks. 

So here goes tip #3, Sometimes It Takes a Professional.  Summer camps and house leagues are a great way for your child to learn so, take advantage.  If you can’t hack the frustration of doing it yourself or aren’t confident in your ability to teach, let someone else take care of the basics.  You can be there as a practice partner or cheering them on from the sidelines.

Urbandad posts are contributed by different dads from all over the country.  These dads are invovled parents and consider their families their top priority.  How they do this is as varied as they are!  Stay tuned for more posts by urbandad.  If you or someone you know would like to contribute an urbandad post, please email urbandad@urbanmoms.ca.