How Embarrassing!

Three year olds don’t like to be shushed.  They want to be heard even when you desperately want them to stop.  I learned this lesson the hard way the other day.  I was with my two kids at a busy video store treating them each to a movie of their choice.  As we stood in line waiting for our change, surrounded by people, my daughter eagerly exclaimed, "Who tooted…it stinks!"  She turned to her brother, "Did you toot?".  "No!", he answered back with embarrassment.  She then turned to me, "Mommy, you tooted and it stinks!".  Red faced, I turned around with a sheepish smile, "No.  I didn’t toot and we don’t talk about that around other people…it’s private".  How embarrassing!  This couldn’t get any worse!  Little did I know, my embarrassment had just begun.

"Private?" my three year old inquired.  Then, a look of recognition suddenly appeared on her face. "Like my vagina!" she exclaimed with enthusiasm.  Shocked and desperate I turned to her, "Shhh…we don’t talk about that around people…it’s private."  I looked around with an apologetic smile at the crowd of what suddenly seemed like thousands as my six year old began to giggle.  "No!  Like my VAGINA!" she yelled.  "Shhhhhh!"  My son and I both begged as we rushed to her.  Where in the world was my change!  How long does it take to get someone a few bucks in change!

"No!  Private!  Like my VAGINA Mommy!" she yelled.  As tears started rolling down her face, sweat started pouring down mine and the once tolerant looks turned to impatience and then, disapproval.  "LIKE MY VAGINA!", she wailed.  My son was now in hysterics as I decided to forget my change and make as subtle an exit as one can with a screaming child in your arms yelling the word "vagina" from the top of her lungs.

As I tried to calm her down outside and took some time to acknowledge her understanding of what is private my son wisely commented in between bouts of laughter, "Mom…what could have been worse than like my vagina?!"

Jen

We know we aren’t the only ones!  So, please send us your embarrassing kids stories and we’ll share them with the urbanmoms.ca community.  Email your story and a picture of the culprit to email@urbanmoms.ca.